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kittyfluff

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ALPHABETASTICO!!

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14.04.2005

Advantages:
My favourite and not so favourite things !

Disadvantages:
Just what is X going to be .  .  .  .

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I thought that I would have a go at this challenge,as I'm sure I can come up with something for every letter of the alphabet that is me related.
Although I am now panicking what X is going to be.But I will rack my brains and you shall find out!
Let the racking commence!!!

A is for.....

Alice Cooper,my favourite singer of all time.I could go on for days about him,but I just love his uniqueness and style of rock.Who else has gallows on stage with them? Hooray!
It is also for Auntie Laura.This is what I am known as to my nephew Josh.He is five and has just discovered the art of arguing.
My sister hates leaving me with him,as I wind him up and then he gets told off for being naughty. He does have a really anal habit of chanting,Auntie Laura over and over.I love him to bits though.
He proudly declared the other day that Auntie Laura has a bum on her tummy.It in fact was my cleavage.He insisted that I do my zip up right away.Puritan child!

B is for....

Boredom.I can't stand being bored! I get all twitchy and just can't sit still. Especially if it's required of me.I get especially bored at training days,Weddings and films that I don't like.
I will fiddle like hell,my hair,my earrings,my finger nails. I also shift from cheek to cheek constantly.It's best not to sit near me when I'm bored.
Biscuits as well.I love Digestive biscuits.It has to be the plain ones though,or the ones smeared in dark chocolate at a push.I also love the honking great big Cookie Jar cookies,which in my eyes is just an Americanism for biscuit.The double chocolate ones are the most superior.

C is for....

Claire who is my sister.She has turned 31 and is pregnant with her second child. We get on fairly well.We have had our drunken moments when she wanted to have a fight with me.
As she is built like a Swan Vesta I declined on the grounds that I would kick her Arse.
We are quite similar in our ways,although she is rather neurotic.We look nothing at all alike either.So questions have been raised whether I was adopted or not...haha.
It is also for Cat.I love my Cat,even though the bitch punched me in the eye the other day.I wanted to give her a kitty kiss and she was having none of it. She also enjoys my singing.I made her fall off of the bed once when I broke into song.I don't think she likes Elvis.
C is also for Chris.My poor ,suffering boyfriend of just over six years.We are engaged,so it should be fiancee really. He's great,the total opposite of me,he's calm and chilled out and hardly ever loses his temper. Apart from when I bash him round the head with something repeatedly to get his attention.
Although he won't argue,which is annoying.Sometimes I want a good row and he just won't bite.He knows me too well by now,and will just ignore me.This just enrages me even more!
I argue with the cat instead...and she usually wins.

D is for...

Duck! My little soft friend for life,whom I won't go on about.But I love him and I love sniffing him.
D is also for Derek.He is my Daddyo.He is sixty years old and a bit of a misery guts really.Although he does have a good sense of humour when he is'nt being Victor Meldrew.He has branded me 'Not Sharp' before,so he is right about something ,haha.I also like calling him Derek,instead of Dad. I do like the odd formality!
Disco Dancing.If you're not John Travolta then it should'nt be done! It makes me cringe.Grown men and Women prancing around in Lycra grinning wildly.It's just not right!!

E is For...

Egg white.Oh Lord,I can feel the sick rising in my throat.The dreaded albumen.I hate it.Why can't chickens lay eggs without it?Maybe if they strained it out quicker it

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My Lovely Duck!
would all be yellow. I used to have boiled eggs as a child and would sit there pedantically picking every piece of white egg off of the spoon.
E xtra Sensory Perception.I just really wish I had this.It would be great to have almost a super human power.I could wear a costume and everything.It must have a cape though.You can't beat a nice cape!

F is for....

Fanny.Not what you think you foul minded lot! Unless you are a Yank,then it would be my bottom. It is the nickname of one of my best friends Stef. She is 21 and we used to work together. When we first met we really hated each other. I thought she was stuck up and she thought I was gobby.
Then we got talking and found out that we had so much in common! She now has a baby called Sean,and has asked am and Chris to be Godparents to him. It's in a couple of weeks time and we have to get up at the front and do some sort of indoctrination chant. I may mime as I'm not religious!
Fluff,I really like that word.All of those fffff's.

G is for.....

Gladiators! I used to love that programme.It used to be on ITV,Saturday tea time. I would sit in front of the telly and pretend to have a huge foam finger and wave it about. Chris used to be a bodybuilder and was going to audition for it once,but got scared and did'nt in the end.
My favourite Gladiator was Warrior.I used to really fancy him.I think my favourite female one was Falcon.She kicked fanny! She also had two haircuts at the same tim.Also known as a Mullet.
Grapefruit,it makes my face suck in as it is just so bitter,but I love the pink variety smothered in sugar.

H is for....

Hair of any description really.The hair on my head never ever seems to do what it should.It needs hair straightening stuff and then has to have the water sucked out via straightening irons. Then it dares to have split ends and require cutting by a hairdresser every six weeks!
Who then will proceed to moan about it's condition whilst chewing a piece of gum in your ear.Yes well,its been peroxided,ammoniad,burnt,knotted.What do you bleeding expect!!??
And heaven help me if there's a drop of moisture in the air.It takes on a life of its own and becomes a dandelion clock.Children could blow on it to tell the time.
Other..ahem hair also that appears to pop up anywhere else where it's not generally wanted.Primping,plucking,preening and poking.Ugh..A mono brow or not a mono brow.That is the question!

I is for....

Itching.Having eczema I sometimes itch until my skin is red raw and bleeds.It does'nt help that my nails are a ridiculous length either.I often itch during my sleep and they act like miniature scythes.Sharding away lumps of flesh as I slumber.

J is for....

Is for Jugular Vein.I really am a big girls blouse when it comes to thinking about veins,and muscles and generally what is in my body and how it works. It just makes me feel all....well queer really. I just want to faint thinking about my own internal organs.
Although I do love watching a good operation on the television.

K is for....

Kinder Bueno.My word I love that chocolatey bar! Crispy wafer and in the middle a creamy,hazel nut filling.They are 40p for one and you get two wafers in a pack.My mouth has now started to water just at the thought of munching on one...mmmmmm

L is for....

Laura,which is me! Around 5 '4,size 12.Long black hair (all my own colour,not!).Well my hair is mid brown I think,but my eyebrows and eyes are a really dark hazel colour.So it all matches quite well except when the blasted roots come through!
I pretty much always wear black and get accused of being a Goth.
Yeah label me,I like it.I also love wearing ridiculous footwear,I have a lovley pair of shin scraping New Rock boots.They are just fabulous.My favourite colour is purple, but slut Red is not without it's charms.I also have a cushion fixation.I love those cushions man!

M...is for

Minty chewing gum.I always chew chewing gum.There are several packets dotted around me.One in my coat pocket,my bag,the car.I just can't stand my breath tasting of anything nasty.I don't mind it smelling,I mean if you get too close to me,it's your problem!
It also curbs the smoking when I'm in a stupid non smoking place. My favourite variety is orbit spearmint.I prefer the sticks to the little cube things.And it has to be sugar free,I don't want holes in my toothy pegs.

N...is for

New Rock Boots.I have a pair of these as mentioned above. They cost £110,not that I paid for them as they were an 18th birthday present.I am now knocking 23 and they are still not broken in properly.
They are knee height with a row of silver buckles up each side.They have a shiny metal heel and a blunt toe cut off.Black in colour of course.They are just so cool! No one tends to get near your feet when you're wearing them.They are in a lady like size 4,as I have dinky stub feet.I got them from Attitude clothing if anyone is interested.Don't go to Camden and buy them.You'll be ripped off!

O is for....

Orange Out Gang.This is how one of my friends once pronounced Orangutang.It being the answer to a trivial pursuit question.
No it's not Orangutang.Well thats not what it says on this card anyway! This makes me absouloutely die.So now if we see one it's called an Orang Out Gang.

P is for....

Pickled Onions! Oh yum,those little silver ones,I could eat a jar of those babies! The only problem is that they seem to be pickled in some sort of bile vinegar.So not only does your breath smell of onionyness,but you can actually feel the acid rising back out of your stomach.
But it's worth it...mmm
Pubic Hair.Sorry,but I just have to ask,what is the point? It doesnt actually have a function does it? It does'nt offer any sort of genital or underarm protection.Unless yours is made from concereet,or a steel based fibre! It also grows so bloody quickly.You pluck and shave and primp,and the next day it's back again.Sharding it's way through your skin like a fanny beard.
There is just nothing worse than having an untidy bush!

Q is for....

The Queen.Bless her...does'nt she look good for her age? Yeah well she has'nt had to do a days work in her life!! Just letched off of the rest of us,like a giant Regina tick.
What I propose we do with the entire Royal family,is shoot them and stuff them.Well hunting seems to be OK by them,so lets see how they like it.
I would then put them on display in Buckingham Palace in glass cages.And charge people to see them.This would be Britains biggest tourist attraction.And such low maintanence.
Change their clothes every couple of months,embalm them once a week,and Bob's your Uncle!

R is for....

Runkers.Haha.This is quite disgusting.But this is kitty slang for having a loose bowel (the shits).Or as my cat sometimes gets little clags of poo stuck in her bum fur.
We also call those runkers.So her nickname is Colnoel Runkers.I had to clip a particularly large one away the other day.Chris was up the mewing end tepting her with food,and I was up the poo end,clipping away the runkers. Lovely jobs I get! She is just too damn lazy to lick herself clean. And my cat is not being seen to have runkers!

S is for....

Sleeping.My favourite thing of all time is sleeping. I wish my bed had wheels and a motor.I would do everything in it if I could. I love being curled up,and warm with Duck in bed.It is better when Chris has got out of it,I can then assume the star position then.
This requires the whole mattress.
I think what makes my bed great is that it is black wrought iron.And it has a gothic arch as a headboard and fleur de leys as bedknobs.Chris has discovered that they are quite pointy,on many late night trips to the bathroom.Many a time his tackle have been wrapped around them.
I also got a new luxury,pocket sprung mattress in January.Oh my Sweet Lord,it is beautiful.So plump and firm.Like my good self.
It's around a foot deep,which I thought would be a problem for the cat to jump onto.Well I need'nt have worried! She's such a bed hogger!

T is for....

The A team. This is a real chilhood memory for me.I used to love this,well I still do actually. I think it was on a Saturday afternoon.I used to be glued to the somewhat ridiculous storylines.
I had all of the action figures as well! I still have a MR T money box somewhere! Ba Baracus was my favorite character.'I ain't gettin on no damn plane fool!'
What a charmer! And his head should have scraped the floor with all that gold! And that feathery earring,and mohican. They could make anything in the back of the van. And still no one ever got hurt...well if you use cabagges instead of guns it's no wonder!

U is for....

Umbrellas.The small handbag size ones I don't have a problem with.It's the ones that usually men use.The Huge ones that look like they could keep ten people dry in a hurricane. Perhaps they think it reflects the size of their manhood.
Anyway they run past you on the high street,with their Stupid golfing umbrellas and lacerate your face with it's enormous spokes.I have had this several times,and have been many a time ignored by the offender after yelling at them. They will know when they look at their umber to fold it up.As there will be a lump of my flesh and a clump of black hair hanging from it.

V is for...

Vases.I have a vase thing.I do like having flowers in them,but I like them without.I have a special Poole Vase that isnt allowed flowers in it.I don't want to ruin it! It has some peacock feathers in it instead.
My Poole vase is called volcano.And is Red,orange and blue blobby things.I also have a lovley cut glass purple one.Vase that is!

W is for...

Ugh..windy weather.Being British I feel I have to talk about it! I would rather have ten feet of snow,or a good storm than wind.It's just so dishelvelling! You do your hair,get yourself looking all nice and then woosh! One step out of the door and all that work has gone!
There is not enough hairspray in this world that sets hard enough that will keep your style. It also blows you all over the pavement,and you can't see where youre going..and I just hate it!

X is for...

Xerox.As this is the only thing that I could think of that is relevant to me.Why do Americans call photocopying Xerox? I am hoping that someone can help me out on this one.I know its a brand ,and thats about it!

Y is for....

Yellow Gold.As it really does'nt suit me.I look like an Argos model when I wear it. So I stick to white Gold,which is actually yellow Gold that has been plated with Rodium,Sterling Silver,and I am yet to have a piece of platinum.
I think it clashes with my black hair and oh so pale skin.As My other half has blond hair and blue eyes,and his gold bling really suits him!
The most Gold and silver that I have ever seen was in Egypt on holiday,last year.Some of the jewellery there was just amazing! Let's just say that the credit cards took a bit of a bashing! Our hotel even had its own jewellery shop!

Z is for...

Phew! I am finally here the very last letter of my alphabet of rablings! My Z is going to be Zeppelin.Ever since seeing that awful footage of the Hindenberg crashing in a ball of flames. I have been terrified of them.
Even modern day airships.If I ever see one I have to run for cover.They are so eerie,and silent.Creeping up on me ,gently puffing and pooping up on me in the sky. They should be banned,for being scary!

And that is the end of my A-Z which has been a draft for two weeks nearly!

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Comments about this review »

L0BSTER_QUADRILLE 18.08.2005 16:05

Your sisters kid sounds funny. Philippa. x

salem_witch 08.08.2005 12:24

Ahh I love the picture of Amber. I know you read my letter to my cats so you know Tom was similar. My sister recently got a British Shorthair just like him. And she called it Amber. Spooky! Oh and my boyfriend is called Chris as well...

helenmayclark 07.06.2005 15:54

Mmm picked onions - my fave! Might try this too now. Helen

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This review of A-Z for Members Challenges has been rated:

"very helpful" by (80%):

  1. phill1p
  2. giantpanda21
  3. fabulous_girl

and 52 other members

The overall rating of a review is different from a simple average of all individual ratings.