First things first: my deepest, sincerest apologies for the title. Blame Bnibbles, a man not at all afraid to capitalise on the power of innuendo.
Earplugs are, to be honest, not something I ever pictured myself writing a review about. They're quite dull and mundane things, really. They ... Read review
Advantages: Eliminate most noise, comfortable. Disadvantages: Do not eliminate Irish mothers.
First things first: my deepest, sincerest apologies for the title. Blame Bnibbles, a man not at all afraid to capitalise on the power of innuendo.
Earplugs are, to be honest, not something I ever pictured myself writing a review about. They're quite dull and mundane things, really. They are essential though, if you're any of the following:
- an insomniac/a light sleeper;
- working night shifts;
- a bastion ... ...- unfortunate enough to have my mother as your mother. If this is so, well, I can't say I'm surprised but boy has she got some explaining to do.
Out of those four categories, I fall into 1 and 4 all the time, and 3 on one day of the year.
I've never been great at sleeping and once a year the local Orangemen and their supporters like to don fancy dress and take to the streets. Now, I don't begrudge anyone a party ... more
First things first: my deepest, sincerest apologies for the title. Blame Bnibbles, a man not at all afraid to capitalise on the power of innuendo.
Earplugs are, to be honest, not something I ever pictured myself writing a review about. They're quite dull and mundane things, really. They are essential though, if you're any of the following:
- an insomniac/a light sleeper; - working night shifts; - a bastion of middle-class calm next to a chav-ridden housing estate; - unfortunate enough to have my mother as your mother. If this is so, well, I can't say I'm surprised but boy has she got some explaining to do.
Out of those four categories, I fall into 1 and 4 all the time, and 3 on one day of the year.
I've never been great at sleeping and once a year the local Orangemen and their supporters like to don fancy dress and take to the streets. Now, I don't begrudge anyone a party but when the housing estate that backs onto my street have a massive bonfire, hire the kind of sound system that puts Glastonbury to shame and put out a call to arms for the most spectacularly stupid and uninspired DJ ever to lay his hand on the decks ('Alright lads! This is DJ Loyalist Larry from the Orange massive! Mark? Your Ma says you're to have your tea before you go to the bonfire. Right folks, let's burn the pope to the sounds of, erm, Amy Winehouse. Yeah!') and they're still going strong at 3 in the morning, ear plugs are called for.
Aside, though, from the obvious 'helping you to get to sleep' benefits of ear plugs, they do have another, rather vital, use: without ear plugs it's likely that my mother and I would have come to blows long ago. The trick, I have established, is to listen to the first five minutes of conversation without responding. This, I find, is ample time to establish whether or not the conversation will veer along a path that ends with me wanting to punch her. If it looks like it's heading in that direction, I excuse myself to the toilet, slip in ear plugs and return, deaf to pretty much all that she says and capable of smiling and nodding beatifically. You can, of course, go the route my stepfather chose and ACTUALLY go deaf, but that seems like an awful lot of effort.
Conversations I've managed to miss while happily ear plugged up have been:
'People always thought you were a quiet baby, but it's because I got you drunk on sherry and kept you that way until you were six months old.'
'Your cousin in America is the same age as you and much more successful.'
'Are potatoes animals, or vegetables?'
'Why don't I have grandchildren yet?'
'I'd love a grandchild.'
'You could adopt a Chinese baby and then just give it to me. No one would need to know.'
'Do you think I'm too old to have a baby?'
Honestly, you've no idea how many Christmases these things have helped me survive (trust me, combine them with the anaesthetic properties of a bottle of Jack Daniels that you've had the foresight to stash in the cloakroom, and you're pretty much invincible). Anyway, now that we've established why you might need them, here's a quick overview of how earplugs work. For those of you who wish to treat the opening of the ear plug box as a personal revelation, look away…now!
What are ear plugs?
Well, they're plugs you put in your ears. No, honest to God, really they are. They're little cone shaped wedges of magic foam stuff that moulds itself to the shape of your ear when inserted and blocks out sound.
Will they hurt?
Not unless you insert them with a hammer, no. The foam is very soft and squishy and will expand to the size of your ear canal, creating a snug fit without putting your ear under undue pressure.
How should I put them in?
With a hammer! No, no, I jest. You should only take that option if you're a) looking to get semi-rich quick off of You've Been Framed or b) someone I don't like. Otherwise you should squeeze it between finger and thumb, and then gently and slowly slide it into your ear canal (you know, if I hadn't used the words 'ear canal' right at the last minute there, this could so be a line taken right out of a low-end erotic fiction novel. Not that I read that kind of stuff. Hell no. I'm just saying, is all) until the end of it is sitting just inside your ear lobe, i.e., don't push it so far in that minor surgery is going to be required to fish it out again. Once it's in you'll feel it expand (do you see what I'm saying about the erotic fiction?) and fit into place. Then you can do the other ear. Unless you're deaf in the other ear. You'll probably not need to bother in that case, unless you like your ears to feel symmetrical.
How should I take them out?
Grip the end of the ear plug between finger and thumb and gently twist and pull simultaneously.
Will they make me deaf?
No. They won't eliminate all noise, either, so don't fret about not being able to hear the alarm/smoke alarm/footsteps of a deranged and vicious serial killer (who you just know has been stalking your house for the last week but you didn't want to say anything to anybody in case they thought you were being a bit paranoid and now you totally wish you'd mentioned it, even in passing) as he tiptoes up the stairs having gained entry through the downstairs window you so carelessly left open.
It's tricky to explain, but once in they reduce noise to a very low-level hum that your brain seems capable of tuning out, allowing you to get to sleep. Strident noises like alarms and loud, nearby sounds penetrate this easily and will wake you up.
Will they fall out?
Unless you've managed to put them in wrongly, or have ears of such cavernous dimensions that they'd put the BFG to shame, no.
Will they cost loads of money?
Depends on whether you're poor or not, I s'pose. They're under three quid, but if you've already spent all your dole money on Stella and The Racing Post (this may sound harsh, but chavs have besmirched my little middle-class existence this weekend, and this is my revenge. If you are a nice person who happens to be on the dole temporarily and drinks Stella as a recreational activity, rather than with the kind of dedication that most people apply to their careers, I apologise) you can probably use wadded up toilet paper as a viable alternative. Otherwise, you get three pairs for your money and they're intended to be disposable. Unless your ears are clogged with industrial quantities of wax, though, you can get a few uses out of each pair. They also come in a little plastic carrying case, which is handy if you need to pop them in your luggage.
Can they be dangerous?
If you're my mother: yes. If you're normal: no. My mother will happily recount (oftentimes to complete strangers she bumps into in the pharmacy aisle of the supermarket) the tale of the time she put her earplugs in before going to bed, and then had a series of incredibly vivid, realistic dreams. One of these was that she had been at restaurant and had ordered a seafood platter. In the dream she bit into a prawn, only to find it incredibly tough and rubbery. Upon awakening, she discovered that, yes, she'd happily eaten both her ear plugs in her sleep. In theory, they could have choked her. In reality, nothing short of a big stick and a sustained battering's going to kill my mother.
Where can I get them?
Are you retarded? What's the name of the product, eh?
Should I buy them?
If you have trouble sleeping, probably. If you're female and have an Irish mother, then they're pretty much compulsory.
Advantages: Easy to use, reasonably effective Disadvantages: They slip oout, they don't cut out all the noise
...to right>
I chose Boots because, if I’m honest, it was the only place I thought of that might sell them. You can find them with the other travel accessories and Boots stores sell a range of about four or five different types of plug. As far as I can see, they are all a variation on the same theme, but I chose this particular type because they were disposable. One of the things that has always made me turn my nose up is the thought of ear plugs ... ...use out of each pair. Boots do a similar product that lasts better and can be washed and re-used several times for roughly the same price. If you’re going to need them regularly, you’d be better of with the re-usable type. But for occasional, fairly limited usage then these disposable ones are quite effective, easy and comfortable to use and will cut out most of the noise.
So in the absence of more effective and enjoyable ways to get ...
LostWitness 07.07.2004
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Boots Soft Disposable Ear Plugs
Advantages: Cheap, effective, easy to use Disadvantages: None
...we stopped off at the Boots store in Kings Cross station and bought the cheapest ear plugs available: Boots soft disposable foam earplugs. The little box contains three pairs of bright orange ear plugs, enough for me, my boyfriend and one spare for next time. The back of the box contains instructions for how to use the earplugs. Basically, you squeeze the narrower end and shove them in your ears. It takes them four diagrams to tell you this! You ... ...little weird to me at first, since I've never worn ear plugs before. But, they weren't at all uncomfortable and they did block out the noise extremely well. I can't say how well they work compared with other brands, because these are the only brand I've ever tried. I can't see myself wanting to try other brands, since these were the cheapest in the shop and performed as well as I'd hoped. I managed to get about six hours sleep, despite lying on the ...
87degrees 19.01.2008
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Boots Soft Disposable Ear Plugs
Advantages: Block out all noises, soft and easy to use and not too expensive Disadvantages: MAy cause an infection if you are not careful
I have been using Boots Disposable Earplugs for a few months and I can honestly highly recommend them to anyone who needs to block out noises during the night, in order to aid restful sleep. I have been married for forty-five years and I would say that during the past ten to fifteen years my wife has developed an annoying habit of snoring very loudly throughout most of the night. She tells me i am also guilty of this, but obviously as i am asleep ... ...accidentally. I was in Boots the Chemist one day actually looking for some corn pads when I came across these. Boots apparently make a fairly wide range of earplugs but what attracted me to these is that they are advertised as being disposable, and I thought they might be more hygienic. They cost me £2.99 and come in a box consisting of three pairs and a nice little round white plastic container to put them inside. I will be honest with you here, ...
FRIENDLYFRANK 21.10.2007
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Boots Soft Disposable Ear Plugs
Advantages: you can sleep better Disadvantages: not all noises are shut out
I´d like to quote a comment I found on an op on ear plugs: ´I figure there isn't a lot you can say about earplugs!´ Wrong! Never despise or deride the small things. One of the best minds in Italy, a professor of Philosophy at the University of Florence, sees earplugs among the greatest inventions of humankind. So there!
What can these inconspicuous thingies achieve?
- Save money
Imagine a couple with one snoring partner. At home they´ve got separate ... ...and happiness. What when they go on holiday? They need two single rooms which combined cost more than a double room (and - as every traveller knows - are invariably situated beside the lift or the toilets or face the backyard or all things together).
- Save marriages
What do people do who can´t afford two separate bedrooms? If both snore and sleep soundly, no probs, but if only one partner does so, it´s hell for the other. If the non-snoring partner ...
MALU 18.08.2004 (19.08.2004)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Boots Soft Disposable Ear Plugs
Advantages: Soft, easy to apply and the shape seems to last Disadvantages: They slip out and don't effectively block out the noise
...I bought some of the Boots ear plugs which are a sort of pinkinsh / putty colour (a bit non-descript in other words). I found that these plugs were a bit on the soft side, which on the positive side made them easy to roll up and put in your ear, but on the negative side meant that they didn't fit too well and sometimes slipped out. The main draw back however, is that they don't effectively cut out the noise which means that the type of noise that ... ...think the soft texture of them means they aren't as dense and so sound can penetrate easier. A positive is that they do seem to keep their shape a lot longer than their yellow foam counter parts. So I guess the trade off is longevity and ease of application against effectiveness. ...
LouMG 11.03.2008
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: somewhat helpful Review of Boots Soft Disposable Ear Plugs
