There wasn't really a sense of foreboding, but on the fairly isolated journey from Wiveliscombe to skirt in and around the eastern edge of Exmoor National Park to join the A39 near Williton the thought went through my mind that the car might malfunction. After reaching a junction on the B3188, stopping to verify the location, the sign pointed to Elworthy and the rustic backwoods of Stogumber, and on attempting to continue, the car juddered, the clutch pedal having gone to the floor with the engine still running but no response, the link between operator and machine apparently having been severed, somewhere which was beyond my investigation and understanding. This was the start of a twenty four hour period that is really horribile dictu. However, being stranded at a crossroads on the edge of the National Park, the familiar sign set in stone just a few yards above me, initially gave me a false illusion of security. My thoughts went back to Lyme Regis just two years ago when the same thing happened and the kind people from Fanum House took me home. The clutch ratchet is known to be a problem, but surely not again after such a short time? After sitting for a few minutes and considering the options, it was evident that my position was rather perilous as traffic was coming down the hill at quite a pace, which unfortunately terminated in the obstacle containing me at the bottom. In the time sat waiting for the patrolman about forty vehicles passed me obviously stranded, with the hazards flashing and the response was quite interesting. Three people stopped to asked if assistance was needed, one of which was female. The response from others of that gender was to slow down in order to ascertain if it was another of their kind, once noting that it was the opposite sex, they sped away. Who would blame them, it was gone 9pm on a fairly isolated stretch of road, but at least they were prepared to show compassion to their 'species', which was a source of mental comfort with no feelings of envy or dented self esteem attached, helping me to disregard the situation as once again confirming the presence of a perceived general fear, distrust and disdain of men. It made me think though, of whether I would feel happy to approach a woman who was in a similar situation to me. Very probably, not, although perhaps it would depend on how beggarly and shabby the image would appear after a few days walking, if such was the case.
The confounded thing that is usually close at hand but seldom used brought a response in just under an hour, once again confirming the remarkable cloning process that appears to homogenize the character of AA patrolmen.
Just before moving on, my conversation with the remote AA representative proved to be of significance later. She asked me as to the nature of the problem, and on replying that it was 'a clutch problem', she also asked if the pedal had 'gone to the floor' to which I replied in the affirmative.
After a brief investigation the patrolman announced that the problem was a broken clutch ratchet and that there was no conceivable roadside repair. Mentioning the antecedents, being unconvinced but also aware that that when this was renewed the clutch and plate were similarly replaced, the reply received was that it is a known problem. 'Please can you take me home'; there was no alternative offered at this point. Being towed on a bar is worse that walking in dense mist, you are being propelled forward at speed with no understanding of the terrain, unless possibly you know the road intimately, the slight delay in reaction meaning that the brakes and bends are experienced before you can react accordingly to them as indicated by the leading vehicle, leaving you rather shaken and stirred at the end of the experience, a feeling that you've got somewhere by an intermittent pull-push motion, but don't know really know where. The patrolmen are instructed in 'relay prevention'. The company has been slimmed down with many redundancies but the number of members continues to rise. Apparently on that night, patrols were over subscribed, so before we reached the network relay point we pulled over into a layby where the proposal was that the car could be repaired locally and the AA would not only put me up in a hotel but reimburse the labour costs of the repair, also adding some statements that later proved to be unverified and indeed unverifiable. I was very dubious and sceptical, firstly that it was the ratchet and what if they couldn't obtain one. The reply was that 'it is a commonly needed part they will probably have it done by mid-morning and you will be on your way' Neither of these statement could be substantiated at that point. The word 'hotel' also seemed to be a euphemistic preference. This assured certainty of outcome appeared to good to be true. So it was. If there was a possibility it was the ratchet and they would fix it promptly not being a lengthy job that would have been advantageous for a number of reasons, so somewhat reluctantly there was agreement and we proceeded to South West Motors (SWM). Of course the hotel turned out to be the commodious Travelodge at Taunton Deane, sorry, that should be Premier Inn to be precise, the current slogan being 'everything's premier but the price'. Well, you get a bed, bathroom with a television and (very) light refreshment facilities magnanimously thrown in. The dividing walls between adjacent bed-sits (sorry, I forgot to mention that there was a chair as well) are either wafer thin or not sound proofed so if the adjacent occupier has a hearing problem and apparently many of the younger generation suffer from that malady due to the noise trauma of contemporary music then ear plugs are the only remedy. I could make out nearly every word being broadcast in the next room. On the positive side it was spotlessly clean, the only caveat being that I didn't have my glasses on at that point. Up to this point my patrolman had looked after me impeccably and I thanked him for his help before he left the motel.
It was now approaching midnight but 'the cool kindliness of sheets, that soon Smooth away trouble' did not seem inviting. Reading for a while would have been useful but it was only a choice between 'The Antiquities of Dartmoor' bible vol.II and a prominently placed Gideon Bible, which aroused my curiosity, that this quaint fashion continues in the largely post Christian practising society of the United Kingdom. I was very amused on opening the front cover of this copy to find that it was a signed and very limited edition as neatly inside the front cover had been written 'All the best, God'. On reading through the list of suitable passages for those so afflicted, none of them appeared to relate to the contemporary situation of being stranded in an almost featureless building placed on a similarly characterless transit park, courtesy of an organisation which was corporately the twentieth largest in the UK. There appeared to be no personal human element apart from my friendly patrolman and he had vanished into the night air, criss-crossing the roads in search of marooned motoring victims. Maybe it's time that someone performed an updating revision on the categories and contents.
After being woken before seven to the pleasure of a commercial radio station coming through the walls with crystal clarity, my feeling was to make an exit with haste. On waking though I noticed that due to the bed head being attached to the wall the divan had strayed from it some distance into the middle of the room during the night, not apparently being fixed in any way. It was a bit disconcerting that the amount of movement which occurred during the night produced this result, but the logical reasoning for this situation must be that instantly moveable beds allow staff to make quick checks for bombs placed under them, or worse, the inconvenience to the sleeper being just a minor factor. On contacting SWM at nine, they did not come to collect me until 10:30, having been told initially that an employee coming to meet an insurance assessor at their compound would take me back, but further phone calls proved that this was not to be the case. This procedure had previously been acknowledged by the patrolman. South West Motors did have a waiting room, which was propitious considering I didn't leave until nearly four o'clock with the car still unrepaired. During this period I was treated with courtesy by the staff of the garage, but undercurrents were to develop as the day progressed, which were all really due to the AA attempting to economise on their processes, without accurate diagnosis of the fault meaning that the customer's interest came secondary and towards the end of the day sitting in the waiting room feelings of manipulation, or even victimisation were evident.
They obtained the part before midday but on being informed that 'there were three cars in front of me', my sense of foreboding increased as to whether I would leave with the car that day. At around 1:30 the information was received that that problem was not the ratchet but the clutch. This and the plate were replaced just over two year ago, surely not. 'Do you ride the pedal?'; 'No' was the reply; 'That's what people say, but they do'. They would not be able to investigate and repair it today, but I was told that the ratchet would have to be paid for. On suggesting that the AA should now relay me home they said that they will contact them. Well nothing happened for a while until I started asking if they had phoned them, but they said that 'they couldn't get a reply' At this point I realised that some delaying tactics may amount to further manipulation as the working day was rapidly moving towards closure and rang the AA myself. On telling the male operative the current state of affairs and saying that on account of being stranded in their care will they now please relay me home, his manner which there was detectable from the outset, a latent hostility but he became defensive and hostile, even arguing about the initial diagnosis of the fault saying that 'I had said that it was the clutch ratchet'. Well, firstly that was not the case and secondly it was up to the patrolman as the representative of the service to make the diagnosis, as from that point I was in their professional care. He realised that he had no live ammunition in this sorry state of affairs, repeating three times very aggressively that 'we'll take you home but we're not taking you anywhere else'!!. Where did he think I was going to propose? Finally he said 'it's two now, someone will be with you by four'. On informing the staff of SWM the current situation, I was called to the desk some minutes later as they 'required some details'. I was handed an invoice for fitting the ratchet to the vehicle, a part which was not required although they attempted to shadily cover themselves by stating 'it had the wrong one fitted', even though it wasn't at fault! On doing a quick analysis of the situation, my only interest was to get out of the place in one piece. They had come to collect me and had obtained a part. The employees who who have performed these services have to be remunerated. They were also victims of the AA, how else were they to cover their costs? What they had done was underhand but I just paid it and waited for redemption. This came just before four and was relayed home very efficiently and quickly by two people. On e of them had another patrolman in his care as his own vehicle had broken down. One of them was talkative, in marked contrast to the disagreeable bickerer the phone, in a very affable way having a congenial sociable manner (but I didn't feel envious), when not chatting to me, talking to colleagues and family on the phone. and I learned a bit more about the AA. Many of the patrolmen are young with families, so on asking him about the school-time holidays probably not only being the busiest period but also the only time to take a break themselves, the response I got was that they have to be booked way in advance and I got the feeling that the situation is something of a nightmare. He had his booked until 2010. I was related a few rescue stories on of which was a female who was attempting to move her husband's car on their driveway but couldn't 'get any gears'. On getting into it and produced the necessary results without incident, she witnessed the process and it transpired she had never driven a car with a clutch before, only an automatic. My response being, what proportion of call-outs are human error as opposed to failure of the car's systems?, the reply was that an increasing number appear to be the former. On admitting to twice locking in the keys and once putting in the wrong fuel I suggested that the next time they receive a distress call from me, they will probably bring two doctors. Perhaps they should stigmatise those who make imbecilic error by retaining the yellow call-out vehicles and white coats for the operatives, with distinguishing livery for those who have genuinely broken down.
So, a brief summing up. The AA paid for the labour costs of fitting the ratchet very promptly as that was in their words, 'what had been agreed' Obviously this together with 'hotel' costs meant that they were disadvantaged by their policy of relay prevention. I paid for a part that the vehicle didn't require. In future I will think very carefully about being manipulated by the AA in this manner and should a call-out arise, will be very cautious and equivocal about the the nature of the problem perhaps being suitable vague that it's anterior or posterior or as someone helpfully suggested 'just say it won't go'. Oh, I forgot to mention the source of the problem, the clutch forks had split. Just one final thought. Businesses such as the AA and SWM surely must realise that in the age of the internet they cannot get away with this sloppy, botched and mediocre service because the result of such occurrences will be posted by determined people for everyone to see.