Alfa Romeo 156 2.0 JTS Selespeed Lusso

Author's product rating:   

Safety	Good
Comfort	Satisfactory
Road Handling	Good
Looks	Excellent
Features	Good

Advantages:	Interesting and Different Surprise Package
Disadvantages:	Just Not Sure About that 'Box

Recommend to potential buyers:

yes

Full review

Every now and then someone dares to "think outside the box". Someone dares to come up with something that will be immeasurably better than what went before, by simply combining 2 seemingly incompatible technologies.

We see it all the time; who would have thought a mobile phone and a camera would go together? Not me, I thought it was just a silly fad that would never catch on. Shows what I know?

But then there are some almightily cock ups. Imagine the excitement in the early 90's when someone said "wouldn't it be handy if you could take your home phone with you so you can call your boss from a Little Chef at the side of the A1"?

That's how Rabbit Telecom was born. By combining a cordless telephone handset from your home with a degree of mobility, you could simply keep the phone with so you could make a call wherever you saw the "Rabbit" sign.

Only it did have some downsides. Firstly you couldn't receive incoming calls away from home and the number of places you could actually make an outgoing call was, at best, limited. Oh and it was also quite pricey and only marginally cheaper than a mobile phone (which at the time were just starting to be within the financial reach of companies).

So rather than being a marvellous idea, Rabbit Telecom proved to be little better than a normal payphone and was practically obsolete by the time it hit the market in 1992. They ceased operation a year later.

But what on earth has a lesson in 1990's telephony got to do with an Alfa Romeo? Well you see the good people at Alfa, in this very car, tried to answer that burning automotive question: how do combine the drivability and economy of a manual gearbox with the convenience of an automatic? The answer: the Selespeed.

SELESPEED GEARBOX

I must admit I was rather sceptical about this whole thing when the other half decided this shiny blue (but nearly six years old) Alfa Romeo was going to be the new transport of choice.

Firstly it was an Alfa Romeo, a manufacturer I knew little about aside the fact their cars were generally crap and rust a lot. Then it's a 156 which meant absolutely nothing either. And to top it all we're going have this complete unknown quantity with the world's most complicated gearbox, which even the main dealer salesman described as "a learning curve".

I'll come back to the car in general shortly; but first I want to talk about this "miracle" transmission.

The general principal is to think of it as a clutch-less manual. This means there's just 2 peddles, just like an automatic, but it does have a more or less conventional 5 speed manual transmission in there as well.

For the gear stick you either push it upwards or downwards, depending on whether you're going up or down the gearbox (like a motorbike). Or you tap it over to the side to engage neutral - and to the side and down for reverse (which is accompanied by a warning beep). There is also a pair of up / down button located on the steering wheel too.

There's a display on the dash board which tells you what gear you are in, which is the only clue to what the 'box is actually doing.

When you first open the driver's door you are greeted with a buzzing / priming sound which is the system makes as it warming up. To start the car, you have to press the brake, knock the lever to the right, until the display reads "N" and the engine starts normally.

To get underway you tap the stick upwards and the display changes to "1" meaning first gear is engaged. Except it isn't. 1st gear doesn't actually arrive on the scene until you press the accelerator. This means you are really still in neutral right up until the point the car moves away. This is fine on the flat, but unlike with an automatic where it'll hold you steady; the Alfa it will merrily role back as soon as you release the brake. So you have the interesting situation where you've got to do a hill start, just without the clutch. I think this is the learning curve the salesman was referring too.

Once underway you find first gear is incredibly low, which means you need 2nd pretty much straight away. So you need to tap the lever upwards (which is counterintuitive if you're used to moving the lever down and to the left for number 2).

The car will then engage the clutch for you, change gear and release the clutch. Just like with a manual you need to back off the accelerator just a touch as it changes to smooth it out. The first change it made, admittedly, I wasn't too impressed with. It's fine having a robotic clutch, but this one seems to have been programmed by Maureen, off-of "Driving School" and the general jerkiness of it all was pretty crude.

The change for 2nd to 3rd, however, was much better - and by the time I'd reached 5th, the change was subtle and not unlike a normal car. As you request the gear change it very quickly become instinctive to adjust the throttle position and after just a few miles you and the car are working together as a driving machine.

Then the car's next trick started to show itself; as you slow down for a junction or roundabout, the car is busy changing down the gears for you. So by the time you arrive at the junction and ready to go the car is already in 1st or 2nd.

And things get better still - if you are really pressing on - simply keeping your foot planted on the accelerator at the same time as hitting the plus / minus gear button for a very fast change - it's not especially smooth, but it's probably the fastest shift this side of Formula 1.

The final party trick is reserved for the "City" button; a push of this will mean the car will change gear for you. Unfortunately in order to make a smooth change you still have to balance the accelerator properly on each change, so it takes a good while until both you and the car are intimately acquainted before this is of any use, unless you have to have a liking for whip-lash and neck braces.

Ok so this isn't as bad as I first thought, but it's a very long way from being brilliant. The whole-roll-back-on-a-hill thing is really the one aspect I can't get over. It just seems to make it unnecessarily hard work to be applying the handbrake on every mild slope.

Then there's the lack of controllability. In ice or snow, forget it - the clutch still releases at the same speed and it just leave the car scrambling to get a grip. Our driveway is especially tricky - it involves reversing round a corner and up moderate incline. Just a touch of ice together with the "all or nothing" clutch made the task of parking particularly exciting.

HOW THE 156 LOOKS

I've come this far in the review and I haven't even mentioned the car, which is rather unfair of me.

In terms of overall style, the 156 is a pretty hot prospect. The simple, uncluttered lines, tapering to a grill right at the very front give an aggressive, but sleek look (they even position the front number plate off to one side). The front door handles are a chrome button, but the rear ones are hidden out of sight - so at first glance it appears almost coupé like. This particular model also has a rather large factory fitted boot spoiler that was about half as high as the back window (mid life crisis anyone?).

Size wise, I think it's probably about half way between that of a Focus and a Mondeo, but unless parked side by side it seems much bigger than it really is and is difficult to pigeon hole.

THE INTERIOR

Rather than the brittle 99p store plastic bonanza I was expecting, it's actually surprisingly good on the inside. The dash is heavily styled being angled towards the driver with passenger side being almost "scooped" forward to create a sense of space.

The centre console houses the world's biggest ash-try, a cheap and nasty stereo (that looked like it came from the bargain bin at Lidl's) 3 faux-climate control knobs and 3 deeply recessed dials, containing the fuel level, clock and temperature gauge. Unfortunately the dials are so deep that the passenger cannot see what any of them say - apparently telling the time is something that is best left to the driver.
The climate control is fairly straight forward, but the "automatic" setting, still requires you to set the air distribution manually and the temperature control is a bit hit and miss if it's sunny, but cold. The vents are also fairly imaginative, having 1960's style eye ball vents for both the back seats (unusual for a car of this size) and on the outer edges of the dashboard, together with a rather unconventional centre vent that points upwards. It all works well enough once you get used to it though and the air conditioning does seem to be fairly efficient.

This being the more sporty model, the centre consol gets some carbon fibre effect trim, while the seats and doors are generously adored in tan leather. I say generously, because they seemed to have really push the boat out with this; I've been in plenty of premium cars in my time, but none, I mean none, can hold a candle to this. The leather just feels luxuriously soft and deeply thick; it's more like the feeling you get from a set of designer shoes and is very impressive.

What's not so impressive are some of the other bits. The glove box lid appears to be one size to small and a different shape, meaning it doesn't fit very well. The buttons that control the mirrors and fog lights also feel cheap and flimsy and the car has the annoying habit of not wanting to signal right if a roundabout has a very specific type of curve.

From the drivers seat things aren't good either. Firstly there's just not enough room, the seats too high and doesn't go back far enough and the steering wheel won't adjust high enough either. Being fairly tall, driving the Alfa I have to fold myself in and out of the seat each time. Once there my knees feel in my face and my arms are just uncomfortable.

Again some of the dash design here isn't good - the 2 pods containing the speedometer and rev counter are invisible to the passenger and the rather optimistic speedo starts at 0 in the 6 o'clock position, with 60mph being at 9 o'clock. It goes all the way around to 180mph so most of the time you're squinting at the bottom left hand corner. Which is handy, because the steering wheel obscures anything past 100 anyway.

ON THE ROAD

The 2.0 litre "twinspark" engine is very lively to say the least. That spoiler on the back isn't just for show and the car seems happy to rev away and is far quicker than any 2.0l has a right to be. Having said that it seems to return about 35mpg and doesn't beg to be driven fast and is quite happily (gearbox aside) tootling along in town.

The handling isn't bad either; it grips into bends and hangs on well. The springs do a good job of delivering a sporty ride that doesn't loosen your fillings. Having said that on uneven road surfaces it does tend to squirm a little and not having full clutch control takes the edge of your confidence.

But then it brings you back to the gearbox. While it may be the piece-de-resistance for this particular car, I can't help thinking it would be better the old fashioned way.

While it does strike a balance between a manual and an auto, it doesn't do it well enough to justify the complexity.

That's not to say it's a bad gearbox; just not significantly better that an auto or a manual.

And it's the same with the car. The style and unexpected quality are a surprise package and even with the "quirks" the car is interesting and fun to own. It's also appears dependable; in the 10,000 miles its cover in the last 6 months - nothing has gone wrong (so far!).

But as a package, both car and gearbox, it doesn't stack up. Like the Rabbit phone, the designers were hoping for the best of both worlds, but ended up creating a messy hotchpotch with such gaping flaws it's just never destined to catch on. Full marks for bravery, but a camera phone it ain't.

Thanks for reading.