Bargain Hunt

...:-D) T.V show known as Bargain Hunt. The premise behind the show is really, really simple (and explained, more or less, through the title). Two teams, the reds and blues, of two players each are sent around an antiques fair where they must search for a number of items (they usually end up with three) which they must then sell on, hopefully for a profit, at an auction in a weeks time. The team that makes the biggest profit (or in many cases smallest ...
...the legend that is now Bargain Hunt began. Starting as just another small, daytime TV show it has grown to have a cult following to be proud of. The show, which is now in it’s forth series, is currently shown at 12:00 midday on BBC1 and each episode lasts for 30 minutes. Anyone respectable out there is probably working at that time so get setting those videos if you have never been viewed the show before. For me however there’s no need as I am a ... more

Daytime television. The guiding force that unites Students, Housewives, The Unemployed, The Under Fives and The Over Sixties. The home to second rate American talk shows, quiz shows with viewer questions so ridiculously easy that even tour average big brother contestant would have a chance of winning, The Teletubbies and of course endless repeats of 70’s detective shows. To put it simply: TRASH……absolute rubbish. Or at least that would be if it were not for one man, a king among men, some might even go as far as to say a God. I refer, of course, to the great man himself DAVID DICKINSON. A man with more style than was once thought possible and a way with words that is quite frankly divine.

Now then for those of you that actually have jobs and think that I’m completely insane (you may be partially right there) David Dickinson (or as he’s affectionately known, The Duke) is the presenter of a day time (and now prime time :-D) T.V show known as Bargain Hunt. The premise behind the show is really, really simple (and explained, more or less, through the title). Two teams, the reds and blues, of two players each are sent around an antiques fair where they must search for a number of items (they usually end up with three) which they must then sell on, hopefully for a profit, at an auction in a weeks time. The team that makes the biggest profit (or in many cases smallest loss) is deemed the shows winner and win the most excellent prize of, well, getting to keep the profit that they may have made on there goods. Simple but as I’m annoying I shall go into it in much more detail!

The Regular Daytime Show

Long ago, well ok about 4 years, is where the legend that is now Bargain Hunt began. Starting as just another small, daytime TV show it has grown to have a cult following to be proud of. The show, which is now in it’s forth series, is currently shown at 12:00 midday on BBC1 and each episode lasts for 30 minutes. Anyone respectable out there is probably working at that time so get setting those videos if you have never been viewed the show before. For me however there’s no need as I am a student and therefore am available to watch it most days anyway. Ahhhhh what a sweet hand God has dealt me.

Each show has pretty much the same format. It begins with an introduction for our man David generally talking briefly about some fine country house which is near to the setting of that days shows. But we quickly move on to meeting the competing teams themselves. As I previously mentioned there are two teams of two players and the Dickinson spends a little while getting to know each of them. Oddly they always seem to have either the most unusual hobbies, such as Morris dancing, or some interesting job or other. I believe it must be some sort of condition that you need in order to get onto the show. But that’s fine as it does normally mean we get to see David doing some odd impersonation or singing some odd little song in his most unique way.

Once done the two teams are sent off into an antiques fair, which does always seem to be the largest in the country even though it’s different every time!, with two hundred smackers in their pocket (provided by the BBC of course). There they must search high and low for the best antique buys around. Once found they haggle for the best price possible and if they like what they hear they buy, buy, buy. Then they go off and try and find something else to spend their money wisely on. There’ll be no loitering around here though for the teams are given one hour, and one hour only, to trawl their way through the hundreds of duds to find that fine piece of pottery or silver they have been searching for.

However they are not just sent out on their own. That would just be silly, they’d come back with the biggest pile of trash imaginable. No, each team is given an “expert”, generally some auctioneer or other, who is there to help guide them in their purchases. Sometimes though you do have to wonder why they even bother. Half the time contestants take little or no notice of the advice that the experts give them and the other half the ‘bargains’ that the experts manage to find are actually complete tack as they find out later in auction. There’s one expert in particular, Kate Alcock (who also appears in BBC2’s Flog It), that seems worse than most. I don’t actually recall one of her teams ever making a profit at auction. Basically if you’re given her as an expert you’re screwed!

Now it’s not just the teams that get to enjoy all the fun of the fair. The ‘Bobby Dazzler’ (I’ll talk more about Mr Dickinson’s ‘catchphrases’ in a while) David also enjoys a casual stroll around the place. He’ll search out some bargain or peculiarity or other that he when then report back to all the ‘bargain hunters’ who are more commonly referred to as the viewers.

Once the teams £200, or a proportion of it, has been sent its time for a little interlude featuring our friend David. Here he will visit a stately home or something similar and be generally in ore of a fine piece of Chippendale or Vase worth several hundred thousand pounds. He’ll sing the pieces virtues for a minute or two and then its off to auction we go.

Yep, it’s time for the fun bit of the show and the time to find out the answer to the question ‘will the teams make a profit?’ Well firstly we need to get an experts opinion on the pieces to tell us how they think the pieces are going to sell. Enter the days auctioneer. A quick run through, and generally a criticism, of the pieces with David and then its time to sell, sell, sell. Or at least the contestants hope so!

The teams lots are auctioned in team order so all of the red teams lots will be auctioned first and then the blues lots after or vice-versa. The auction works, well, like an auction really. The auctioneer gives details of the lot in question and then attempts to sell it for the highest price possible. If people in the auction room wanna buy it they stick up their hand. If they don’t then they don’t. It’s as simple as that. As each lot is sold David, who will watch the auction with the relevant team, makes a note of the profit/loss made and when all the goods have gone he totals them up.

Now this is where the major downfall of the show comes. You see the teams buy their goods at an antiques fair. This means that they are basically paying full retail price for the product unless they are absolute haggling masters. However they are selling their goods at an auction where most people are unprepared to pay full retail price as many of the buyers there are retailers themselves looking to make a profit on what they purchase. This means that for the teams making a profit is a tricky task indeed and somewhat of a rarity. I would say that around one in four teams make a small profit in the region of £10-£20 and the majority of the rest lose and often very badly. Loses in the region of £100 are not too uncommon and that is bad when you consider that they only had £200 pounds to start with. Not good bargain hunting my friends. However very occasionally you do get a team that will make a profit worthy of winning. No-one has, as yet, made an outstanding profit though with the record being a little over £300 in profit I believe.

The Other Editions of the Show.

Along with the regular daytime show come two other fruity flavours of bargain hunt. The first is the prime time version of the show. Yes that’s right might friends 8PM Thursday nights and we have non other than David gracing our TV screens again on BBC1. The format of this version of the show is identical to the normal edition except for the fact that this time the teams get a whopping £500 to spend on their purchases not necessarily a good thing though as it gives them more money to lose!

The second was one week of special live editions of the show that took place during early February this year. These shows lasted a whole hour (whoohoo) and were great fun. The fair part of the show was recorded as per usual but the auction was bought to us live. If you are considering going on bargain hunt this is where you want to appear as I believe every single item sold during the live week made a profit. The things people will do to get on TV!

And Finally…..The Man Himself

Ok so you’re probably thinking me quite odd right now especially if you have never experienced David Dickinson first hand but believe me the man is a living legend (well in daytime TV terms anyway). I couldn’t do an Op. on bargain hunt without a least a little section on David himself. He turns the show from an ordinary unwatched daytime prog into the fantastic thing it is. If it weren’t for him there’s no way I’d be writing a review of the show now.

If you wanna imagine David Dickinson simply think a real life Lovejoy (you know the show from the eighties about Lovejoy (Ian McShane) the antiques dealer). David is now infamous for his hair, his fine pin Striped suits and, perhaps most importantly, his ‘catchphrases’. Such gems as ‘Cheap as chips’, ‘a real Bobby Dazzler’ and ‘May I call you girls’ (immortalised in a much spread internet jingle about the man) have really added character and style to the show. They have also given David a huge cult following. There are songs and poems written about him, thousands of devoted websites, Dickinson societies at university and I found out from a German a few days ago that he is beginning to get a cult following over there. Fantastic

Anyway that’s enough from me for now. If you haven’t ever seen it please give it a go. I promise you won’t regret. Phil :)

NB. Anyone who chooses to leave comments ‘dissin’ Bargain Hunt will have a particularly mean pygmy hamster to deal with so don’t. Alright.

 

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