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Bottom swiping - or should I say wiping, that's a real sensitive subject isn't it? Come on be honest , no one likes to admit to doing it, no one likes talk about it unless you've had a few and its not really a conversation piece either at your posh mate's dinner party. However, we all have to do it, sit on the throne, even her Majesty, but I expect her pooh is blue and not the common brown. So I wonder what toilet paper she uses …….. hmmmm, bet it isn't Aldi's special or Wilkinson's latest deal on BOGOF. If its not from the Duchy of Cornwall or some posh shop in Knightsbridge, then I can imagine her wiping away her cares with a roll of Andrex.
We all know of Andrex, its been around for more years than I care to remember, my mother used it when she was knee high to a grass hopper and her mother before that. It's a brand you can trust and it won't let you down, or won't let your finger down , (nothing worse than piercing through a sheet of loo roll with your little pointy). Be honest its happened to us all!
I have tried countless loo rolls, those on offer especially. I always come back to Andrex, especially now as they have brought out the new version of Andrex Quilts, nothing seems to perform as good as these.
So what is so special ………?
Please don't get me wrong, all Andrex are good. They always seem to have many new off spring, the normal sheet, the embossed, the aloe vera and the honey. I think, this time the quilts are the best of the bunch. Every individual sheet has three layers which are fused into one chunky "quilt" or sheet. They measure 13cms x 11 cms which is boxed standard but it's the thickness that does the trick here. Each sheet still has the perforations (bit useless if they didn't, you cant exactly trim off a sheet at a time when you are having a dump). The perforations need a bit more effort to part them, but in this case when you do tug away , the sheets don't fall apart in one heap or come away, they remain intact. The new quilts have only 160 sheets per roll unlike the normal Andrex which has 240 sheets. Its still cost effective though as you only need two sheets for us girls to mop up any drips on no 1's and only 4 for each swipe at your no 2's. The normal andrex needs a good 4 sheets to dry up any spills and at least 8 to get a good angle at your rear end.
Any Smell ………?
Not on the quilts, just the smell of cotton. Andrex do an Aloe Vera toilet tissue which isn't as soft but gives off a bit of smell as you swipe away. To be honest, having a scented toilet roll doesn't give your bum a "just washed" fresh feeling. If you want to clean yourself up properly and don't have a bidet, then Andrex produce a wet toilet tissue that comes in a tub, a bit like baby wipes. At nearly £2.49 this all adds up the pennies though and if you are on a tight budget, you do without or you pinch your kids "Kandoo's".
The squashy test.
The sheets are bouncy but if you give the Andrex quilt roll a squeeze, it doesn't bounce back half as quick as the regular Andrex.
The washing machine test We've all done it girls, put in a load of darks in the machine, only to pull them out with flakes of white every where over your clean wash. With this, if you forget to check the pockets, dont worry, it will not go into crumbs but comes out a solid yet soggy mass.
The strength test. Now they come into a world of their own here, the sheets are much stronger but just as pliable. Because of the strength, you can use them for a variety of other uses and they will not crumble into pieces. Examples are:
1: Removing make up, even mascara with the help of some baby oil. 2: Nose blowing, it even holds up when my hubby has a cold. There are no projectile bogeys to be seen. 3: Cleaning the leaves of your rubber plant. Use some milk to give the leaves a brilliant shine. One sheet needed for a standard sized rubber. 4. A make shift tampax. I'm not going into detail here but it works until you get further supplies. 5. Soaking up milk shake and spilt liquids.
I am sure there are probably 101 uses for a toilet sheet, but I'm not going into that unless Ciao decided to add it in as a topic.
As I said previous, your finger wont get soiled either which isn't a pleasant experience and be honest, its all happened to us sometime!
How much and where from?
Well you have to pay a bit more for quality in this world, so it's nowhere near as cheap as Tesco Value rolls. However, when you use Andrex, be it quilts or the normal version, then you can feel the difference on your skin. Your bum will not be itchy afterwards and I say its money well spent. Prices vary depending on the offers at the time but expect to pay around £1.88 for a pack of four quilts. Even after reading my praise on the quilts you still wish to use the normal Andrex, then the price for four is roughly £1.68. The Aloe Vera packet of four is the same price as the quilts but not as soft and strong. Andrex are as popular as a loaf of Hovis and you can find them everywhere. From Mr Patel's corner shop to the supermarket giants. However Aldi and Lidle don't stock them, they just sell the scratchy stuff which isn't half as good. I wonder if E bay stock these?????
Only the usual kind, you know that annoying malteser that just wants to keep bobbing up in the water. This paper, though a bit more on the heavier side, does go down the pan with one flush. I have a water metre so I need all my contents to go in swoop, I can't afford to flush twice.
Depends on what type of paper you are getting but all have the Andrex puppy on the front. The rolls are held together in plastic wrapping which doesn't say is recyclable. The plastic is quite tough and you need a good tug to open the packet. The quilts packaging is lilac and white with the Andrex logo quite prominent on the front. The aloe vera is green and white, the honey is well, honey and white, the embossed is purple and white.
The Andrex puppy. The Andrex puppy is a golden Labrador and is used in the advert and on the wrapping. The puppy depicts the strength of the roll by running away with it and it shows the rolls go on and on and on. The puppy is cute and cuddly and Andrex have got on the bandwagon by promoting it as merchandise. On the loo rolls there are tokens to collect and once you have enough you can redeem them for a cuddly toy pup. It will still cost a few pounds, they don't come free! For six puppy tokens and £5 you get the puppy bag. The pyjama case is £8.50 plus 6 tokens. The cuddly pup is £5 plus 6 tokens and the slippers are £4.50 plus the tokens.
Addresses and Website's
Andrex have a cool web site dedicated to their puppy which is www.andrexpuppy.co.uk. On here the kids (5 to 9 year old's) have a few games they can play and you can order the puppy merchandise.
Consumer Relations Kimberley Clark Ltd Freepost 1 Tower View Kings Hill West Malling Kent ME19 4HA
Tel: 0800 626008
Isn't it refreshing to see a Freepost address and a 0800 free phone number, its very rare these days?
~~~~~~~~To sum it all up:~~~~~~~~ Andrex and the new quilts are a bit more over priced (pennies) than the average loo roll, but its worth paying that little extra. The roll fits comfortably over the loo roll holder in your toilet and if you are frugal, it will last as long as the normal rolls. Remember you don't need to wrap your hand around the stuff, only four sheets will do. Being an Andrex fan, I will continue using Andrex but only if the quilts are not available. They are softer, stronger and kinder to your private bits. You bum will thank you for it.