Disadvantages Don,t even start me!!
As i get increasingly closer to old age ( I'm 26 ) I am finding more things to gripe about. ( someone tell me wat a gripe is, is it a ripe grape? ) This worries me somewhat because i fear that i will be a very grumpy old man ( albiet a very handsome one ), chasing kids with hoverboards away from my front garden with a stick. Anyway after much debate with myself i have picked ten. Here goes..................1) ''I'll will wipe that smile of your face''!!
Right now the women might be able to answer this one for me. I know that cleaning materials have improved over the years and that even sponges and cloths have special names and powers but is there one that can actually wipe a smile of a persons face? Is it invisible? Because when people say this they dont seem to have any cloths or cleanning materials in their presence. Once a guy told me he was going to do this when i was round at his house ( the house was a tip, so suggested he wipe down his kitchen instead ) then he hit me.2) ''Does my bum look big in this''?
Come on now girls why do you ask this? Is it a trick question? Should we be honest or lie? '' No love your bum looks big with or without that on'' or ''Dont blame the dress/ skirt/ trousers, if anything they squeeze it in a bit to make it look smaller'' or ''No love it doesnt look big just warn me when you are going to fart''. Are these acceptable answers when the truth is required? When we are nice or complimentary you think we are taking the piss and when we critical you huff for weeks so please dont ask. You know yourself when your ass is big.3)''Take it from me''!
Is this just not stealing but with someones consent ? What kind of world are we living in when we are encouraging people to take things from us? We should maybe hire it out to them make them appreciate it a bit more or maybe give them a loan of it. My mate went round to this mans door who along with other sentences invited my mate to ''take it from me'', later in the week when the man and his family were out my mate took him up on his offer and took all the stuff in his house. He is now in jail for 6 years. Disgusting4) ''Its better late than never''
Try telling this to the missus on her birthday or at christmas or anniversery or valentines day ( boy that is a lot of occasions to buy for ). '' Do you know what day it is Stephen''? '' Yes, its Monday'' '' No it's our anniversery you W........... ( put your own word here )'' '' Oh sorry but it is Monday too so i was also right '' '"You forgot did'nt you Stephen'' " Yes honey i did but i will get you something tomorrow or we will go away at the end of the month, I mean it's better late than never eh? WRONG its not, it's never better, not in a womans world. It's not worth it. Though when out shopping with the missus and you want to get home for the match and she is going into every single shop in town and you miss the first half then, in her eyes its better late than never,. So remember.5) ''I can see were your coming from''
''You can see were i'm coming from''?
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