Advantages It's tissue
Disadvantages It's tissue
Everybody has used the 'wipe my arse with handfuls of Andrex tissue and its very very comfy and keeps me clean' rah rah lyrics. So I am going to use a different approach, and no it doesn't entail right hand self pleasure antics of us guys (or girls either, we know what you get up to), but the adventures of everyday life using these tissues. I mean why not, sure it's called toilet tissues but we use them for other stuff besides toilet related stuff right?
These tissues are 2 ply and are available at most major supermarket stores. The prices differ depending on the store, I got mine for £2.50 buy 1 get 1 free special offer. You know this brand because it's got that Golden Retriever puppy dog advertised with it all the time. It comes in packs of 2 or 4 or more and in an assortment of colours ranging from blue to green to pink. I like blue, so I got blue and since 4 is my lucky number I bought the 4 packs.Test 1: Wipe arse
Ok ok I know what you're thinking. They are toilet tissues so why not start out with the classic arse wiping flex I thought. So I start eating my food, piling on the beans and then ow... time to unleash the chocolate hostages. Unsurprisingly the tissue was soft, bouncy, and wiped me all clean in just a couple of handfuls. Not bad at all. The 'wipe but tissue tears in my hands' is less frequent than other tissues and that's saying alot (mainly washing your hands becomes a hell of alot easier.)
Test 3: Wipe table
Ah crap, the lovely girlfriend spilt coffee all over my very expensive oak coffee table with the expensive skirting and laminated legs. But fear not the toilet roll is in the palms of my hands and I lunged at it full speed unravelling the roll with my teeth. The tissue soaks up the coffee like it was a thirsty gorilla left out in the sun. 2 handfuls later the table is high and dry with no stains. Coffee table spared the torture of being thrown out. Oh and I lied it wasn't oak it was pine but more or less the same right? And it is expensive.
Test 5: Tug O War
To test if it was strong enough to withstand being dragged apart like the Bacofoil advert with that muscle man trying to rip the Bacofoil in half, I and the same friend unrolled about 2 metres of tissue and dragged at opposite ends. Unastonishingly the tissue snapped and sent us both flying like the morons we were to ever conceive this idea, onto the floor. Ok so that didn't work, in that light we both drag ourselves up with the tattered shreds of our dignity intact and I went solo again.
So after 6 tests the results are conclusive. Andrex toilet tissues rawk! The adventures I went on with them still left me with around half a roll remaining in my hand, and believe me after what I went through it's a miracle there's still half there. These tissues are reasonably strong, long, absorbant and very good value for money, even when the special offer is not on anymore. Plus my girlfriend likes them because of the 'cute' puppy on the packaging. I like them because they get the job done in relative ease without my hands getting soiled (too much) in the process. What you waiting for? Buy a pack or two!
Any comments feel free to email me at china_wolf@hotmail.com. Nothing offensive please, I like humour and people to be civilised!
The famous Andrex puppy
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xdonzx 26/10/2007 17:53
giantpanda21 07/04/2006 12:11
Great review i like how they have started putting the puppies on the loo roll now
vids 01/01/2006 17:24
Venetia 26/04/2005 21:32
great review - very entertaining! puppies on the loo roll are a great hit with my two year old!
Andy0304 02/10/2004 17:29
They come with a little puppies on the loo roll now!!!
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Andrex Toilet Tissues Pack 4 064.140 Andrex Toilet Tissues Pack 4 064.140 Soft and thick 2-ply toilet tissue 240 sheets per roll |
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12 x Andrex on the Go Toilet Tissues Andrex On The Go Toilet Tissue Roll is great for nights out and festivals as it fits neatly in your pocket or handbag. The roll comes in a... |
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