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I like to consider myself thee (yes, thee!) greatest C21 Doctor Who fan around. My life revolves around that show (sorry to disappoint those of you who always assumed yoghurts were my world!). So I decided to step into the Doctor's shoes, and tend to my patients!
The first patient of the day walks through the door. It is quite a plump little pot of yoghurt, perhaps they are in for a prescribed diet? They are wearing a white jacket with a red design on the front. This red design surely cannot be a symbol of their lifestyle?! On it was an embroidered image of a strawberry with a fine layer of fresh white cream - seemingly too healthy for this patient! The patient lay down as I asked 'her' to remove her hat. This hat did not come off too easily, and she ended up spitting at me slightly in frustration. I asked her to open her mouth wide so I could give her a closer inspection. She didn't look too well, if I'm to be completely honest. She was a pasty white colour with a slight pink tint. She seemed to have little pinky spots in her too. But what shocked me was how watery she was. This poor yoghurt obviously was not feeling too well!
Sometimes you can tell when a patient is coming in with Body Odour trouble or such like, as you can detect them before they even walk in your office. However, she has quite a pleasantly mild and sweet strawberry scent, which was most pleasurable to whiff at fainltly. Now, some may find it weird, but I always believe in giving my patients a taste - thorough examinations with every visit! I thickened her up a little by giving her a firm stirring, she was ready to be sampled. I think we had discovered the problem now - it was certainly her flavour. She must have felt a little off, indeed! I had expected quite a sugary sweet flavour because of her creamy name, but instead I was faced with a rather sour and tangy, unpleasant flavour. She tasted a little past her sell-by date too, but this one was actually quite young. I had to make a diagnosis there and then. Utterly vile!
No wonder this one was feeling terrible; when I took a closer look at her nutrition, I could not help but gasp! Her details are printed on the back of her jacket in small black lettering, stated for every 100g. As she was 150g, I had to do a bit of calculating. This pot contained 220 calories. Her blood sugar was sky high too, with 24g! And obesity? Well she had a total of 10g fat! Quite appalling for a yoghurt - I think a workout is to be laid down here! I did have to give her some benefit though; she did have good hair and nails - she is quite rich in calcium!
::WARNING:: she contains milk, and may contain traces of nuts and seeds (her husband likes to nibble on them of an evening!).
I could tell by her jacket that this one was liked her luxuries! She alone costs 68p, which is quite a lot for her personality! I guess it has something to do with labels again, this one branded as 'Extra Special'! Though I suppose you have to look on the bright side - she does have a good life expectancy for a yoghurt - with around a fortnight after purchasing of fridge life!
I keep a record of all the patients who come to see me, and I like to compare them with one another to see how different people live their lives. Never before had I had a Strawberries and Cream come to visit me - I find it is a most unique flavour! Though I have had a lot of Strawberries! This is a lot less healthy than the Muller Light Strawberry and the Coop and Tesco low fat Strawberries that come to see me. Though there is a lot more in the pot than the Weight Watchers Strawberry yoghurt. Although this was watery, it isn't as pasty as the Asda Good For You! I have had some of her family members come to visit me in the past month, including the Lemon Curd and the Devon Toffee. They must have adopted the same unhealthy lifestyle as her, though I will admit - they are so much thicker! In general, she is pretty low on the flow chart!
When the results came back from the versatility test I carried out, things did not seem too good. It turns out that the yoghurt is much too heavy to add to the delicate weetabix, though adding to to sweet fruits such as strawberries or raspberries is a possibility. The pot is quite big so is not really good for adding to lunches, however serving it as a snack or dessert is always an option. Her jacket is made of a tough cardboard rather than a plastic, so cannot be washed and reused. Do not fret though - this is always recyclable!
You may wish to visit her if you are looking for something a little different with a strong sour taste, though if you had set out to find a sweet strawberry sensation, then turn away! Unfortunately she only really stays at Asda - her social life is very minimal! But if you head her way, then pop in by if you so wish!