Everybody has used the 'wipe my arse with handfuls of Andrex tissue and its very very comfy and keeps me clean' rah rah lyrics. So I am going to use a different approach, and no it doesn't entail right hand self pleasure antics of us guys (or girls either, we know what you get up to), but the ... Read review
...my arse with handfuls of Andrex tissue and its very very comfy and keeps me clean' rah rah lyrics. So I am going to use a different approach, and no it doesn't entail right hand self pleasure antics of us guys (or girls either, we know what you get up to), but the adventures of everyday life using these tissues. I mean why not, sure it's called toilet tissues but we use them for other stuff besides toilet related stuff right?
These ... ...all stretchy. Ok, grab the Andrex tissues and start wiping! Well the tissue got stuck to the floor so not so great, but with a bit of water the tissue cleaned it up very easily. Quite strong and I didn't use too much of the roll either.
Test 3: Wipe table
Ah crap, the lovely girlfriend spilt coffee all over my very expensive oak coffee table with the expensive skirting and laminated legs. But fear not the toilet roll is in the ... more
Everybody has used the 'wipe my arse with handfuls of Andrex tissue and its very very comfy and keeps me clean' rah rah lyrics. So I am going to use a different approach, and no it doesn't entail right hand self pleasure antics of us guys (or girls either, we know what you get up to), but the adventures of everyday life using these tissues. I mean why not, sure it's called toilet tissues but we use them for other stuff besides toilet related stuff right?
These tissues are 2 ply and are available at most major supermarket stores. The prices differ depending on the store, I got mine for £2.50 buy 1 get 1 free special offer. You know this brand because it's got that Golden Retriever puppy dog advertised with it all the time. It comes in packs of 2 or 4 or more and in an assortment of colours ranging from blue to green to pink. I like blue, so I got blue and since 4 is my lucky number I bought the 4 packs.
Test 1: Wipe arse Ok ok I know what you're thinking. They are toilet tissues so why not start out with the classic arse wiping flex I thought. So I start eating my food, piling on the beans and then ow... time to unleash the chocolate hostages. Unsurprisingly the tissue was soft, bouncy, and wiped me all clean in just a couple of handfuls. Not bad at all. The 'wipe but tissue tears in my hands' is less frequent than other tissues and that's saying alot (mainly washing your hands becomes a hell of alot easier.)
Test 2: Wipe floor Oh dear... I accidently dropped a nasty piece of sticky Toffee Apple on the kitchen floor. I pick it up and there is a massive sticky stain there all acting sticky and making toffee webs like when you cut freshly baked pizza and the cheese drags out all stretchy. Ok, grab the Andrex tissues and start wiping! Well the tissue got stuck to the floor so not so great, but with a bit of water the tissue cleaned it up very easily. Quite strong and I didn't use too much of the roll either.
Test 3: Wipe table Ah crap, the lovely girlfriend spilt coffee all over my very expensive oak coffee table with the expensive skirting and laminated legs. But fear not the toilet roll is in the palms of my hands and I lunged at it full speed unravelling the roll with my teeth. The tissue soaks up the coffee like it was a thirsty gorilla left out in the sun. 2 handfuls later the table is high and dry with no stains. Coffee table spared the torture of being thrown out. Oh and I lied it wasn't oak it was pine but more or less the same right? And it is expensive.
Test 4: Blow nose Being the hayfever season I offered the roll of tissues to my highly esteemed friend, Mark, to blow his nose and empty the contains into these tissues to test it's resilience. Mark, known for blowing holes in his boxers with powerful sneezes and also for sneezing non stop for 2 minutes once, blew his nose and emptied out his natural glue into a handful of tissue. He looked at me with a grin and said, "Hey these are soft and doesn't scratch up my nose." All good son, and plus the tissue wasn't destroyed by the hiroshima-isk blast so there it goes with the amazing strength of character. Good ole Andrex. Afterwards he used some more to wipe the tears from his eyes, not because he was touched by my offering him the tissues, but because the pollen was invading his eyes. "These soak up very good too and my eyes aren't in pain", he said. Well at least I don't have to do a separate test for the eyes thing.
Test 5: Tug O War To test if it was strong enough to withstand being dragged apart like the Bacofoil advert with that muscle man trying to rip the Bacofoil in half, I and the same friend unrolled about 2 metres of tissue and dragged at opposite ends. Unastonishingly the tissue snapped and sent us both flying like the morons we were to ever conceive this idea, onto the floor. Ok so that didn't work, in that light we both drag ourselves up with the tattered shreds of our dignity intact and I went solo again.
Test 6: Bug termination Ok now to catch bugs with this roll. After a quick gander around it seems the insects in my home have decided to vacate the building and leave me searching for nothing. Where's a bug when you need one? But lo and behold, a daddy long leg spider has crawled out from the corner of my washing machine as if it heard my cry of desperation. This spider was massive, with it's long creepy legs and small midget body, it was about the size of a large chocolate coin. It was not a chocolate coin but it was going to be as flat as one when I jumped at it tissue in hand with a war cry. ARGH!! Crushed spider in hand and a victorious moment nearly made me forget to check and make sure it's juices weren't soaking through to my fingers. But it was ok, the tissue destroyed it but it's juices haven't soaked through, well done Andrex! Well, it was time to flush the spider down the loo and thank it's participation in my ciao review.
So after 6 tests the results are conclusive. Andrex toilet tissues rawk! The adventures I went on with them still left me with around half a roll remaining in my hand, and believe me after what I went through it's a miracle there's still half there. These tissues are reasonably strong, long, absorbant and very good value for money, even when the special offer is not on anymore. Plus my girlfriend likes them because of the 'cute' puppy on the packaging. I like them because they get the job done in relative ease without my hands getting soiled (too much) in the process. What you waiting for? Buy a pack or two!
Any comments feel free to email me at china_wolf@hotmail.com. Nothing offensive please, I like humour and people to be civilised!
Advantages: You finger doesn't get covered, your bum doesn't get scratched and its a wrapper you can proud off in your toilet. Lets face it, we dont want tesco value on show now! Disadvantages: bit more pennies
...out the new version of Andrex Quilts, nothing seems to perform as good as these. So what is so special ………? Please don't get me wrong, all Andrex are good. They always seem to have many new off spring, the normal sheet, the embossed, the aloe vera and the honey. I think, this time the quilts are the best of the bunch.
Every individual sheet has three layers which are fused into one chunky "quilt" or sheet. They measure 13cms x 11 cms which is boxed ... ...per roll unlike the normal Andrex which has 240 sheets. Its still cost effective though as you only need two sheets for us girls to mop up any drips on no 1's and only 4 for each swipe at your no 2's. The normal andrex needs a good 4 sheets to dry up any spills and at least 8 to get a good angle at your rear end. Any Smell ………?
Not on the quilts, just the smell of cotton. Andrex do an Aloe Vera toilet tissue which isn't as soft but gives off a bit ...
mrsmopples 02.08.2005
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Andrex Toilet Tissues
Advantages: A pleasure to use Disadvantages: Its a bit of a bummer!
...I am going to review Andrex Toilet Tissue with Aloe Vera and Vitamin E. If you have read any of my previous reviews you will think I am the most unlikely person to review a product of this nature, but here goes.
Why did I buy this instead of my normal brand?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Firstly, I do all the shopping in our house. Why? Basically because I am better at it than the missus, I spend less (but generally buy more; know what ... ...bargain, I noticed this new Andrex product with a trial price of £1.55. So, I assumed I was going to get a better product than my normal one, and for less money.
What’s the packaging like?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The normal big ‘Andrex’ word on the cellophane wrapper. Mainly transparent so you can see the product inside. Some ‘leafy’ sort of picture, I guess to show the Aloe Vera (I am not sure but I think Aloe Vera is plant extract). On the back ...
Story_Weaver 25.04.2004
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Andrex Toilet Tissues
Advantages: What you want in a Toilet roll Disadvantages: May seem pricey to some
...Bog Roll, Loo Tissue)
Andrex is a well known toilet manufacturer. I'm sure you've seen all the adverts involing the mascot, A Puppy called Andrex, getting up to mischief. The adverts are told from Andrex's point of view and in the latest, to proof that andrex is long, he ties the beginning of a roll to a lampost and then we see the car driving along and a large "kite" of loo roll behing them.
*Did you know there are over 120 Andrex adverts?!*
... ...2-ply roll.*
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Andrex loo roll is availble from all supermarkets and the prices range from about £2.50. There are many different colours and multipacks available including 2, 4 and 9 packs and pink, blue, green and white colours. All the varieties come with Andrex (a golden retriever puppy) on the cover so you shouldn't miss it!
I usually buy the white 9 pack with 3 free (12 in all) in my tesco's. It comes in a large plastic wrapper with a handle ...
Rialise 25.08.2007 (26.08.2007)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Andrex Toilet Tissues
Advantages: Smooth, soft, strong Disadvantages: Artatthemovies uses it
...But no, it's Andrex for me, pure and simple. It's a bit more expensive than your own brands but as I say: nine times out of ten you get what you pay for.
HOW DOES IT FEEL?
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I don't know if this is psychological or not, but because I've spent a few extra pennies is it my mind saying it feels better or my bum? I'll plump for the latter in this case. Generally I find this kind to my skin and on the occasions when I ... ...and pink. Andrex could clean up (no pun intended) if they diversified their colour range. How about:
-black for Linkin Park fans (with skull n crossbones logo)
-red for when you're feeling really angry or have to strain that little bit harder
-pink with little fluffy fairies (The Shell From BB5 Memorial Roll)
In fact, if you can create logos and ringtones for any type of market on your mobile, this can surely be easily transferred to toilet paper.
...
waynehorrigan 30.07.2004
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Andrex Toilet Tissues
Advantages: brilliant to wipe your bum on Disadvantages: can be dusty fibres when tearing the tissue
...is the one for you. Andrex is very thick, soft and gentle, and also very absorbent.
*OTHER USES*
Well if you have a cold, then this tissue is very soft on the nose, and as mentioned before, is very absorbent,so should be adequate for the most strongest hooter blower! But when you tear the tissue there does seem to be rather a lot of dusty fibres which fly of the paper, these fibres might make you sneeze more!
*PREFERENCES*
Andrex toilet tissue ... ...scheme. You can also buy Andrex with added aloe vera, and also Andrex moist toilet tissue.
*POSSIBLY INTERESTING ANDREX FACTS*
1. The rolls are 2ply tissue
2. 241 sheets per roll
3. Sheet size= 124x110mm
4. Total area= 6.54m2
5. Roll length= 29.76 meters (thats a lot of bottom wiping!)
On each packet there are tokens which you can collect, and send off for things on their website. eg. cuddly toys, calenders, slippers,books.
www.andrexpuppy.co.uk ...
jane2002 25.03.2003
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Andrex Toilet Tissues
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Be Kind To Your Behind
Lets face it most of us tend not to discuss the type of toilettissue that we use well it is a private matter after all, however after spotting this item in Morrisons the other day I just felt that I had to write a review to highlight how wonderful I think it is. I have always used Andrextoilettissue favouring it from other brands as I find it a little bit thicker and kinder for the old bot. This particular variation of the brand caught my attention as it was only £1.50 for four rolls and I had not heard of it before it was Andrex enriched with shea butter toilet roll.
This item comes in plastic wrapping like most other toilettissue does. It is predominantly brown with the traditional Andrex logo and puppy motif on the front of the packaging. The manufacturers market this product as being silky soft ...
Advantages: Surprisingly soft and not expensive Disadvantages: Can irritate very sensitive skin
In a moment of environmental guilt having just driven 15 minutes to Sainsbury's for a brief shop rather than taking a short stroll to Londis, I decided to pick up their Revive Recycled ToiletTissue instead of reaching for the Andrex. When it came around to actually using the toilet paper I was a little apprehensive and expecting the painful chafing that one gets from the recycled newpapers they use in the Czech Republic, but it was surprisingly soft, while giving you a slight feeling of smugness the next time you are reminded of the rape of the rainforests. However, be warned those of you with very sensitive skin - while most of us seem to be alright, the bleach they use in the production process seems to have irritated my mother's behind... ...
Advantages: Soft on my nether regions Disadvantages: Not as long as some rolls
match my bathroom and they had also got packs of white ones too, but no other colour at the time that I was in store. I assume that they produce the usual colours of blue, green and pink too, but don?t quote me on that one!
I usually use Andrextoilettissue these days as I find it is pretty much the softest one around, but I have been pleasantly surprised by Charmin. I don?t think it is quite as sort as Andrex but it is certainly good enough for the job so to speak!
The boring statistics of this product are that the pack contains four rolls of two-ply tissue each having an average of 180 sheets per roll. The average size of an individual sheet is 125 x 109mm making the total surface area of the roll 9.18 square metres, although who would want to know this seemingly useless information beats me.
The important statistic is that ...
