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ANGELINA SAYING NO IS THE MOST ANNOYING BLOW

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04.05.2005

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Cant really say

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They get on my wick

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Why Do Such Trivial Things Annoy Us.

I had been thinking about what to write about next and as I have already took two ideas from Beatlesgal25 I decided that I would have a go at doing a challenge that the great hiker did just under a week ago, so here goes.


1. "Are you in the Computer".

Now this one I both hate and enjoy and use it to have a laugh. Without fail everyday the girl in work does a complete backup of the computer system. Then she walks about the office asking everyone "Are you in the computer" and off course most of them say they are and log out. Well I am sorry but I just hate bad grammar and it's a packed office and she is approaching me and yes she says it "Are you in the computer". I give her that are you all there look and say in my loudest voice "Do you really think that I could fit inside a computer, that film Tron was just fantasy didn't you realise that". She's a bit annoyed now as her most precious saying has been shot to pieces, but am I in the computer, please !!

2. "What goes around comes around".

The number of times I have to listen to this saying is just way to much. The girl I share an office with uses it nearly every single day and thankfully she is on holiday for a week. For example one day it was raining really heavy and some plonker had parked in my space so I said to her, "I hope he gets a puncture, that will teach him not to park in my space". Then she says it, "I would be careful what you say, don't forget, "What goes around comes around". And yes two days later I did get a puncture. I have argued the point about murderers that have won the lottery but I did get my own back. She arrived in late moaning about the traffic and I just had to say "The early bird catches the worm". Seriously though she is such a pain and this week is like heaven without her.

3. "Money can't buy you Happiness".

This one really takes me to the fair and back again. I remember watching a program on one night about Lottery winners that regretted winning the Lottery and how it had ruined their lives, what complete tosspots. Tell Peter Springfellow or Rod Stewart that money can't buy happiness, I am sure both will agree as they go to bed at night with that young thing beside them, would certainly make me happy. And not having to worry ever again about were the money is coming from for the next bill. And yes I also hear you saying that your health is more important than money and believe me I totally agree with you, but on the other hand a few million in your bank will certainly get you better treatment than the National Health Service. I also hear you say but sure such and such have loads of money and they are really miserable, that's because even if they had no money they would be miserable, they are basically miserable sods. Now if I won a big rollover of say £15 million pounds what do you think would be the chances of me and Angelina Jolie getting together, I could get a lot of plastic surgery done to look like her type of guy, you reckon she would go for me?

4. "Find a Penny pick it up, all day long have Good Luck".

This one I can tell you doesn't work. Firstly it makes you look like an old tramp for picking it up and secondly god knows where it has been. I have done it as I am superstitious and on walking I noticed a penny and as it was a Saturday and I had my football bet in my hand I stooped down and picked it up. A few kids spotted me and called me an old gypsy but little did they know that the penny was going to bring me good luck. And it's 455pm and all my teams have lost and as I throw the sheet in the bin the wife moans "I suppose you have gone and blown all your money". And I give a sly laugh, little does she realise I have a penny left.

5. "Be careful what you wish for as it might come true".

Now please point me in the direction of the sad old fool that wrote this worldly piece of advice. I do understand the meaning of it but if you have the right sort of wish then I don't see a reason to be careful. There have been lots of things that I have wished for and over the years they have come true and I am glad they have. Sometimes you have to wish for something as I am a firm believer that if you really want something hard enough in life then you can get it. It's not foolproof though, the wife is still here.

6. "Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves".

What a complete load of old cack, written no doubt by some sheep farmer in the 10th Century. Due to inflation and the penny being completely devalued I think this old saying should be totally done away with. It should be replaced with "Look after the tenners and the fifty pound notes will look after themselves". It even sounds better doesn't it, I am going to start using that saying and so should you and then if it catches on and even gets said on television I can say "That's my saying".

7. "Don't worry, things couldn't get any worse".

You reckon do you, read on. I am off work and not feeling that good and a friend calls to see how I am, and he says it "Don't worry mate, at least things couldn't get any worse". So the next day I feel a bit better but notice I have a puncture and am still a bit run down so I decide to lie down. Then the postman calls and it's the damn electric bill. Again a knock at the door and as I get up I trip on the carpet and I think I have broken my ankle. Luckily it's my friend and he takes me to the hospital were I am told it's just a sprain. Driving home I am telling him about the puncture, the electric bill, feeling awful and then going and spraining my ankle. "Still though you could have broken your ankle, so don't worry things could have been worse" he says. I look at him and say "Yeah your right I suppose, I could be arrested for smashing your face in".

8. "The Grass is always Greener on the other side".

This one is a minor annoyance because sometimes it's true but 95% of the time it's not. Yet again it's just one of those sayings to make you accept what you have got. Let's just say you are looking at the neighbour across the street who is just heading off on his holiday abroad with his stunning wife with those Angelina lips and you are just so jealous. And that same mate as before says " They may look happy but who knows what problems they have, don't forget the grass is always greener on the other side". My mate always says the wrong things because as she gets into the car with those long legs I know that green grass on the other side looks mighty good to me.

9. "If you can't say anything good, say nothing at all".

For a start this one totally defeats any ratings that ciao have doesn't it, you can just scrap that not helpful box. What do you mean you are just about to click that box now, don't you bother! I once said to the wife to only talk if she had something posititive to say and she was a mute for 3 months. But back to the above saying, that one is just so daft, it denies you of your basic human rights of free speech. My ancestors didn't fight all those years back to get me my basic rights just for some silly sod to come along with that saying. If I want to say something that's not good but is honest then I shall say it, enough said !

10. "You can't turn the Clock back".

You can actually, you just turn it over and wind the dial back, how easy is that. Seriously though it's such a daft saying as it's one of the most obvious ones. If you have just had some really bad news in your life the last thing you want is some plonker telling you "You can't turn the clock back". And you are then thinking to yourself, "God that film Back to the Future was just made up". Never knew that! But we all do have times in our lives when we would love to turn the clock back, but you can't so please don't say it ok. !!


I enjoyed writing that and thanks to hiker for the idea. One of the best ones that annoyed me was when an old bloke knocked me off my motorbike with his car. And as I lay on the ground with the bike on top of me and blood soaking through my jeans he leaned over me and said "Are you alright". Bonus points if you guess what my reply was.


Thanks and Stay Lucky.


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Comments about this review »

Flobo1992 26.07.2007 21:31

Very funny and well writen. Flo.

Jerrica 30.12.2006 15:35

That was great review and well written. Hugs. Jerrica. xxx

reddragonflame87 25.10.2006 12:47

Heh heh heh, these made me laugh although apparantly I read and rated this before. I've always found it funny when people say "Are you ok?" when it's blindingly obvious that you aren't! And when they say "Careful what you wish for". Oh, I'm sorry, I'm supposed to treat my wish for a long, healthy, wealthy life for me and everyone attatched to me like a loaded shotgun, am I?

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This review of 10 Most Annoying Sayings has been rated:

"very helpful" by (80%):

  1. orrin31
  2. Jerrica
  3. Lemonhead563

and 68 other members

"helpful" by (2%):

  1. hypercrazymadness
  2. xalala

The overall rating of a review is different from a simple average of all individual ratings.