Burnt Toast - Teri Hatcher

...possible. So when I saw Burnt Toast by Teri Hatcher on the shelf I decided that it would be a good one to read next and I'm glad I did because whilst its not as inspirational and life changing as the blurb tries to make out, it is an interesting, refreshing and surprisingly engaging account of someone's pursuit for perfection -and eventual realisation that perfection is neither attainable nor desirable.- Hatcher doesn't take herself too seriously ...
...is a shame then that Burnt Toast is aimed mainly at a female audience - Hatcher has more than enough insight and wisdom to appeal to members of both genders and she occasionally descends into the kind of man bashing that alienates that audience. I have no problem with her expressing her experiences and opinions of men, but these parts of the book feel forced and overdone, as if she is trying to appeal to a female audience, without any real point ... more

I like to read auto-biographies; I love learning about peoples struggles, their achievements, their passions and truly believe that when reading someone's memoirs your reading a little piece of their soul, your taking a snippet of their wisdom and you are experiencing a moment in time that affected them in some way. I believe you can learn more from an autobiography than any other form of literature and I try my hardest to read them as often as possible. So when I saw Burnt Toast by Teri Hatcher on the shelf I decided that it would be a good one to read next and I'm glad I did because whilst its not as inspirational and life changing as the blurb tries to make out, it is an interesting, refreshing and surprisingly engaging account of someone's pursuit for perfection -and eventual realisation that perfection is neither attainable nor desirable.- Hatcher doesn't take herself too seriously which helps the book steer away from the whiny, preachy, ditzy read that I feared and actually comes across as a genuinely nice, intelligent and down to earth woman who suffers with exactly the same problems as everyone else and her ideas on parenting and life feel fresh and unique.

After two failed marriages, a long period as a Hollywood has been, a lifetime of crippling insecurities and the constant fear that she just isn't -and never will be- good enough, Teri Hatcher has a lot of issues to draw upon and usually has something witty and interesting to say about them. Like when probing her need to put others before herself and her fear of success she write 'Knowing what you want and not admitting it to yourself can be tough, especially if you're a chicken like me. But its even harder to find your authentic path when you have to contend with the pressures of family, friends, and strangers. People laugh at you, undermine your beliefs, or kindly and sincerely want something different for you, and it makes following your own path much harder' which is something that we can all relate to male, female, happy or unhappy. She comes up with these wonderful analogies on life that ring true -which is sometimes pleasing, but more often than not worrying- and manages to encapsulate so many feelings into a sentence that you can't help but feel some sort of connection with her, she's human -sure, she's a beautiful, rich and successful human- but she is human never the less.

By the end of the book she garners so much good will for herself that - whether you want to or not- you end up rooting for her and genuinely wishing that she reaches the state of happiness that she desires. She is prepared to work for contentment and through recognising and realising that she isn't perfect, I think she will get there. I for one was surprised by how well she writes, she writes with fluidity and warmth and humour and whilst she won't ever be regarded as one of the worlds greatest writers -a title I feel she would be uncomfortable receiving anyway- she manages to sideline the stiltedness and laborious feel that many of these celebrity/come writer often instil in their books. She finds her groove almost straight away and shoots through both humorous and painful accounts with the confidence and style of someone who has been writing for most of their life. Surprisingly enough her accounts of the most painful times in her life have an essence of humour engrained into them, which proves that under all the layers of vulnerability she is a warrior -even though she may to hide it from herself and others.-

Hatcher teaches a lot of lessons; the importance of making time for yourself, the benefits of having close friends, how delayed gratification can help you as a person, why it important to look at nature, the advantages of admitting your strengths and accepting your vulnerabilities and how spending time with your children can be as rewarding as with your close friends. All these lessons -which could of been preachy- are injected with such resilience and warmth that they do make some sort of impact on you. There are things that she writes about that I can relate to -like staying up till three o'clock in the morning wondering what I would do if there were a fire in the house, or whether I would be brave enough to run in and same someone- and I doubt there is anyone who wouldn't relate to something she says. It is refreshing to see a celebrity being so honest about their flaws and insecurities, she freely admits that she has made mistakes and her willingness to share them is surprisingly endearing. She has little quirks, little cracks on the surface, lingering demons and what makes her such lovely person to read about is her readiness to fight them. She uses every weapon at her disposal to make each and every day better than the one before, I like her attitude towards life and I think if I ever met her I would like her to, she's a worker, a fighter and a fiercely independent identity -which more often than not works against her- but she's also genuinely nice and that comes out in her writing.

It is a shame then that Burnt Toast is aimed mainly at a female audience - Hatcher has more than enough insight and wisdom to appeal to members of both genders and she occasionally descends into the kind of man bashing that alienates that audience. I have no problem with her expressing her experiences and opinions of men, but these parts of the book feel forced and overdone, as if she is trying to appeal to a female audience, without any real point or anything new to say. What makes Burnt Toast so interesting is the lessons that Teri Hatcher has learnt because of the bad situations she has found herself, and I don't feel that the lessons she learned from her bad relationships are as compelling as the ones that came from single motherhood or her career. Also, when she uncovers a truth or has a good idea -which she frequently does- she tends to repeat it throughout the book so they can become tiresome and repetitive. While her analogy about Burnt Toast 'Toast. You know when you're trying to make it and you just can't get it right? It's too light or too soft, then totally burned. Are you the type of person who tries to scrape of the black? Or do you smother it with jam to hide the taste? Do you throw it away, or do you just eat it' is an interesting take on parents sacrificing their own enjoyment for the pleasure of their children, it becomes a little boring after 30 pages of hammering the message home.

Still, even with these flaws that do eventually grate Burnt Toast remains heartfelt and funny and interesting with enough material to keep an audience hooked and a surprising dose of well earned wisdom. Perhaps her biggest achievement is the level of intimacy she manages to create. By the end of the book I felt as if I knew her and -even though I am ashamed to admit it- I was sad when the book finished, I felt as if I had just had my last conversation with a close friend. I valued her opinion and comments on life and I really enjoyed reading them for a couple of days. After visiting Africa and unloading her emotional baggage in the barren wilderness and feeling for the first time a sense of relief from everything she writes 'I think of Africa, a place that was, is, and will always be bigger and stronger than I am. There's comfort in that. I'm not free floating and alone. Africa is big enough to contain me and all my emotional litter. And so I urge you to look for the place or book or being that can do the same for you. Do the daily work. Make the small changes. Follow your chosen path. And, when the time is right you'll find your Africa. When you release the weight of your past, you'll see that it still teaches you without controlling you. You're unburdened. You can appreciate being exactly where you are as you move in the direction that you want to go. You can see what is, and what can be. Will be. And that's enough.'

So I say, good luck Teri Hatcher. You have crafted a book that is both enlightening and entertaining. It teaches that most of al we are all a work in progress, we are all human and all have the same worries and feelings. You have worked for your happiness and are continuing on you path. We all should do the same. So thanks for sharing and for progressing.

'But along the way to becoming who you are, even the smallest, seemingly obscure interactions can unexpectedly direct your mood positively or negatively.'
- Teri Hatcher, Burnt Toast 

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