Author's product rating: 
| Advantages: |
very insightful, hilarious |
| Disadvantages: |
no sequel that I know of |
| Recommend to potential buyers: |
yes |
Autobiography of a one-year-old is a highly original, and extremely funny wee book, and quite possibly the funniest book of fiction I have ever read.
The author, Rohan Candappa, attempts to shed some light on just what exactly goes on in between those little ears. The way that he does this is perfect, in my opinion, as he writes it all in first person, imagining himself as a toddler, and how he would perceive the world, in journal format. There are many small entries, each concise and to the point, written fluently, and with great humour and insight. These are all divided into the twelve months of the baby’s second year of life.
"Have you noticed that people writing their autobiographies are getting younger and younger? Appalling isn't it? What on earth can they possibly have to write about? My book is, of course, entirely different. I've got loads to write about."
And so the story begins....
Firstly the baby’s parents are introduced, but not as mum and dad as you might expect, rather they are termed hairy and smooth, which I think is quite amusing. Baby starts explaining his relationship with them, which to him seems quite strange. They follow him around all the time, give him everything he wants, pander to his every need, but put him behind bars every night. He doesn’t understand this at all. Neither does he understand why hairy and smooth have been left in charge of him, as to him they seem completely out of their depth.
Secondly baby talks about poo. A lot. And in some detail. Freud would have described this as evidence that the little nipper has reached the anal stage of his psychosexual development, but to me it’s just amusing, if a bit nasty.
As the book progresses, baby displays more and more expertise in his new found skills of walking and talking, and even training hairy and smooth. Sometimes he even thinks that they can understand him, but still the baby talk is used by them on most encounters. Baby’s work in progress…
He discusses nursery rhymes with the reader, and analyses them carefully. For example, “rock-a-bye baby”. He expresses his horror at the thought of a parent leaving a child up a tree in the first place, and then leaving it there, even when the wind picks up. And this is the kind of thing that hairy, or more commonly smooth, fill his mind with while lulling him to sleep. Surely something less disturbing would be a better way of getting a baby to relax into a healthy sleep.
How can a baby be expected to entertain the parents all day long? Their attention spans are so short, their concentration so poor. But baby plays along with all the little games they play with him to keep them amused anyway. Even the tiresome peek-a-boo one. They seem to want to play this one a lot. And every time they uncover baby’s eyes, or remove a cushion from in front of their eyes they expect the same response. Surprise. Well he just has to play along, after all he doesn’t want them getting bored. Peeka-boo! Whoa! That’s never happened before! One minute I couldn’t see them, now there they are! Amazing! Bravo! Again… actually, stop. Please?
Baby does have a favourite game of his own to play though. Whenever Hairy and Smooth are feeding him he attempts to get as much of the food over them as possible. Especially if they are nearly ready to go out. The author lists a whole series of ways in which to do this, including waving his hands around from side to side, or up and down. All of this is done mainly because the stuff they try and feed him apparently tastes horrible. I mean would you eat the stuff you feed to a baby? Gloop, more gloop, or rusks.
As if that wasn’t enough there is also the constant surveillance and listening devices. He gets followed around everywhere he goes, and even in bed he doesn’t get any privacy. Hairy and smooth are listening to his every breath, and keep coming in to check on him. The poor wee guy thinks there is some sort of conspiracy going on. Add to that the fact that every now and then he encounters someone following him who isn’t Hairy or Smooth. Someone who looks just like him, dresses like him and moves like him. And looks right back when Baby looks towards him, and you get one paranoid baby.
"Look, if someone just told me about mirrors..."
But mainly he just makes the best of things, and keeps pressing on in the hope that one day he will be able to communicate effectively with Hairy and Smooth, and takes life one poo at a time.
To sum up, reading this book is like listening into a baby’s thoughts, and getting some insight into what makes them tick. Hilariously written, with the baby seeming to be highly intelligent, and struggling to cope with living with parents that think that peek-a-boo is the best game ever. I really enjoyed reading it, and have come back to it several times. The short journal entry format makes it easy to read, or pick up and open at random, and still find something interesting and funny.
Published by Ebury Press in 2000, Autobiography of a one year old is widely available to buy in the shops, or online from a penny on Amazon and E-bay second hand.
