Au Pair

...of September to be an au pair in England. I must say that I was over excited by the idea of spending a school year in a country whose language has been a real passion for me for almost a decade !
I had decided to look for an au pair family on the internet, although some people had told me that there were agencies dealing with this kind of jobs. I had found two reasons (which I thought were good enough) not to use the services of an agency ...
...plenty of them… Their former au pair had left the day before… honestly, I thought she had done the work. The mom reproached this to me saying that I wasn’t helping her much and that if I didn’t want to do it I’d have to let her know so that they organise a different way… if you had had somebody talk to you the way she did, I bet you would have answered something… I didn’t, I had not expected to be spoken this way… I just swallowed her words and didn’t ... more

As some of you know, I left France by the end of September to be an au pair in England. I must say that I was over excited by the idea of spending a school year in a country whose language has been a real passion for me for almost a decade !
I had decided to look for an au pair family on the internet, although some people had told me that there were agencies dealing with this kind of jobs. I had found two reasons (which I thought were good enough) not to use the services of an agency : first, the cost. By subscribing on the au pair website (which is not the home page of an agency) I had to pay £10 for a month. During this month, I could give several profiles of myself, change them as many times as I wanted to according to my wishes (according to the place I wanted to go to, or to the number of children I accepted…), I could also contact 100 families… The second reason is that it seemed to be really quick and it really turned out to be so !
Well, I had tried to contact about 3 or 4 families, most of them didn’t answer, one wrote me back, it was a family from Cambridge offering £200 a week, and where I’d have had to take care of the children before and after school and do a bit of housework… I was really excited about that, but they found somebody else that was already in England… too bad for me !
Then 3 other families contacted me… the first one was in London and was offering me to work for them in French. The mother being French, she wanted her 12 year old daughter to speak French fluently and wanted me to help her doing her homework and speak to her in French… I wasn’t that interested by this proposal because I wanted to go to the UK in order to improve my English, and the host family was supposed to be one of my main “teachers” so to say, which implies conversations in English !
The second family eventually didn’t answer once I had told them that I had to choose between 3 families… they just gave up about me !
The third family that contacted me was from Kent. They sounded so great ! I would have my own room, but have to share toilettes and bathroom, I’d have to drive the kids to school and nursery and take care of them in the afternoon/evening until their parents come back from work. They were the perfect age : 2 and 5 !Paid £50 a week. I said YES !
So,this is where I went to… It was about 535 miles from my place if I took the ferry (which I did), so it was feasible ! I organised everything, I booked the ferry (£112), booked the hotel (£26) in the North of France so I could do the trip in 2 days. I had to check my car which involved many repairing to make sure that the journey would be fine… (this honestly I can’t count because I can’t remember the price of each things I had to have changed but it must have been over £280)… when I had a look at my bank account after all this, I said to myself that my journey in Great Britain had better be good !
I arrived in the very place which I found pretty… The city looked sweet at first sight, the kids lovely when their parents were there… the house was ok… no problem except a bit of nostalgia… I had left my whole family and my boyfriend in France, and I started to realise that I wouldn’t see them before quite a long time… I went to bed quite early the first night because the trip had been tiring and I must admit that nostalgia kept me crying !
The second day was my first day of work… I went to the school and nursery to bring the children with their daddy… he was a very kind person. I could remember the route after going there twice because it wasn’t really complicated… as I had to take care of the children when they came back from school and nursery, that’s when my nightmare started… I had to take care of a very tough 5 year old boy, who wouldn’t listen to me, who spoke to me in such an aggressive way and who was mean. I tried to keep this to myself but even just the thought of it right now gives me the creeps… The little girl wasn’t very easy either but I felt more comfortable with her because she didn’t have that mean behaviour the boy had… The boy really made me have a bad time whenever his parents weren’t there… on top of his nasty way of being with me, he often hit his little sister… I can’t count how many times he pushed her away, having her falling of the floor most of the time and bumping her head there…
On my second day of work I was told in a rather bad way that I was supposed to wash all the clothes of the little girl that were in the laundry room… I had seen them in the afternoon as I washed the school uniform of the boy, but I didn’t think there were enough clothes to fill the washing machine… I didn’t think it was an emergency either because I had a look at the girl’s drawers where her clothes were, and there were still plenty of them… Their former au pair had left the day before… honestly, I thought she had done the work. The mom reproached this to me saying that I wasn’t helping her much and that if I didn’t want to do it I’d have to let her know so that they organise a different way… if you had had somebody talk to you the way she did, I bet you would have answered something… I didn’t, I had not expected to be spoken this way… I just swallowed her words and didn’t say anything…
In the morning of my fourth work day, I said to the father that I was sorry, but that I didn’t wish to stay because I couldn’t do it nervously. I was trembling all the time and couldn’t help but crying. I was really really down and felt sick on top of this. He didn’t understand and said to me that his kids were the two most adorable kids in the world… (was I supposed to say the truth to prove him that they were not ?) I would have to talk to their mother that evening. I apprehended all day long because I didn’t know how she would react…
When she came home she spent some time with the children and said to me that her husband had told her about my decision. I told her how bad I felt and that I was sincerely afraid about what could happen with the children because they don’t listen to me… as long as there’s no danger it’s ok, but what if one day there is danger and they still don’t give a damn to what I say ? She wouldn’t try to understand and started to speak to me as if I were nothing. She said to me that I had to stay until they find somebody else. I said that I would try but that I also hoped that it wouldn’t take too long because I felt really bad. She then gave me an ultimatum, saying that if I don’t want to stay until they find somebody else, then I could go right then. She left me in the kitchen… I stayed alone for a while and had her words turning round in my head… I went to my room and started to pack up my bags…
She came with her husband to ask what I was doing, I said that since she said that I could leave right now if I don’t want to wait for somebody to come and replace me I WAS leaving… her husband asked me to stay one more week, saying that they would talk to their son for him to listen to me, and that they would try to be home more often to make my life easier. That’s when I said that I would stay unless she speaks to me the way she had a couple of minutes before… she didn’t appreciate my being frank and started to talk to me even more meanly as before… so I went on packing my bags.
I went to my car to load it but had to go to it and back to the house about 5 times in order to load all my stuff. By the third time I was going to my vehicle, she came up the stairs as I was going down and although I was carrying two huge bags, she didn’t look to want to let me pass, so I tried to go back up the stairs as difficult as it was with my bags… she went up, pushed me and insulted me before hitting my shoulder twice with her fist and kicking me twice as well. I didn’t reply… all I wanted was to leave even more so as she became violent…
I still had to go to my car twice, she asked me for the keys of the house, I gave them to her with great pleasure because this meant the end of my nightmare…
I left their place around 6.40p.m. and headed to the place of a friend of mine who lives in England… I arrived to this place by 10.30 and although I’m trembling again when I’m telling you my story, I can’t deny that as soon as I was on the motorway, a feeling of relief filled my body.
As if that wasn’t enough, 2 days later, a car bumped mine… I believe I’ll remember this journey to England all my life…

So honestly, to all of those who wish to go to a foreign country to improve their speaking of another language or just to visit it… make sure you use an au pair agency so you’ll have to sign a contract and you’ll have to report to the agency how you’re doing, to make sure that things are okay. It's a kind of garantee.
You have to realise as well that many people take advantage of you because they know that you can’t go home easily and you often have no one to turn to in your host country.
Not to forget, you're also some kind of "cheap work force" because hiring a "real nanny" is more expensive. 

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