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10 Most Useless Items

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Excellent

“Where's the nearest skip?”

published 13/01/2005

Gets it off my chest

Numerous

Whether it's things we've bought ourselves, things we've been given, or useless things in general, life is full of useless things. We've already heard of chocolate fireguards, motorcycle roof racks or solar-powered torches, so here's my spin on the whole topic of uselessness. They're in no...

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Not for me

If it made it onto the market its made someone mon...

Its money out of someone else's pocket

I felt compelled to write about this after a recent shopping trip. I spotted a few things that left me kind of like "Huh? Why?". Here's my top ten: 10) A dog umbrella - A what? you might say. This umbrella is about the size of a little girls umbrella and is clear and you clip it on to the dogs...

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Not for me

“What's the use?”

published 03/11/2002

Lilies and Peacocks

Slugs

This was one of my first reviews on Ciao, and on reflection I don’t think it was as useful as it might have been. Even more regrettable, from my point of view at least, many of my fellow-Ciaoists didn’t seem to find it much use either. If you clicked on the “Sort by Usefulness” button at the top...

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Good

see op

see op

It's been quite a while since I wrote anything for Ciao, so I thought I'd ease myself in gently by writing a Top 10 list. I've chosen as my subject '10 Most Useless Items'. When I say 10,I actually mean 8. Some of them aren't exactly 'items' per se, but I'm still including them. They aren't in...

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Satisfactory

“Fish Mittens”

published 08/02/2006

None

you name it!

Useless inventions? I almost don't know where to begin...but I'll try. CHEAP JUICERS. What is it with juicers? I know if you spend £!00+ you can probably get yourself a fairly useful bit of kit, but on the whole most electric juicers on the market require you to; peel the fruit or vegetable, cut...

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Good

“A Sucker For A Gadget”

published 29/08/2003

Oh the catharsis of it all!

The what?

Being a bit of a gadget-freak (wot, not you Chris, surely shome mishtake), it stands to reason that as one of the penalties for being an ‘early-adopter’ of technology, I’ve bought a few ‘lulu’s’ in my time. No, I didn’t buy a Sinclair C5 or a Betamax VCR, but I come close in my own modest way...

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Not for me

“John Prescott and my nipples”

published 02/06/2006

They may have had a use at some point...

... but now they're useless

In my opinion, the following items serve no use: 10) John Prescott Sorry to get political, but what use is he? You can always rely on him to do something daft to deflect the heat from Tony, like when he punched that bloke, but other than that, what does he do? In fact, I don't think we even had a...

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Not for me

“10 items of folly.”

published 02/02/2003

Another chance for a good moan.

Good question.

This list is hard to compile. As I discussed items I consider to be useless, such as Vanessa Feltz, my wife came up with a dozen counter-arguments. So I ignored all advice, and just went on a self-indulgent rant! In no particular order… FLIES. Utterly useless creatures. They fly back and...

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Satisfactory

“Tacky, Useless Or Both”

published 05/07/2002

None whatsoever

Waste of money

This opinion is probably going to sound really petty, but I was longing to find something to write about as I haven’t written for ages. I came across this category and I’m sorry, but I couldn’t resist it. If you can bear to go any further then read on. If not you probably possess or use some of...

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Not for me

“Brazilian wax anyone”

published 11/12/2002

None, as far as I can see!

they are useless!

This is a very subjective opinion, based on the premise that one man's meat, and all that. I am fully expecting to be informed that at least some of the following articles are of great use to some of you out there. So feel free, tell me I am wrong, I have broad shoulders! Take your seats for a...

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Not for me

Fun to make fun of.

They're utterly pointless.

It seems that corporate, consumerist Americans come up with new crap each and every day that we simply Can Not Live Without. It's sad, really, because if I had invented half of this garbage I would be well on my way to retirement by now. The fact of the matter is that there is more useless crap...

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Not for me

“Bring On the Binmen”

published 14/11/2002

You can give the junk to charity shops

They may not want it

I don’t, of course, buy useless items, and I discourage people from giving them to me. But there’s one time of the year when I know they’ll start arriving. So while I brace myself for the horrors of Christmas, I’m remembering some of the useless junk I’ve had in previous years. 1. The most...

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Excellent

none

none

I had to think about this one, and about all the useless gadgets we have in our houses, and not forgetting the rubbish that Manufacturers try to sell us..... Who remembers the Self Lighting Cigarettes brought out in the 1960's called Decca ? where each fag had a semilunar patch of phosphorus so...

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Not for me

“Do you blow”

published 07/06/2002

bugger all

plenty

I`ve got a houseful of useless items, but there are some things that even I`m not gullible enough to buy. Number one I first saw when expecting my first child. This is the nappy stacker. Basically it`s just a holder made from cotton material then sewn onto a coat hanger. Nappies come in bags...

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Excellent

“Useless FACTS”

published 30/05/2003

well if there were advantages i'd be in the wrong ...

Technically they're 10 most useless facts, not ite...

I recieved a few of these in an email so i'm sorry if you've heard of some of them before. Oh yeah, and OFCOURSE a duck's quack echoes, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise! 1.If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee...

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