10 Most Annoying Sayings

I’ve had a crappy day stuck in a hospital being x-rayed, poked and prodded and once again letting the vampires get at my blood, they must have collected more of mine over the years than Dracula ever got.
So. I’m feeling a bit poorly, not up to doing a serious review and there’s nothing on TV, I have writer’s block and none of the “ten Most” categories inspired me, so you get stuck with this one. I actually thought there was a category for old sayings or adages but I must have been hallucinating, so I guess this is the only place to put it, since I’ve done most of the donkeywork already. Feel free to have a good old groan as you’re reading.

My mother always had a phrase fit for each contingency,
Over many years of time she passed this wisdom down to me.
In reckless youth I had no place to put the words to use,
Now I’m older, am I wiser? Guess I’ll call a truce.

“Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves”
However hard I stared at them they sat there rusting on the shelf.
One day when I was very broke I took down the jar to count them
Would the pounds have mounted up? Alas they came to two pounds ten.

“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, I’ve heard it all before
But the bird of fortune can’t be caught it flutters past my door.
Meanwhile the two have fled the bush moved on to make a nest
Multiplying into flocks that twitter, taunting with their jest.

“A stitch in time saves nine” they say, whoever penned that ditty
Should be made to sew up seams as penance for being witty.
There must be many a person with a phobia of deepest dread
From cobbling socks to turning collars, now there’s nylon thread!

“He who laughs last laughs the longest” well maybe that was so
When kings and queens had jesters and none to spoil the show,
But now the fools are in government the laughter is on them
For none can get the last laugh in with such opinionated men.

“The pen is mightier than the sword”, tell that to histories kings
Who had a habit of lopping off heads to beget their B…..D offspring.
Times really haven’t changed that much forged documents led to war
And vitriol flows right from the pen to even up the score.

“It’s an ill wind that blows no good”, well pardon me for saying
I think that is quite obvious and needs no keen portraying
With a mixture of beer and curry too when indulging in some partying
The morning after can be grim with a blowing and a farting.

“A fool and his money are soon parted”, I wonder from where that came?
Maybe from the days of idle rich who blemished their family name.
Now the gentries’ days are gone their mansions are crumbling heaps,
Kept up by National Heritage, safari parks or sheep.

“There’s’ many a slip twixt cup and lip” bespeaks of making merry
From dinner parties of numerous courses aided by wines and sherry.
In modern days this still hold s good, truth will out one day
When people that shall not be named mix business with play.

“Too many cooks spoil the broth” now that’s a wise adage
Especially pertinent to TV in this our day and age
Whatever day, whatever channels you’ll be sure to find
A famous chef, or two, or four, all with a knife to grind.

There’s many a pearl of wisdom to be found in any saying
So forgive me for my little digs, I did enjoy the playing.
I missed out quite a few as I found them hard to rhyme
So ending with my favourite “Make hay when the sun does shine”.

I hope those gave you a few chuckles.
LisaX