Tis an Art to being Happy……….
I sat down to write this when I suddenly realised what a miserable old fart I am. Not that much makes me happy to be honest. Ok I jest as always, now sit back put yer feet up and read on…….
Numero One................
I enjoy more than anything making someone laugh, there really is nothing in life that comes close to it. Well maybe a romp in bed with Angelina Jolie wud surpass it and if you are reading this Ang you can even drink my blood after it. Tis a strange girl that but I am drifting off topic or maybe I am just drifting on the edge of sanity. But a smile or a comment like one on my last review that said "I was a bit down until I read that review". Now is that something to make you happy, beats money any day. "Oh please Art you are taking the piss, you would rather they slipped you a fiver". "Oh shut up, let's go to number 2".
Numero Two................
When I get time I enjoy reading more than anything. "Jeeez you say that about everything, more than anything blah, blah, blah". Anyway ignore my spilt personality as I do enjoy reading and in all honesty I am a lazy sod and can't be arsed with straining my eyes with the effort of reading. However I did read a few on holidays in between my part time job as a lifeguard. To escape within the confines of a good book is a joy, and then to reach the last page only to feel you have lost a friend, tis a happy feeling. "You would know about losing friends for sure".
Numero Three................
What can I say but women make me happy. Just everything about them from their much better to look at faces to their shapely figures. Men just got a bad deal in that department, well except for me of course. But it's all those other things like their moods and their mannerisms. "Yeah but you are a moody guy as well Art, and you do get on like you have PMT at least twice a week". I guess I love Spanish women the best, or maybe English ones, or maybe Welsh. "Maybe the ones with a pulse perhaps you sad git, you are pathetic".
Numero Four........................
When it hits 445pm on a Friday and I know it's the weekend and I can just sit back and relax. "No you can't Art you perhaps forget you are married and she nags all weekend". "Jeeez do you actually listen, I don't". But yeah, just knowing I have Saturday and Sunday ahead of me makes me so happy. Indeedy !!!
Numero Five.......................
Most people on here that know me will know I have a passion for gambling and now that makes me both happy and sad. The ups and downs of a gambler, I really could write a book on the subject. "Yeah, yeah you will write bugger all you lazy sod". Anyway I mainly bet on a Sunday and only on golf and I am actually pretty good at it. I bet online of course and I do study it a lot. But when it gets to say four holes left and my golfer is a shot clear and he stands behind a six foot putt for birdie my heart is pounding. "Boom, boom, boom". Just creating an atmosphere for you lot, make you feel as if you are there.
I watch as the ball rolls almost in slow motion and drops in the hole. And as he picks the ball up I turn round and smile at the wife as I know I have won my bet. "Yeah you daft bugger but you also let her know you have won and she will now want half, you twat".
Numero Six..............................
Christmas actually makes me happy and it isn't that far away. "You were yapping at those women on the site for talking about Xmas you two faced git". So what it's my review and I can write about whatever I want. I guess Xmas or Christmas is a time of year that brings so many happy childhood memories back. Standing with my selection box watching the kid next door ride his new bike. Eating our small chicken whilst watching them at their window stuffing a massive turkey down them. All huddled round our portable black and white television whilst they watched their state of the art 32 inch colour television. But Xmas on our council estate was a happy time. Those xmas trees, all those pretty lights and the build up to that special day. Tis indeed a time to be merry, tis those simple but happy little pleasures in life. I feel a tear coming to my eye, I have to stop typing. "Bloody big girl you are".
Numero Seven................................
I love music and it makes me really happy as I dance about my office. I can always recall those golden days when Steps were at their peak. How I loved "Summer of Love" and that poster I had of Lisa on my wall. But I enjoy hearing a new song that just grows on me. "Yeah like that wart on yer backside, you really do talk crap you know". I love that Snow Patrol one at the moment "Chasing Cars". Just sends a wee tingle up my neck or maybe that's just the wind from my open window. But I think you will all agree that music can remind you of happy time's right throughout your life. Rod Stewart once sang "Every picture tells a Story". Methinks he really meant every song tells a story. I yet again feel a tear in my eye, jeeez I really am a sentimental drama queen. "Just drama queen Art or maybe just a big Queen".
Numero Eight..............................
Bet you were all waiting on me mentioning red wine or Guinness, Hands up if you guessed I would, ok you can all put your hands back down. Like most I started drinking when I was about 14 and it does make me happy. I actually blame my Doctor who told me it would help my stress. I was in his surgery and he said "Of course one drink is good for you". I call a bottle one drink as it is only the one bottle and I don't mix it with other drinks so it is indeed one drink. I am lucky in that drink always makes me happy and every time I drink I am in a happy mood. "Are you for real Art, this is without doubt probably the biggest load of crap you have written". "Oh shut to hell up, try and be supportive". Anyway a nice wee drink makes an Art a happy wee bunny indeed. "Grey Hare more likes". "Hey that was actually almost funny".
Numero Nine…..........................
I love nothing better than a really good meal and that makes me really happy and full.
Your old mammy was right when she said a way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Funny how she never thought sex would do it, anyway moving on. My wife is a crap cook, in fact she's a crap wife overall and I don't know why I married her. "Perhaps the bump in her stomach you twat". "Oh aye, I forgot about that". Anyway I love a well done steak with peppered sauce and some roast potatoes. Or a real hot chilli concarne as well, god saliva is dripping down the side of my chin. Happiness is most certainly enjoying a really good meal. "Jeeez I am so loving this review, I thought it would be hard at first". "You mean because you are never happy". "No you wally because it's hard to put happiness in words". "Yeah I guess the right 6 numbers would do it much better"
Numero Ten…................................
Friends of course make me happy more than anything. "Jeeez when did we get friends, you do know people in work don't count". "I have loads of friends on Ciao ok". "Sorry that so doesn't count and besides they actually think you are a joke". I am thinking hard here so I can list my friends. "Ok what about all the guys I chat to in the pub, they are my friends". "Nope that doesn't count, they are in the pub and they only chat to you to because you buy them drink in order to join them". I have my family and I have neighbours that are my friends. "The family next door hate you because you are always banging on their wall complaining about the loud music, you know MUSIC that you love". What about my friend from years ago that invited me to his wedding then, got you there didn't I you smug little git. "He only invited you to make up the numbers and because his other mate is in Spain working". Well you have so rained on my parade all through that bit of my review "Are you Happy now". "Very thanks, nice of you to ask". "Anyway I guess that's another review wrapped up, will you wrap it up or will I?". "I guess I will ok, I enjoyed this one". "Hey you forgot to say that writing makes you Happy". "God so I did, will we just put in a Numero 11". "Nah I can't be assed, lets go before the off sales closes"……I thank you all for your read as always. Have a great weekend one and all, keep smiling and stay lucky……A BadCompany Production…..2006……..............
Tis An Art To Being Happy Doncha Think 
