10 Best Drunken Moments > Reviews (29)

I had thought that I'd struggle thinking of ten incidents (being a good girl and all that, like) but I was horrified to find these memories just kept on coming! Anyway here's a select few..

1
I'd been on a great night out with friends and needed to get the train home. As the train had been delayed I had half an hour to wait. I sat on the footbridge out of the wind and closed my eyes. Next thing I was fast asleep on the floor, being woken up by a worried looking couple asking if I was okay and if I wanted to share a taxi home. Which was good of them seeing as not only was I a drunken wreck but I had shimmery make-up all down the front of my keks where the lid had come off my make-up in my bag and I'd emptied everything out looking for my train ticket. I only hope they don't know me, because I live in a small town, and to this day I can't remember what they looked like.
Shame factor - 5/5 My mum didn't hear about it, so they can't know me.

2
Off to the karaoke one night, the usual crowd were there. I was wearing a short pleated skirt (not good in a high wind). Worrying a little about people seeing my pants, I put on some rather large pants. Well I'd rather people see my knickers than what's underneath them! (See what I mean about pre-drink sensible thinking in 10 signs of ageing?) Anyway one of the usual crowd invites a few of us round to theirs to carry the party on. They had a karaoke machine so we all had a sing-song and more drinks etc etc. Being a little bit merry, I dropped the songbook on the floor and as I bent down to pick it up I toppled head-first out of the chair. I'm lying on the floor trying desprately to pull my skirt over my big grey pants which was a bit pointless, as gathering from the hoots of derision the whole room had already seen them. I decided that I'd be safer lying on the floor for the rest of the night.
Shame Factor - 4/5 I still see these people and the story had spread like wildfire to other friends. And I had to walk home the next morning with my short pleated skirt on.

3
On one Saturday night at the Karaoke. (same pub as above) I met a brother of a friend. After a bit of matchmaking we swapped numbers. He walked me home and had a bit of a kiss(even after I'd been sick on the way) Anyway we agreed to meet again but the next morning could I remember his name? Could I heck, I couldn't even remember what he looked like properly! It's a bit of a dilemma, how do you ask someone "Excuse me, but as I was a bit drunk last night I seem to have forgotten your name?" What is the etiquette for this? Luckily he sent a text later on and had the good sense to put his name on the end.
Another problem, I had to meet him and I couldn't remember him and wasn't sure I'd recognise him. Thankfully he recognised me as I pretended to scan the crowd for him, all the time thinking "Please wave or something!" Phew!
Shame factor - 1/5 Turned out okay, and he didn't find out that the first night wasn't that memorable

4
I think this is a combination of drink and general thickness.

I was only mildly tipsy but still managed to do a very good impression of a div. I was just taking a swig of beer and someone started talking to me. I turned to listen to them but for some reason my right hand kept tipping the glass, and I ended up tipping the beer down my cheek. The person sat by me just gave me a funny look and went "Oh." (Which spoke volumes with the tone that he used) and walked off. I was left there with a wet face and a big wet patch on my top.
Shame factor - 3/5 Another reason why I shouldn't be let out on my own.

5
Me and my friend met this man when we were out one night and we went back to his (he lived above a pub which he managed) we had a few drinks in his pub (no hanky panky went on-promise!) and I wanted a nosey down the cellar (why, I don't know) and getting down the cellar steps without incident, I stepped backwards and fell over a barrel. I was so embarrassed that I didn't tell him that I'd dislodged a pipe thing and it was seeping lager. Oo-er.
Shame factor- 2/5 I've not seen him since but I think I should go back to the pub and at least buy him a few drinks

6
You know the son 'Filthy/Gorgeous' by the scissor Sisters? It's hard enough to sing when your in the shower. Yeah well I get up in the karaoke to sing it in front of a pub full of people before realising I only know the chorus. It was bad. Really bad.
Shame factor 3/5 - A pub full of people looking daft at you while you scrape what's left of your dignity off the floor.

7
We've all done it, been caught short while we've been out. In between pubs I decided I couldn't wait to use the toilet so I nipped up a dark alley. It was on a bit of a hill, and I went well out of sight, with my friend keeping lookout. Suddenly I could hear shouts of "Eeeew!" and "Eurgh!" but positive that I couldn't be seen I didn't think anything of it. It was only when I got back to my friend that she explained that another group of girls that she knew had stopped to chat and as they stood there they were caught in a steady stream of pee streaming past their suede shoes.
Shame factor 3/5 - At least they weren't wearing sandals

8
I came down to Manchester for a couple of days with my friend and her boyfriend before I moved up there. Of course that means that you must go out on the beer. The night itself went pretty smoothly, good laugh etc etc. Before we went home we decided to stop at a 24-hour Spar to satisfy our case of the munchies. I paid for my stuff, and feeling charitable I decided to get rid of some of my spare change in the charity box by the door. I did notice that as I was trying to shove my money in the hole the security guard was looking at me funny and my friend was in hysterics tring to pull me away. Finally she stopped laughing long enough to say "Nooo Rach, it's not a charity box, it's a fire extinguisher!" Well I didn't know, did I? They should have put a sign on it or something!
Shame factor 2/5 - At least no-one knew me up there. And the thought was there.

9
What is it with men? A few lines into Tom Jones or Robbie Williams, they start peeling their clothes off.

With a little encouragement from us of course. The poor man in question started unbuttoning his shirt and, well, you can't stop there can you? Egged on by a load of drunk baying females he took his trousers off and gave us a flash of his backside. He left his socks on though much to the disgust of one woman who screeched "Uurgh! He's left his socks on! If he's left them on now, he'll leave them on in bed!" His friend looked furious though. Still, he was in the minority.
Shame factor 1/5 - At least I kept my clothes on.

10
After moving up to Manchester me and my sister went out to a club. It was a bit dead in there (This was actually the same night we met that man who ran a pub) Still, we danced, drank and generally had a laugh. When I went back to the table my phone wasn't in my bag and I was convinced it had been robbed, Even though I was dancing right by the table and there were only four people there. My sister told one of the staff, and everyone helped to look around for my phone, thinking maybe it had dropped on the floor. As the club searched (customers as well as staff) I nervously fiddled with my necklace and felt something down my top. Yep, it was my phone, put there for safe keeping incase it dropped out of my bag. I had to go round telling everyone that it hadn't been robbed after all. I wouldn't mind, but it's not as if my breasts are that big that I could lose stuff in it.

Well I hope you have enjoyed reading about my drunken antics. Remember binge drinking is not big or clever. But it's so much fun! Funnily enough, I don't seem to drink as much now....
Thanks for reading!