Back after a very long absence! Cant believe I've only written one review in nearly 2 years! Anyway ...
Back after a very long absence! Cant believe I've only written one review in nearly 2 years! Anyway back now and hope to be reading, rating and writing lots!
Member since:16.09.2001
Reviews:160
Members who trust:49
I finally got it! a charity shop buy admittedly but this book has finally found its way into my possession and read rather rapidly!
There could be a problem with writing about this book, the danger being that it would be really easy to write about what's in the book and to expand on the subject rather than look at the book as a whole. I will endeavour to look at the book as a whole but please feel free to leave a comment if you feel i don't.
A child called it is the memoirs of Dave Pelzer who recounts his life until he is 4 years old. His was a nice normal all american family. It consisted of his mother Catherine, fire-fighter dad, Stephen and his brothers Ronald and Stan. They are one happy loved-up family, David describes how happy the major holidays were, the holidays and trips and how he used to watch his parents prepare drinks and dance cheek to cheek.
Then things began to change, Dave tells us that he may have been a loud child or the one that always got caught being up to no good! During this time his Mothers behaviour began to change, she would lie on the sofa all day not getting dressed, screaming at the children and forcing dave to stand facing a mirror for hours at a time, whilst still pretending to be a happy wife and family when dave's Dad comes home. Now the violence starts, beatings, punching,
a dislocated shoulder and worse. from now on the dehumanisation process starts, dave is forced to steal food, towards the end from the dogs bowl as mother feeds him, on average, every three days, he is addressed as 'the boy', not allowed to look at or speak to anybody or to be a part of the family. The astonishing thing is, that his Dad now knows what is happening, rather than standing up to his wife, he goes along with it, trying to sneak Dave bits of food.
The rest of the story is a litany of the dreadful experiences that Dave has to go through, tortures that you or i couldn't begin to imagine or comprehend anyone doing. I am aware that kids read this site so I'm going to avoid listing some of the more graphic stuff that happens. In fact, doesn't stop happening. Dave is not just dehumanised by his Mother but also by his older brothers who are allowed to beat and kick him, but also by Russell his youngest brother who makes up stories just to get his brother punished.. In the end I think his father has also fallen prey to this as he no longer tries to help, and eventually leaves the family leaving Dave behind.
Of course people do notice what is going on, but his Mother is a master at lying and every social worker at the door results in another beating for Dave, who learns not to say anything is going on or happening. Dave learns to shut himself down when dealing with the abuse, to be replaced intermittently with a deep hatred, but learns quickly to keep it under control.
Interestingly the book actually starts with the conclusion or the end to this story, there is no 'thrilling' or 'sensationalist' end to his abuse, I would like to think Pelzer planned it this way, he's not racing towards to escape, but rather just leads us along the path to the end. His writing style itself is not designed to shock us or make us feel sympathetic, perhaps its shock value is in the way he starkly presents the facts of what happened to him and tells us exactly what he was feeling, no 'sexing' it up, as it where. The shocking part for me is the fact that he himself doesn't try to escape or tell anybody what's going on , leaving me wondering why this is so, the person I also get most angry at is not his Mother who's carrying out the abuse but at his Father who allows this to continue and in the end leaves him to his fate. We could, of course, spend hours theorising as to why his Mother did this but we get no hint at all. Of course it could be said that Pelzer is exorcising his ghosts, having a cathartic reason for writing this book, I disagree, to me this book does what I believe his reasons to be, to let us know what goes on behind closed doors, to tell us how readily we ignore what is happening, showing us that sometimes there is no clear cut reasons for abuse or no explanations as to how it starts, and most of all it is happening anywhere, even in what appears to be happy, settled homes.
The tale itself is quite small and a good quarter of the book is taken up with other narratives. In one chapter he describes going back to the scene of his holidays taking his own son with him, the richness and the colour in his words are in complete contrast to his other memories in the book. There are also Afterwords by Dave Pelzer and Steven Ziegler, the teacher who called the authorities. Pelzer talks about the issue of child abuse in the world today, and hopes that his book will enable people to face up to the fact that child abuse may be happening in as many as 1 in 5 children may be being abused in the US today.
The last two chapters in the book are extracts from his second book, The Lost Boy, Pelzer's life from ages 12 to 18 and A Man Called Dave, his journey into adulthood. I'm not going to talk about them as they are separate books, but needless to say I was shocked by what happens in the first chapter of The Lost Boy and its definitely on my list of must have's for Christmas.
I encountered lots of emotions during this book, hate, sympathy, sorrow, despair and downright anger and that was the way I was feeling! We all know that it exists but this book makes us face up to it, in a stark way that may make us feel uncomfortable, child abuse is still something we are still sweeping under the carpet, My God, donkey sanctuaries get more charity money than any child charities do. We know we should all do something about it, but have we got the guts to do so? Please go to www.nspcc.org.uk and do what you can.
This book touched me in ways that I never knew existed, a must read for everybody.
Publisher: Orion Media, 5 Upper St, St Martin?s Lane, London Price: £5.99 ISBN: 0-75283-750-8
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Well set and informative review. You capture the essence of what the book portrays.
lilkat 24.02.2004 22:20
ive read this book and the lost boy, just about to start a man named dave and cant wait. hoping to find out some answers regarding his mother. its a sad fact that this amount of abuse can be allowed to happen, and i totally agree with you that i was most angry at his father for standing by. gr8 review :)
eve6kicksass 18.12.2003 14:39
Now that sounds like an outstanding book....with an outstanding op here to back it up,,,,Cheers...Chris xxx
Advantages: The book is excellent - although the story being told of systematic physical and mental child abuse is hardly advantageous Disadvantages: 8 years of tourture
Advantages: The way this young boy copes with the abuse is inspiring Disadvantages: To find out the extent to which an innocent young child can be abused
Dec 1st, 2003
exceptional by (9%):
very helpful by (91%):
