Can Long-Distance Relationships Work?

Can long distance relationships work?

I can answer a resounding 'yes' to that.

When people ask this question it usually means long distance relationship within the same country. My long distance relationship was with a girl in Holland after moving to Holland five years ago, we are still together.

The relationship started out because of a common interest in a band that we both followed called ‘Infadels’.

Lara was just a girl I knew from the bands forum and we used to chat about the band and other music and stuff in general. Then Lara had the opportunity to visit London for an Infadels gig. We met up and had a fun time at the gig and for the next six months we chatted as before.

Infadels then decided to throw a Christmas gig and after party in 2006. Lara came over to London again and we spent the day together and then she came to stay at my house for a week. We had a lot of fun and really hit it off and both agreed that there could be more than friendship there in the future but agreed to take it slow.

I then flew to Holland for a week and we had a brill time. We had both missed each other over the last couple of months and it was good to get back together again and be able to speak face to face in the flesh instead of on a webcam.

When I flew back to England we really missed each other and my bosses of twelve years had just done a runner with the money and everyone was out of a job without any redundancy or a reference. I had been working with young offenders and was shattered anyway. I thought I could do with a break and in August 2007 I flew back to Holland.

I decided to stay and made one more trip back to England to sell off my stuff and my flat and then flew back to Holland in October 2007 and have been there ever since.

So yes, long distance relationships can work. If the two people involved really love and care for each other, then yes. Fortunately for us, we are both laid back people and are not jealous or possessive in anyway. So the issue of trust was easy and was not really an issue at all for us.

I had lived alone for a while as my previous partner was killed in an accident so it could have been difficult for me to live with a partner but it wasn’t. Even now, five years later, we don’t live in each other’s pockets and we do our own thing if and when we want to. It’s easy and relaxed.

I should imagine that a possessive, jealous or clingy person would find a long distance relationship very hard.

The worst thing about a long distance relationship, especially when it is two different countries is it can be hard when you’re missing the other person. It’s not as easy as hopping in the car or on a train or bus. Years ago it would have been very difficult indeed but with technology today you can chat on all kinds of messengers, chat on webcams or even better still use Skype and chat to each other for free for as long as you want.

If I make it sound rather easy to do, then, to be honest, that’s because it was really. I dare say it could be made more difficult for someone if both of the involved parties had commitments but then it depends on what is more important to you in the long run.

Another obstacle is family and friends. The person who moves has to be willing to give up family and friends to a certain extent. By this I obviously mean that you will be in a foreign country, in my case, or another city and you have to adapt to a life without your family around. It can be difficult but like I said with technology nowadays it is easy to keep in touch. I was an only child and my parents knew that they would miss me and I them but they told me to go for it, so I was lucky again in that sense. Maybe a less secure family would make you feel guilty or lay down demands. I can only say that that must be an awful situation to be in.

I don’t regret my move for one minute and I am glad we met and got together.

I’ve been in Holland for five years and I live five minutes from the sea and my local town is The Hague, so whenever I go out I still feel like I am on holiday; only this holiday is a permanent one. It is a really good feeling and it all came about because I decided to embark on a long distance relationship. I took a risk, or I should say a leap of faith and it paid off. Maybe not all stories will be happy ones but I can assure you that mine is.

I am flying back to England in three weeks and it will feel like a holiday as well, so I get the best of both worlds really. I have flew back once before, but that was three years ago.

So I can honestly answer ‘Yes’ that they do work because I am living proof that they do.

I could have gone on but the maximum wordage is only 1000 words....oh well :0)

©Lee Billingham