4.3.2.1.(DVD)

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4.3.2.1.(DVD)

From Noel Clarke, writer of KIDULTHOOD and writer/director of ADULTHOOD comes 4.3.2.1., a thriller starring Emma Roberts (HOTEL FOR DOGS) as a lowly s...

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Review of "4.3.2.1.(DVD)"

published 20/08/2013 | BrundleFilm
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"4.3.2.1"

4.3.2.1.(DVD)

4.3.2.1.(DVD)

Director: Noel Clarke and Mark Davis

4 3 2 1 is the latest work from Noel Clarke, of Kidulthood and Adulthood fame. I have quite enjoyed his movies up to date, so I had high hopes for this. It tells the story of four girls who end up intertwined in a diamond heist. 4 girls, 3 days, 2 cities, 1 chance is how it’s billed. The four girls bump into some shady characters and end up with a bag of very valuable diamonds in their possession. Then they all get split up, and the story splits into four chunks, each telling what happens to the girls over the next three days.

Shannon is a bit of an outcast, having a hard time of things — her mum has just walked out and none of her friends really want to know. She ends up with the diamonds and being kidnapped and almost shot by one of the gangsters trying to get their loot back.

Cassandra is the posh girl of the gang, and flies out to New York to meet her internet boyfriend who isn’t everything that he seems. She also has a piano recital to get into a top music university the following year.

Kerrys is a sassy lesbian who ends up house sitting for Cassandra while she is away, and throwing a party. It’s Kerrys’s brother who is responsible for minding the diamonds while the criminals wait for a buyer on the black market.

Finally we have Joanne, the American gal of the group. She works at a 24 hour convenience store whose manager is resposible for moving the diamonds from Kerrys’s brother to the buyers.

If all of that sounds over complicated and contrived, it is. This movie is really poor, both on paper and on screen.

None of the characters are likable or believable. Within about 20 minutes of the 2 hour (yawn) running time, it’s clear that no one in this movie can really act, the writing is poor and 1 dimensional, and the story is not only unbelievable but boring. Are we really supposed to believe that some hood rats on BMX’s from south London would be responsible for selling millions of pounds worth of diamonds on the black market?! I didn’t recognise any of the main 4 actresses, all of them were rubbish. Adam Deacon is in this, doing his usual chatting bare slang y’getme? As does Plan B. Michelle Ryan from Eastenders pops up — she couldn’t act back then, and she can’t do it now either. Kevin Smith (yes, THAT Kevin Smith) pops up as a transatlantic courier. What the hell is he doing here, I have no idea. He must have owed Noel Clarke a favour or something. Sean Pertwee also features as one of the girl’s Dad, but again, what the hell is he doing here?! An actor of his calibre in a bag of rubbish like this. No idea.

The quality of the actual filmmaking is poor — it’s all jumpy editing and dodgy zoom effects. The soundtrack is even worse, with some of the most stock grime beats you’re ever likely to hear. They sound like they were put together on Playstation or something. The director tries to shoehorn in some political nonsense about blood diamonds and the moral implications involved, but it just feels awkward and misjudged. The whole thing is just poor poor poor. I feel like I’ve wasted 2 hours of my life with this. It makes Ill Manors look like Scarface. Avoid this one, definitely.

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Comments on this review

  • mumsymary published 25/08/2013
    well reviewed
  • ilusvm published 21/08/2013
    What a shame. Nice review x
  • xmum2fourx published 20/08/2013
    I hated this too. x
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Product Information : 4.3.2.1.(DVD)

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From Noel Clarke, writer of KIDULTHOOD and writer/director of ADULTHOOD comes 4.3.2.1., a thriller starring Emma Roberts (HOTEL FOR DOGS) as a lowly supermarket check-out girl who stumbles upon a group of thieves who are out to pull off the perfect diamond heist.

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