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'Pardon me boy, is that the caramel chew chew?'
'Aisle 29, and it tastes just fine.'
'You'll leave the Pennsylvania ice shop 'bout a quarter to four, read a magazine and then you're in for some more, shove a lot of cream in, gotta keep tum filling, woo woo caramel, you I adore!'
This ice cream makes me happy and when I am happy I like to sing. Perhaps if our Glenn had encountered the delights of Ben and Jrry's caramel chew chew ice cream his version of 'chattanooga choo choo' might have been slightly different and he might have been more interested in eating than flying around the place raising morale with songs and could still be alive today.
While I cannot promise that dedicating your life to the worship of Ben and Jerry's will save your life, I can promise that tasting this tub will change your life (although possibly not for the benefit of your pocket or your waistline).
The ice cream is temporarily stored in a 500 ml tub (until transferred to your tummy). The picture on the front is of large chocolatey lumps surrounded by a river of cascading caramel (although this unfortunately looks more like the contents of Winnie the Pooh's toilet after a heavy night) on a pale yellow background.
Ben and Jerry's representations of their ice creams on the tubs are normally quite accurate and give you a fair idea of what to expect from the contents. In this case, however, you would only be tempted by the pictures if you think that bear vomit and bear poo are the best culinary delights since delia smith baked roasted her football boots in pastry.
On the back of the tub, however, are the stylised Ben and Jerry's cows who are only too aware of how delicious the product is. They almost bust a gut eating grass all day to produce this delicacy and have only ever managed to taste it when some fell off the back of Farmer Barleymow's tractor (apologies to Bod). If you don't finish your tub I know of a couple of bovines who would be happy to finish it for you.
The product consists of a base of caramel ice cream containing swirls of soft caramel and lumps of harder caramel coated in chocolate.
The thought of a caramel ice cream sounds rather sickly but the light colouring of the frosty wasteland promises otherwise and indeed, the ice cream is not too sweet but subtly caramelly (this word may well appear in the next edition of the Oxford English Dictionary), with the flavour being highlighted by the streams of caramel which run through it.
The caramel streaks are just the right consistency, so that it is soft enough to lift out of the tub without needing to put pressure on your spoon but hard enough so that lovely luscious threads of it are left hanging in the balance between your spoon and the ice cream.
As for the chocolate-coated caramel lumps, what can I say? Orgasmic. When you bite through the chilled chocolate, the crunchiness of the chocolate shell immediately contrasts with and complements the soft caramel lurking inside. The interesting combination of textures is enhanced by the soft smooth velvetiness of the ice cream.
Ben and Jerry's have done it again, producing an ice cream with interesting combinations of flavours and textures that combine perfectly to provide a truly luxurious eating experience.
So, next time you are 'In the Mood', dress up for the occasion in a 'String of Pearls', order '65000' tubs of Caramel Chew Chew and enjoy. I predict that there won't be any left over for those hungry mookie dooks*.
* For those of you who haven't seen the draft copy of next year's OED, this means cows.