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You would've thought that a masculine brand name like Ben Sherman would be mastering the steel artistry of BBQ Sets, or perhaps you should see the name printed on the back of a dirty coal truck, next to handwritten smudge of a raconteur. 'If you fink this is dirty, you aint met my missus!'.
Indeed, on the contrary, Ben Sherman the brand is more at home in androgynous circles, where fashion matters, apparently. (Clears throat) Where glitz and glamour rule the quirky feminine hand gestures wave - where air kisses are frequently acted out on a superfluous greeting, a good eight inches away from ones cheek; three times - imitating a moving Polar Bear outside Santa's Grotto.
On receiving my Ben Sherman watch I had the honour of opening the black shrunken coffin box it lived in prior to clinging onto my wrist for dear life. Inside the mini coffin sits a white plastic cloth; this was Ben Sherman's bed, aided with a dainty cushion, to help prop up the master of timekeeping Ben Sherman. On introduction, I found him posing, all curved up and erect, watch face gleaming and shiny, his glass eye glinted when daylight entered his vacant watch face. Sherman loves himself so much he incessantly has his hands circling his face; as if he's conducting a minute by minute caress,
going clockwise. It's a timeless procedure. Even when I pull out his side knob and twist gently Sherman only then allows me full control of his hands - yes, its normal behaviour for all analogue watches while twiddling with their knobs. The process is the only time, I have full control of the time, for a short time - it takes about seven seconds to correct the time, from the time of getting Sherman's knob out, to popping it back in. Remember to put his knob back into its original position, otherwise his ticker will remain motionless and Sherman is then as good as useless. By hearing the satisfactory click of his knob, you'll know you've turned him on; thereafter he should perform, you would have thought.
Sherman's leather strap has a wide enough girth to fit comfortably around my wrist, I tend to let him hang loose partly due to disliking watch strap marks which in the past embedded their body and soul into my left wrist, without thought of how it may look - hardly a fashion statement that'll catch on; especially when bathing by a turquoise pool on holiday. Watch out for the added burden of white strap marks as well; Sherman won't give you a timely reminder that the UV solar rays don't penetrate through his watch form, he'll be like you on his back baking at 220 C. One small detail that does concern me about Sherman's frame-work around his face is that oil base products such as sun lotion do have a tendency to tint his shiny metal gloss. Over the past eight months his complexion appears more copper in colour than previously. Splashes of acetone hasn't helped either, so the most exposed parts of his face looks distinctly like the colour of David Dickinson's facial varnish. Sherman wasn't as cheap as chips; he was a special Avon offer of 29.99 GB, originally fifty smackers. It was the 'Real Deal'.
When it comes to studs, I'm not enamoured - Sherman has eight small studs set-out similar to dominos in style (four on each side) of his white face. Embossed on the leather is the letters 'F F P' and underneath it states '12 specification' and a code number of 'FFPA - FA - 234'. The code looks as if Sherman was in the forces of some kind, before being boxed off to my door. When asked? Sherman 'tutted' to himself, just like he always does. I'm not sure why Sherman has a dash fetish in-place of the digits?' All the numbers on his face are slightly raised elongated dashes, not dissimilar to car park tarmac lineage. This mysterious case of raised dashes on his face makes me ponder if Ben Sherman has a deformity. Why do manufacturers assume the consumer knows what numbers go where? Perhaps it was a fad that the fashion world had imposed on Ben Sherman's face - naturally deemed as too manly maybe, so had to be shimmied up, like a Julian Clarey.
Sherman Does the Time Warp.
With Sherman being a 'Quartz watch movement type', you may've believed Sherman could effectively tell me the time - sadly not - I don't trust him. I've found Sherman to have his knob out at the most inconvenient times, with his hands where they shouldn't be. The odd thing is his knob is quite stiff to pull up at the best of times; sometimes I have to get it up with my two front teeth - and apply the hands in the right place. Sherman maybe deformed and unreliable, although time hasn't come to warrant Sherman to a car boot sale yet. His hands generally are ten minutes ahead of schedule regardless the number of times I get his knob out, to correct his wayward hands. Another annoyance is his leather strap end tends to separate into two parts - a Ben Sherman manufacturing error, because several people have told me they had the same problem with their leather strap.
Well written and enjoyable to read! I often wondered about the watches bearing the Sherman name. I bet someone else makes then under another label! The clothing line should be something this company should stick to.