This isn't so much a rant as a therapy session - I genuinely do dislike these 'celebrities' immensely! Not all of them are repulsive, looks-wise, but in my mind they are!
JODIE MARSH
Maybe if she put some clothes on, got a bra that fit her, washed her hair and wiped off some of that war paint, she would be pretty! She's an irritating nobody - what does she do, exactly, apart from being an ex-lapdancer? We don't need your boobs shoved into our faces, Jodie, love - put them away!
GARETH GATES
Nobody over the age of thirteen and who isn't a celebrity wannabe fancies you! Your songs are terrible, that spiky hair is cheesy as hell and the British public have had enough of your stupid drunken antics. What on earth is Sunshine all about? My little five year-old cousin can write better than that!
ALL OF WESTLIFE
Grrr - just go away! Westlife is dead; I never liked them, and I like their new song even less! It's called Hey Whatever or something like that, and it's completely dire. Unoriginal, stupid and sounds like every other song they've done before. Quit before you become a laughing stock - oops, too late..
RACHEL STEVENS OF S CLUB 7
Have you seen her without make-up? She looks even worse than I do on a Monday morning! Her skin is dull and grey, she has a boyish figure, her eye area is lined and wrinkly, and worst of all, she has webbed feet! =0 She's not exactly the ugliest of women, but she's not the prettiest. I don't like her voice either; she's nothing special!
DEAN GAFFNEY
The binman in Eastenders. One word: urgh. Maybe he's a nice man really, but from what I've heard, he's not. Up his own arse, are the words I have been told about him! Each to their own, but I don't see why anyone would find him attractive, ever, based on his looks. He has lank, greasy hair and a weird, angular face covered in spots - not a good look!
DONATELLA VERSACE
I have a magazine in front of me now with a pic of a topless Donatella in it - why inflict this sort of pain on innocent people? She's at least sixty. Her skin is orange and leathery, her boobs droopy and saggy, and her hair looks like straw! I think she would look really good for her age if she toned down that tan, her hair was a more natural colour and covered up in a tshirt and jeans. But it isn't going to happen, is it?
PARIS HILTON
She honestly doesn't look real because her eyes are completely blank - she looks like Barbie! She has flawless skin, a tiny waist and pouty lips, yes, but who would want to go out with someone who doesn't look like they're capable of thinking? Also, she tries dusting the sides of her nose to narrow it down, too, but it just looks silly because she doesn't blend the powder! Have a look next time you see a picture of her.
ULRIKA JONNSON
I don't like her at all. She just seems to be a publicity-hungry tart with a scraggy turkey-neck! I really do doubt she was 'raped' at all, to be honest. Just another PR stunt to promote your autobiography, isn't it? She needs to get that crepey, wrinkly skin sorted out as well - her autobiography cover has obviously had industrial-strength airbrushing applied to it!
PETER STRINGFELLOW
I saw a picture of him in just a white thong - urgh! He and Donatella should get together. Everything about him is repulsive - he's old enough to be my granddad; why is he trying to act sexy? Cut off the hair and for the love of God, put on some boxers! Disgusting; the worst of the lot really.
VICTORIA BECKHAM
She only looks decent because she has spend thousands on surgery (I'd say breast implants, liposuction on her hips and bum and lots of Botox!), and has an army of stylists, hairdresser's and 'nail technicians'! Wouldn't we all look good if we had her money? Honestly, she just seems to me like a greedy, selfish b*tch who only cares about fame and money.
Liz Hurley, Michael Winner, Chris Evans, Catalina Guirado, Anthony Worrall Thompson, Vanessa Feltz, Linda Barker and Victoria Hervey very nearly made it onto the list, by the way!
A bitch? Me? =P
by (4%):
19.05.2004 13:01
LOL
09.12.2003 11:02
That's what I like to see, a good honest op!! LOL! A fascinating read, and yes I've noticed the powder-thing with Paris Hilton too. Niki :)
03.12.2003 20:19
oh i like this op, i couldnt have chose better myself, i too hate all 10 of them. maria x