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It’s a well-known fact that of all regional accents in the British Isles, the West Country’s is the most amusing (with the possible exception of Brummie). This Warcraft-esque tale of medieval management and fighting features a great deal of West Country-tinged speech; and, sadly, even as a lad born and bred in the Zummerzet sticks, I have to say it still produces a chuckle. ‘What a darrrk noight!’ your villagers exclaim pointlessly as night falls. ‘Aaohhh, innit luuuhvely,’ they cry when you’re doing well. ‘Faaaahncy a bit of nookie?’ tells you a new bumpkin is on the way. It’s only funny because it’s so pitilessly accurate. The swines. It’s a shame, then, that the rest of the game isn’t quite as engaging as the excellent sound effects. What we have here is a schizoid mix that doesn’t know whether to concentrate on simulation or fighting. As Lord Mildew, you have been banished by the king and must now work your way up the power ladder by building a thriving village economy on each level, of which there are 30. As usual, you start with just a few half-witted bumpkins and must build various structures to make them grow. Peasant huts produce new villagers, but only for a limited time, meaning you continually need to build more (your existing ones grow old and croak it). A farm and wheat fields provide food for the bakery, while your cows give milk and your chickens lay eggs, all of which the villagers have to pay for - thus boosting your economy. As the levels progress, you’re introduced to more sophisticated buildings such as the pub and Guilds, which enable you to train men for specialist jobs. Send a man to the Builder’s Guild and he’ll construct new structures more quickly; the Footman’s Guild produces fighters and the church produces priests. Naturally.