Some people still cannot receive Channel Five where they live. While they may moan about it, they don’t know how lucky they are. I’m not sure what the competition comprised of when C5 won the right to broadcast, but it must have been pretty awful. What follows is my first completely ... Read review
Some people still cannot receive Channel Five where they live. While they may moan about it, they don’t know how lucky they are. I’m not sure what the competition comprised of when C5 won the right to broadcast, but it must have been pretty awful. What follows is my first completely negative review of a TV station. If you like C5, it’s best you look away now or prepare to be offended.
If C5 has one redeeming feature ... ...the subscription-based Sky One, a channel that offers marginally better programming. Its only other redeeming feature is that it has news on the hour, but with its horribly tasteless and bright graphics and studio, it is sore on the eye to watch. And when I have BBC News 24 I know where my zapper turns for news bulletins.
And that’s as far as C5’s redeeming features reach. The last Tory government might have been convinced ... more
Some people still cannot receive Channel Five where they live. While they may moan about it, they don’t know how lucky they are. I’m not sure what the competition comprised of when C5 won the right to broadcast, but it must have been pretty awful. What follows is my first completely negative review of a TV station. If you like C5, it’s best you look away now or prepare to be offended.
If C5 has one redeeming feature it is that few people are actually stupefied enough to watch it. Its viewing figures are awful, only just better than the subscription-based Sky One, a channel that offers marginally better programming. Its only other redeeming feature is that it has news on the hour, but with its horribly tasteless and bright graphics and studio, it is sore on the eye to watch. And when I have BBC News 24 I know where my zapper turns for news bulletins.
And that’s as far as C5’s redeeming features reach. The last Tory government might have been convinced that the controllers of C5 could offer the nation a sufficient service, but maybe that’s an adequate summing up of the reign of Major and his pack of publicly schooled imbeciles. There is no TV station that I receive that is worse than C5 and I can back this up in court if need be.
Part of the station’s promise in its beginnings was to bring a movie a night. It doesn’t take Barry Norman and Eddie George to figure out that C5’s budget would equate to them only being able to afford Made-For-TV movies, in turn leading to shite movies…every night. For some reason they all seem to be true stories about a mother’s search for her kidnapped daughter or a daughter’s search for her long-lost mother. These movies are invariably called "Help Me Find My Daughter" or "In Search of Mom". Moving stuff, I can tell you.
C5 also offers soap operas. Most of these are American affairs made on a budget smaller than Partick Thistles like The Bold And The Beautiful and the cult tripe Sunset Beach. It also offers its own home-grown soap, Family Affairs. The last time I watched this show, they still hadn’t blown up all the main characters, so I’m unsure of the ‘plot’, if it can be blessed with such a description, at present.
In terms of sport the channel used to offer a football show called Turnstlye on Saturday mornings. Scarily, they have the rights to every Ireland and Scotland away fixture, so without RTE here in Scotland, I’ll have to watch their truly awful coverage with the ever annoying Jonathan thingy. They also seem to offer crappy American sports in the middle of the night, not to cater for minorities but because it’s all they can afford.
Clogging up the graveyard schedules with American sports means that C5 has no time to show soft pornography…during the night. Instead this ‘entertainment’ has filled their primetime airwaves. So C5 certainly caters for paedophiles and people with sex fetishes when most of us are tucking into our dinners.
C5 seems to model itself on it’s Americanised counterpart Sky One, but without the odd big American show, it has absolutely nothing to offer. Like Sky and ITV it enjoys bringing us such hilarious gems as America’s Biggest Tidal Waves and Africa’s Longest Famines (probably). There’s nothing like watching human beings die in the face of disaster eh?
During the day it could be argued that C5 is little worse than anyone else. Daytime schedules seem to be designed to get the unemployed back to work. And with Leeza and Gloria Hunniford to digest (no, not literally) just after breakfast, I know what I’d rather do.
This has been my shortest TV review so far, but that’s because I have so little to say about this channel. I could write paragraphs blaming the Tories for unleashing this horror, but would it do any good. I honestly think I’ll rearrange my channels so that C5 doesn’t even need to be skipped over anymore. If you can’t receive C5, you my friends, are truly blessed.
Advantages: Some excellent dramas and films Disadvantages: Too many cheaply made programmes
When Channel Five first started a few years ago it soon got a reputation of relying on cheap American imports, even cheaper home produced programmes and a regular diet of soft porn films, soaps and repeats to fill its schedules. Not surprisingly, it was dismissed by most people as being a waste of time. However since its re-launch and name change it has become a much better channel and now does have the calibre of programmes that can tempt viewers ... ...why you might consider watching Channel 5
Number 10- Minority Sports
Five provides a good coverage of many sports that these days would not otherwise be seen on terrestrial TV. They might not be to everyone’s taste but part of the remit of this channel was to cater for minority interests. At various days during the week you can see; American Football, Kickboxing, Boxing, Australian Rules Football, Motorsports (including drag racing and bike racing), ...
Mauri 21.09.2000 (04.12.2002)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Channel 5
Advantages: Some good football on 5, odd good film Disadvantages: Tacky adverts, a lot of cheap American TV
...element of novelty too with Channel 5's movie premiers at 9pm, though far too soon the novelty wore off. The movie premiers just began to be repeated. And the movies, no films were not big high-budget blockbusters or good low-budget films but tacky b-movies with a half-famous cast. So Channel 5 started well, and then went through a terrible patch of cheap American shows but now I think its starting to improve. And lets not forget Channel 4 started ... ... Though not everyone gets Channel 5, so some people miss out on all the fun! The news every hour, the erotic thrillers, the sex documentaries, the American police documentaries and most importantly for some people - the cheap and awful Home and Away. Anyway I'll try not to rub in too much to the poor folks who press 5 on their remote to find a snowy screen but I assure you your not missing much…
The programmes ~~
Well if your too embarrassed to ...
Disillusioned 02.09.2001 (03.09.2001)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Channel 5
...and compile some thoughts about Channel 5. The main reason I’m writing this is that it occurred to me the other day that I seem to be spending a greater proportion of my time watching Channel 5, compared to the other terrestrial television channels. As you are most probably aware, Channel 5 was launched a few years ago – the first independent terrestrial television channel launch since Channel 4 in the 1980s. The station’s launch ... ...things that I like about Channel 5 – and there are things that I don’t. A recent poll indicated that Channel 5 has the fastest growing audience of any terrestrial television station – it is gradually catching up with Channel 4’s market share. Here’s a run down of some of my thoughts about why this might be and what they need to do to escalate their status.
AVAILABILITY AND RECEPTION
One of the biggest controversies ...
LostWitness 18.08.2002
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Channel 5
Advantages: Free, often very entertaining, always different. Disadvantages: Sometimes programming can be a little extreme, but at least it is honest.
...To write about a TV channel seems a bit strange in some ways, but when that channel gives the viewers the option of what they want to see, without the many cuts made by the various licensees, it releases a bit of a thrill. After all, we're the ones who give these people advice through all the advertising and general questionnaires.
What I'm talking about is channel 5, a little understood channel that unfortunately, even now can not reach everyone ... ...the facts. Week after week channel 5 shows a variety of good films that are often highly sought after, and are usually good entertainment. Also aside from actual films they have a good selection of children's and adult viewing at the right times for the right age groups, without having limitations. Controversial or not, they will give you what most people want, and if it feels too personal you can always change channel. Frankly I'm amazed that others ...
Trev1000 15.04.2001
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Channel 5
Advantages: sex, the seventies, cheese Disadvantages:
...there is usually something on channel 5 to get your juices flowing. I think they've filled a definate niche in the market. They provide bad soft porn several nights a week for the needy without having to pretend that it's all for the sake of science. Let's face it we all love a bit of it. The BBC know it sells, but they'd give some five part historical documentary about it, but good old channel 5 makes no bones about it. If you add to this the great ...
gsplat 09.08.2000
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Channel 5
Quality and consistency...
Range of programming
Quantity of advertising
Value for money
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