Andrex with Aloe Vera and Vitamin E

...offer. I actually buy Andrex anyway, as I find it thick, absorbent, and quite soft! And, it isn’t really any more expensive than other leading brands that I have not found to be quite as nice. But, this was on offer so I tried it. I DID find it to be really soft, and comfy, but I could not say that I would be interested in paying extra for it. THEN, as fate would have it, I DID have the horrid diarrhoea one day! You know when you have that horrible ...
...bum a favour, and buy it Andrex with added Aloe Vera and Vitamin E!

Rated 4 stars, because I dont like having to pay extra for comfort, but at least it DOES perform as stated! As this is ALWAYS a big deal to me!
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The Background Bit (The story that almost relates to the review…that bit!)
It all started something like this:

I was in the store one day not too long ago, looking for my usual brand of cheapest store’s own brand toilet roll, when suddenly, as a large crowd of shoppers passed, my bum took the opportunity to speak up! And speak up loudly it did! ‘FART FART….parp…phewwwwww!’ Red in the face, at the lack of proper grammar construction, I quickly apologized to those around me, and with a scowling face, I asked my bum to speak PROPERLY in the future! What it had SAID, was ‘ Look mummy its toilet roll, and its gots vitamin e. Can I have it, can I?’ Well, we ALL know that the grammatically PROPER way to say that would be, ‘Look mummy, its toilet roll, and it HAS vitamin e. Please MAY I have some?’ Grammar corrections over, I looked and noticed that it WAS on offer, and it DID have vitamin e….well you know how the lil ones (no matter how big they get, they are always our lil babies, aren’t they?) love those lil toy additions, and mine loves its vitamin e! So, I like most mums, gave in WAY too easily and bought it. ‘But ONLY THIS TIME!’ I said. ‘We are NOT going to make a habit of it. And, you can only use it after a POO, if you use it after a wee, it will run out too fast and you wont have it anymore!’ ‘Farty –fart’ (ok in lil bum talk.) So, after finishing the shopping, I quickly went to the check out with my lil bum, and got home before we had anymore embarrassing grammatically incorrect moments.

Upon arriving home, well you know what happened! BUM, decided it had to go toilet NOW! I didn’t believe it of course, but it wanted the vitamin e toy inside the pack. So, I being so tired from our long day out, let it have a go with the new toilet roll. Suddenly, I heard some VERY strange noises from the toilet! ‘Frrrraarrrt…phew.’ ‘What?’ I said. Well, it seems my bum was in HEAVEN. It absolutely LOVED the thickness and the utter softness! It said, it felt like a pillow on the soft spots! Well, don’t get too used to it, I was thinking, it wont be on offer forever! So, the days went by, and the bum was acting ever so much happier. Then one day, I went to get dressed and I noticed just how SOFT my bum was. ‘ Wow’, I said, ‘what have you been doing? I don’t even detect a zit on you! Have you been giving up on the chocolate lately?’ It just gave me a very satisfied lil ‘parp’ in response. Wow. Next time we gathered ourselves up to go toilet, I COULD HARDLY MAKE IT IN TIME! That bum was so ready to get there, it was BURSTING to go. Thankfully, I made it there in time, and told the bum to be more patient next time. It said, it cant help it…this toilet roll is an addiction.

To keep this long story from getting longer, I just want to say, that my bum was SO MUCH happier with this toilet roll, and contrary to belief SO MUCH HEALTHIER, that I just had to continue buying it! It was softer and happier, and FAR MORE grammatically correct in the grocery store from then on!

The Review Bit:
We all know that vitamin e is a great one for nourishing the skin, and improving elasticity. Thus, many women use it when pregnant to aid in the reduction of stretch marks along the tummy bits, (or in some cases that make me utterly JEALOUS, to keep ANY STRETCH MARKS from EVER forming! Cows!) I was not so lucky, but then, I was not aware of the miracle of vitamin e at that time! We also know that aloe vera is the wonder plant of the millennium. It helps on cuts, and burns and all sorts. Though it doesn’t seem to take the burn out of MY burns, it does have a cool soothing effect! So, I did buy this toilet roll one time when it was on offer. I actually buy Andrex anyway, as I find it thick, absorbent, and quite soft! And, it isn’t really any more expensive than other leading brands that I have not found to be quite as nice. But, this was on offer so I tried it. I DID find it to be really soft, and comfy, but I could not say that I would be interested in paying extra for it. THEN, as fate would have it, I DID have the horrid diarrhoea one day! You know when you have that horrible flu, where the temp goes way up and the poo comes out like water, and burns the heck out of the bum? Of COURSE you do, so don’t look at me like that! Well, I did use this, and it was AMAZING. Sorry, I know it is only toilet roll, but it really did soothe my bum. Then, of course as my nose was constantly dripping, I had used it on my nose! Ok, now THIS was the clencher more than the bum. This stuff actually felt NICE on my sore, and hurting nose. I don’t know about anyone else, but I do NOT buy tissues, toilet roll works as well and works out cheaper. But this was honestly not only soothing, but it did not hurt or scrape my nose, or make it feel any worse. It really felt lovely! For this reason, I actually fell in LOVE with this toilet roll, (Sorry Xopher, honey, I hoped you would never find out, and I certainly didn’t want you to find out like this. But it meant NOTHING to me, REALLY. It was just there for support when I reeeeaaaallly needed the softness and the comfort…you know how it is don’t you? Tell me you understand!) Now, I have to be honest here, I do NOT find the cost worth the extra for bum’s sake, BUT when I have a runny nose, or that horrible stinging diarrhoea, THEN I find it to be incredibly soothing, and I WILL spend the lil extra for the BIG difference! And for the supple skin, well I can just buy some vitamin e caps, open them up, and rub them on the bum bum!

Where to get it?
Pretty much at any large supermarket, or even your local supermarket if it is one of the major names…Somerfield’s, Tesco, Co-op, Sainsbury’s etc. But, at the time of this writing you could actually buy two four roll packs for only £2.88 at Tesco.com online shopping! OK, looks like treat time for the bum.

PS
Since writing this review, it should be noted that the bum is MUCH older now, and no longer makes grammatically incorrect statements in public! It insisted I add that part.

It should also be noted, that no actual bums were hurt in the writing of this review.

Thank you for reading. Do your bum a favour, and buy it Andrex with added Aloe Vera and Vitamin E!

Rated 4 stars, because I dont like having to pay extra for comfort, but at least it DOES perform as stated! As this is ALWAYS a big deal to me!
 

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