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karimkha

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Member since:01.01.1970

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EVEN TWINS ARE UNIQUE - LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS

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11.12.2007 (30.10.2008)

Advantages:
You learn more about me and my twin, and how life has changed us .

Disadvantages:
You cannot change the past, just the future .

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This is the last review I am writing here in the UK, before going home, so l hope you will like it. I thought that before I go, I should write one last review to bring my total reviews up to 30; at the same time l thought it was time to answer some questions about myself and my twin sister, showing how different we are.

It was always me and my decisions, ever since I was a little girl; I always felt that I acted older than my age in many ways. I even used to be happy to look older, but not now! These days I always want to look and act younger, maybe to make up for the lost years. Strange how people change over the years!

My parents always treated me differently than my sister. I think now, that maybe this was because she was like others our age: playing with toys, eating sweets, playing on the swings; while I was the one who helped my mum with the house work, who sat with my dad and asked him about his long hard day, and who was always the one who welcomed him home when he returned. I wasn't complaining, though. Really, I was very happy playing the mother role. I enjoyed looking after my sister, helping my mum; even preparing food from the time I was as young as six years old!

My sister and I might be twins but we are completely different, both inside and outside. My mum used to dress us the same, but I always hated that. I wanted to be myself; to have my own personality. I didn't like to be a copy of anyone....even my own sister. Even twins have unique personalities!


Life as babies

My mum has told me that she was in labour for 14 hours when we were born. She explained how that experience was very difficult to her - as all the women in the world must do, she felt that she was going to die! I'm not sure if they had ultrasound scanning systems to know if a pregnant woman is going to have more than one baby at that time, but my mum didn't know. When she had delivered the first baby she thought, "At last, it's all over!" until another little head popped up - and that was a real shock . . . I am still not sure if it was a good shock or a bad one!

Anyway one of these babies wasn't very well. She swallowed a lot of water and inhaled mostly into her lungs so she turned blue and she was as still as a stick: everyone presumed she was dead! After much hard work and trying by the doctors and nurses, however, the baby's face turned red and moved. She opened her eyes and looked at everyone as if she was saying hello to everyone! The baby (myself) was saved!

My parents had given the first girl a name: they called her Donna. They didn't name the other girl until she "came back to life" as they claimed. My dad thought I was so pretty, with such beautiful eyes, that he wanted to name me Bella! Thank God he didn't! Thus, although I was named Ami, sometimes he called me "Bella" (beautiful)!

Even as little babies we looked different: I was smaller, she was the chubby one! Our behavior was also different. Even our sleeping patterns differed. Donna was an active baby who kept every one occupied. She never slept at night - always demanding. I was the quiet, satisfied baby; even sleeping most of the day. I guess I was a lazy baby!

Life as children

Donna was an active child with a lot to do and no time! She liked to play all day, was very alert and moved a lot. Donna smiled at everyone. She was very friendly. All the while, I was that quiet, gentle child, who was afraid of strangers and was very shy.

Naturally, at school age, we went to the same school. What I hated most about that time was people comparing us. When they learned that we were twins, I hated them asking why we didn't look the same! The moment she entered school she made a big circle of friends; meanwhile, I was crying my eyes out missing my parents ("How pathetic!" you would be right in thinking!).

To make a hard situation even harder, we sat next to each other in the same class. Every teacher who came to the class asked us if we were related (maybe we looked like sisters); when he knew we were twins, he raised his eyebrows!

Donna was a very popular person in the school. Everyone wanted to be friends with her: she talked to anyone and everyone. I was very picky. l chose carefully to whom I talked and why! So although I didn't have many friends, I was very faithful to the friends I had. Getting to know new people was always a challenge for me as I was a very shy person, who was easily offended for any reason.

Life as teenagers

Our difference gap just seemed to get bigger and bigger.

Donna was a very colourful and loud girl, liking very loud music, wearing lots of heavy make up. She dressed differently. She was that girl to whom everyone dreamed of talking; a very bubbly, attractive girl with a dominating personality: every boy in the town wanted to talk to her. As a part of our tradition, and because our dad was old fashioned and strict in many ways, we were not allowed to have any contact with boys whatsoever - we were even sent to a girls' school to avoid such contact. This wasn't appealing to Donna and as a forbidden thing to do she decided to break the family law! And you can guess what did she do? She talked to her friend's brother (he was very keen on her) for the first time. Of course, at the time, I felt that she had done the biggest sin in her life!

I was still a quite shy teenager, who dressed sensibly, with no makeup and with a very quiet voice. Sometimes, I think the only thing that I missed out in being considered to be a geek was that I didn't wear glasses! My shyness always was a problem for me. I couldn't talk to anyone without blushing. Sometimes when people noticed and started to tease me, or sometimes to bully me, it became Donna's turn to help me. She always stood by me. With her strong personality she was my defender and always looked after me.

When she was in trouble, she always came to me, asking me to help her and advise her. We were best friends, even though I wasn't too happy about some of her actions. When she broke the family law, for my normal self, I thought like a nun and started to warn her. Once I threatened to tell mum, but she was the smartest here. She turned the tables against me and blackmailed me in turn. Donna said she would tell our mum about what I wrote in my diary about our neighbor who was in the army (as I had fancied him for ages). "So you are not so perfect after all," I still remember her saying. I was so scared, the ideal girl (me) was not that perfect, and I started to worry about what she might say.

To keep my own big secret safe I had to cover for her while she was going out with that boy who later became her husband. Now she has had 2 kids with him. Funny how her instinct drove her to him; he is her beloved husband and her other half, and here she is living "happily ever after" with him.

As for me, while I kept on dreaming, I always found my dad to be my idol and always dreamt of my perfect husband (an exact replica of my dad). Later in life, this is something which I have come to realise is an impossible dream which can not be real.

Life as adults

I have never liked routine; I don't like to be tied down. I love my freedom, so after finishing college, I travelled a lot to break free from the family's tight strings and feel my freedom. When I realised that I couldn't be flying forever and should settle down, I became a nursery teacher. It was the last thing I would ever have wanted to do, but by that time I liked my job. I loved the children although sometimes they have given me headaches; but they were still so sweet.

My sister finished the college and stayed at home. She never bothered to work, never liking the idea of being a working woman; she always wanted to be a house wife. Even though her husband would have never minded her working, she preferred to be the lady of leisure!
My current life choice and my sister now

Donna is a mother of two - a boy, Sámi, and a girl, Lucita - both very adorable and lovely kids, although I haven't yet had the chance to see them personally. So this journey home will be my first time ever to see them. She is more settled now. She loves her family to bits! She has changed a lot - totally the opposite of her former self - yes, she is the one who is wearing the glasses now!

When I arrived to the UK, it was a good opportunity to strengthen my personality. It has given me more experience in dealing with people. I'm faster now, less worried (but still blushing) when talking to a man - some things never change! After long years in the UK, I have decided to go home for many reasons, but mainly for my parents. I feel that no wealth and fortune in the world can replace them. I felt this especially when my dad was ill; you can make money easily but you can't invent new parents, so I have made up my mind and I'm sticking to it.

By the time I post this review, very little time is left here in the UK. As the time is passing I'm getting very excited at the thought of finally going to see my family! And I can't wait to hold Lucita and Sámi in my arms! I am having my first Christmas at home for years.

I have made my decision . . . . Goodbye, England! Thanks for everything . . . . .

Merry Christmas, everyone, and Happy New Year!

Thanks for reading


© Karimkha . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 2007

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Comments about this review »

kevin121 16.05.2010 17:46

A wonderful read!

Suavilous 14.05.2010 16:06

Reviews get better and better x

Borg 28.12.2009 19:31

Another great review.

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Review Ratings »

This review of 5 Life Changing Events in my Life has been rated:

"exceptional" by (56%):

  1. kevin121
  2. Suavilous
  3. Borg

and 110 other members

"very helpful" by (44%):

  1. paulpry118
  2. CezaWeza
  3. supersonic75

and 87 other members

The overall rating of a review is different from a simple average of all individual ratings.