10 Things You Couldn't Live Without

...live without.

10. The first pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work.

A good barman will spot your mood and serve you as soon as possible with the minimul of plesantarries. this pint is a solatary moment between man and ALCOHOL. The first half gets gulped greddily down and you hang onto the glass as if your life depended upon it. The second half normally gets dealt with in a fairly quick but non trivial manner. This ...
...your mind unravel and tells you that you are no longer at work and can start to relax. This is a fantastic pint, but there is something far better than this.......................

9. The second pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work.

Yeah the first one bairly touched the sides, and you hardly noticed it, so to not have a second would be disrespectful to the beer god. Normally the first third gets gulped down before ... more

We can live without a lot of the paraphinalia that we surround ourselves with. How many ways do have of playing back music? all you need is something to hit and your own god given tallent to to that, cavemen used to play on those things that dangle in caves and the other things that point upwards. Dinasaurs probabally had their own music, the rytmn of the swamps. Anyway I have digressed here is ten things you could not live without.

10. The first pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work.

A good barman will spot your mood and serve you as soon as possible with the minimul of plesantarries. this pint is a solatary moment between man and ALCOHOL. The first half gets gulped greddily down and you hang onto the glass as if your life depended upon it. The second half normally gets dealt with in a fairly quick but non trivial manner. This pint is not to be taken lightly as it helps your mind unravel and tells you that you are no longer at work and can start to relax. This is a fantastic pint, but there is something far better than this.......................

9. The second pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work.

Yeah the first one bairly touched the sides, and you hardly noticed it, so to not have a second would be disrespectful to the beer god. Normally the first third gets gulped down before your change arrives, and at this point a good barman will recognise that you are almost ready to reenter the world of non-work.

"Hard day at the office" he says.... "
"Yeah, bunch of bleeding idiots and liberty takers" you mumble darkly into your pint as you prepaire to take that second gulp.

You actually have time to taste this one, and are making promises that you are going to go home and have something to eat, but there is something far more essential to life than that.....

8. The third pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work.

Hey it is still Happy Hour, which means that it is not really like you are spending all your cash on lager, and it is bad form to go home grumpy. A few more plersantaries are exchanged this time as you are just begining to loosen up, the pint is still being held as if your life depended upon it, but a couple of your mates are also here and they have had really bad days at work too. It would be rude not to have a communal moan whilst you finish off the third before popping off home for tea, but then someone suggests getting a round in and again it would be rude not to accept and you have only had three...................

7. The Fourth pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work.

The beer is no longer being guzzled at a fast pace but it is still going down at a reasonble rate, but hey you are with freinds and having fun unwinding even though the death grip on the glass is still there. Conversation has moved on from how bad work is to how much you are looking forward to summer and mini-skirts. A game of pool may even be in order, yeah time to knock the pensioners off the table but you are not ready to be told tales about being a failed pork pie salesman. You are with freinds and starting to feel the effects time to get a quick round in before the end of happy hour cause there is only one thing better than this now isn't there...........................

5. The Fifth pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work.

Dirty look and accusation time the words "I did not want annother pint, I was to go home for my tea" get uttered here, but what it really means is " dam you I was going to get the round before the end of happy hour, you cad". There is definite merryment going on now and the conversation is revolving soley arround mini-skirts. Someone always mentions food at this point, but the answer to that is they do really good burgers here and if you want something a bit more substansial there are about 100 curry houses within walking distance from here so stop maoning and you know what is better than this...........

4. The Sixth pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work.

The poor soul who has to buy this round always delays mch fumbling in pockets for cash, "Oi!, hurry up there is a Nat West 100 yards down the road, I'm dying of thirst here". The reasons for this delay is that he is annoyed at missing happy hour and was too stupid to get a round put in the pump earlier thus saving money. However everyones death grip on the pint is gone and much merryment is to be had. The conversation is still stuck on mini-skirts but a number of jokes and annecdotes about other things are creeping in, and I am normally telling anyone who will listen that the world would be a much better place if I was in charge. Who's round is it any way "Oi you, you can't leave without getting one in, get to the bar you tight <insert really bad sexual expletive that would get my account blocked here>" Cause lets face it you already know what is better than this...........

4. The Seventh pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work

The lightweights are really begining to flouner here and have switched to bottles, but you are in a pub and there is only one way to drink Lager in a pint pot you big Jessie, fancy bottled lager is a rip off anyway. The barmaids are stunning, even when you are sober they are stunning, but at this point the single men here think they are in with a chance. The attached men know that they stand alsolutley no chance and are enjoying watching it. This also means that we know who is getting the next one in, because guess what there is something better than this...........

3. The Eighth pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work

The room has gone all funny and you are not really sure what you are talking about, you remember something about going home for your tea, but a burger was the replacement for that. Anyway it has now gone past mere enjoyment, it is a competition the lightweights who went on bottles have declined to pay for this round, the illegitimate sons of female members of the canine family that they are. No you can't go home now and be the first to leave the pub without keeping your honour and reputation intact and deep in your heart you know that you really cannot live without..............

2. The Ninth pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work

We are now down to the last few men standing, Men of stature, grit and general manliness, the conversation reflects this and revolves around mini-skirts, drinking, politics and football. Though the drinking pace has slowed down significantley but last orders has just been called, and we know that we cannot leave without experiencing something far more essential than this..............................................................

1. The tenth pint of LAGER after a really bad day at work

The fact that you have not switched to spirits here is something to be proud of even though the room is not in the least bit steady. This one takes grit and determination to finish but It was bought and paid for and by golly it is going to be finished.............

there you go ten things that I could not live without, and the reason why I feel like a badger has poo'ed in my mouth this morning.........................  

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