Advantages Chocolate Heaven
Disadvantages Fat girlfriend from hell
It all happened one lazy autumn Sunday evening, the agenda was set, lounging around in our student squalor, with the comedy genius that is Eddy Izzard to keep us entertained on the VCR. As I ventured out our kitchen on the prowl for some sweet matter to occupy my taste buds for the duration, the signs weren’t good, a jam sandwich was the best offering I could muster, but it would have to suffice. As I completed the sarny and slapped the top layer of the bread on, I noticed a delicate garnish of mould dotted artistically across the surface. Even my student hygiene carefree instinct could not overcome this fungal obstacle, so I decided to bight the bullet and trek the whole 20 meter walk to the chocolate playground that is Ali’s newsagents.On entering I was greeted by the difficult decision of which one of these colourful hopefuls I should take home for a sticky night of pleasure. While debating this matter, a mysterious magnetic pull had gripped my head and was slowly turning it until it pointed it in the direction of this brightly coloured, intriguing looking display unit. My feet had involuntary begun to march me over for an encounter with this hypnotic structure. On closer inspection this was in fact a freezer, a blue and green colour scheme, emblazoned with pictures of Friesian cows. This customised creation housed row upon row of ‘Ben and Jerry’s’ ice cream.
The decision had been made for me, I had to embrace this new world to see if it could cast a ray of sunshine into my life. Each of the wide selection of flavours were imaginatively titled with names such as ‘Phish food’, ‘Cherry Garcia’, ‘from Russia with Buzz’, etc. but the candidate which won my £3.95 was the ‘chocolate fudge brownie’ The deal was done and as I scampered excitedly back to my lair, the frozen exterior of the tub enticed me by delivering an aching sensation to my finger-tips.I cleared a spaced amongst the mountain of dirty dishes, pizza boxes and food scraps to set the tub on the work surface in order search for a clean spoon. As I lifted my head a snap-shot vision of the old limp jam sandwich next to this new enigma greeted me, a spiritual experience like ‘ying and yang’ ‘light and dark’ ‘pleasure and pain’ ‘good and evil’ get the picture?
The unpretentious charm of this old-school cardboard container commands a culinary respect, coupled with the distinctive but classical cartoon theme, it really does appeal to the eyes and hopefully the mouth.After washing up a spoon, I strode like a young warrior embarking on his first battle into the lounge, the video had already started and there were a host of inquisitive looks as I removed the lid to reveal a steaming sight of solid blended shades of brown. Without hesitation I plunged the spoon into its hart and scooped out its soul, as I slipped the spoon into my mouth and sucked the first scoop, a chocolate orgy started engaging with my tongue, lambasting my taste-buds. The chocolate flavour was so intense yet masterfully managing not to cross the border of being sickly. The real genius of this concoction is the inclusion of the chunky pieces of brownie, adding a delightful texture which elevate it to another, this is truly a new benchmark in the ice cream world.
Before I knew it the journey had ended and I was pitifully pressing my face against the rim of the tub trying to hyperextend my tongue to lap up the remains. A thoroughly enjoyable experience. I will not bore or frighten you with the details of the ingredients, but if you are a chocophilic, trust me and give this a try! It is a tad pricey for a poor student, but that’s what the loan is for!Since then I have experimented with the various flavours and only one has disappointed, so pot pickers here’s a run down of ‘what’s hot’ and ‘what’s not’ in the B and J chart!
1. Chocolate fudge brownie
2. From Russia with Buzz
3. Carimel Chew Chew
4. Cherry Garcia
5. One sweet Whirled
6. Phish Food
7. Hi honey I’m home
8. Cookie dough
9. Half baked
10. Berry Nice
Hope you have an enjoyable licking!
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