Arctic Roll

Advantages: It has ice cream, it has sponge.
Disadvantages: It is foul.

...I first tasted an Arctic Roll, when my mother brought us one back from our local Co-Op. Now the idea of this sounded so nice, a rich layer of sponge, with vanilla flavoured ice cream on the inside, all frozen and delicous, excellent i thought i, think i am going to like this. But when i tasted it, it was bloody aweful, i have never tasted so much pants in all my life, now you see where the title comes from. Now i know you can purchase these by ...
...a picture of the actually arctic roll on the box, with the name of the item on the box itself. As for the product itself, i really do not like these, i mean i love ice cream, who does not. I love sponge as well, but put these together and you come up with something that i really really do not like. When you get into the box itself, you will notice the the arctic roll is wrapped in a plastic bag, which is easy to open. When you do get into the ... Read review

Advantages: lovely
Disadvantages: a bit cheap looking

...that some people don't like arctic roll. What's that about? Why, if it was up to me, all those people would be dragged screaming from their families, put in a large room full of insane donkeys and made to stay there until they have been kicked to death. And even that would be too good for them. What's not to like about arctic roll? It has ice cream - good. It has sponge - good. It even has jam - very good. The people who make arctic roll could easily ...
...who have never had an arctic roll and now I'm going to have to describe one lest people start crying about it. Sigh. How tiresome. Well, an arctic roll is a twelve inch cylinder of vanilla ice cream wrapped in a thin layer of sponge. Between the ice cream and the sponge there is some jam. Not much jam, admittedly, but it is there. You can eat it on its own or, as I mentioned earlier, with cream. Or custard, I suppose, although I've never tried that ... Read review

Advantages: Cheap
Disadvantages: Yucky sponge

...One such sweet/dessert is Arctic Roll. Now not even J K Rowling or Terry Prachett with their infinite fanbase and literary expertise could possibly make a strong case for this most bland of desserts. I have tried many different brands of Arctic Roll with the same conclusion for all. This review should therefor be considered to be refering to ALL brands. The humble arctic roll is basically a 6 inch long cylindrical shape of vanilla ice cream wrapped ...
...you thinking Yummy yum Yum. well let me dispel any illusions you may have. For starters the sponge which rather neatly wraps the ice cream is for want of a better word rubbery. Rather than the soft springy delicious texture you might expect once a mouthful of this has enter your facial orifice you could be chewing for days. The taste is probably best described as adequate, being sweet and really not much more else. The ice cream is smooth in texture ... Read review

Advantages: Makes you feel good about yourself
Disadvantages: Makes you feel sick

Arctic roll is a creation that should never have happened! Surely it came from the twisted mind of an off-duty geneticist, tired of grafting human ears to the back of mice! For anyone unsure of what Arctic Roll actually is, I shall elaborate: Imagine a small "log" of ice cream enshrouded in sponge cake, separated by the merest layer of strawberry jam. Now I know what you're thinking "I really like ice cream/sponge cake/strawberry jam, What could ...
...think my main loathing for Arctic Roll stems from my child-hood. When visiting one of my friends his mum used to buy Arctic Roll as a "treat", treat mind! Obviously being young and being "treated" I couldn't complain and had to eat the devil-spawned food! This led to a particular method of eating involving going around the outside first eating the sponge and trying desperatley to avoid too much cross-pollunation of sponge and ice cream. Seconds ... Read review

Advantages: er - cheap?
Disadvantages: pretty much everything else

Arctic roll - does this exist outside of schools? I should hope not. Mass-produced flavourless vanilla ice-cream with your choice of stale spongy coating to fit - complete with the vaguely bitter substance to be found in-between. Packaging? I've never seen them packaged, just standing lonely in the middle of plates. They look as bad as they prove to be - and there'ssomething about this ice-cream - either it's rock-solid, but rubbery or liquidy slush, ...
...that's found with other ice creams. You can tell which it's going to be as soon as you probe it with the spoon. I can't decide which is the lesser of the two evils - it's up to you. But why bother? you know even before it reaches your mouth what the taste's going to be; a mixture of mouth-burning tasteless coldness and a vaguely sour aftertaste - could this be UHT ice cream? The sponge is still worse, either itself still frozen or soggy and somehow ... Read review