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The Blurb
Chart Throb. The ultimate pop quest. Ninety five thousand hopefuls. Three Judges. Just one winner.
And that's Calvin Simms, the genius behind the show.
Calvin always wins because Calvin writes the rules. But this year, as he sits in judgement upon Mingers, Clingers and Blingers whom he has pre-selected in his carefully scripted 'search' for a star, he has no idea that the rules are changing. The real is about to be put back into 'reality' televison and Calvin and his fellow judges are about to become ex-factors themselves.
ben Elton, author of Popcorn and Dead Famous, returns to blistering comic satire with a savagely hilarious deconstruction of the world of modern television talent shows.
Chart Throb. One winner. a whole bunch of losers.
The Story Here we meet Calvin Simms, the richest and most powerful man in television, owner of Calonic TV, producer, director and judge of the most popular programme on telly, Chart Throb. Calvin has just got back off honeymoon with new wife, Dakota, when she delivers the news that she wants a divorce and intends to take him for half or his fortune. Instead Calvin proposes and all or nothing wager, Dakota can choose anyone i the world and Calvin can make them a Chart Throb even though the public get to decide who wins. Dakota agrees to the bet and chooses her ringer, somebody so unpopular with the public there is noway he could win Chart
Throb, HRH The Prince Of Wales.
The Chart Throb process begins with Emma and Trent wading through the 95000 applications and sorting them into rejects, mingers, clingers and blingers. The ones who haven't been rejected are invited to audition (but not in front of the judges) they are taped and then Calvin decided who's going through and who's not and prepares scripts for his fellow judges, Beryl Blenheim and Rodney Root.
While this is going on Calvin realizes he's falling for researcher Emma so sacks her cos she won't sleep with him, then in order to gain her trust tells her he'll make HRH win Chart throb.
After the auditions there is pop school where more hopefuls are dropped and then the All Back To Mine round, where hopefuls are sent to their mentors homes, except they're not actually allowed in.
After this come the drama of the live shows where Calvin and crew choose the hair, make up, costumes and songs for the contestants all in order to try and manipulate the public vote.
Main Characters
Calvin Simms - Mult milionaire, owner of Calonic TV and head judge on Chart Throb, Calvin has never been in love, despite marrying and believes that he can get Emma out of his system if only she would sleep him. He is obviously the Simon Cowell type character.
Beryl Blenheim - The world's favourite mum, except she used to be a man, Buster Blenheim a major rock star who married Serenity then decided that he wanted to be a woman. Since then Beryl has become a cosmetic surgery addict as she wants to look her best for her fly on the wall TV show, The Blenheims. Beryl and Serenity are still married and beryl has twin step-daughters Lisa-Marie and Priscilla. So Beryl is the Sharon Osbourne of the judges.
Rodney Root - Rodney the third judge on the panel, he's a pop manager and is very envious of his fellow judges and the treatment they receive. Rodney had a romance with one of last year's contestants Iona, from the band Shetland Mist. Rodney promised the group they were going to be huge stars but dropped Iona and the group like hot coals once publicity had dried up. Now he's not best pleased as Iona has been asked to re-enter Chart throb this year but as a solo artist.
Trent - a researcher on the show, he's a complete brown noser when it comes to Calvin.
Emma - Emma has a major crush on Calvin but when Calvin relizes he fancies her he sacks her cos she won't sleep with him, Emma won't sleep with him cos she doesn't trust him whatsoever.
Chelsie- Chelsie is an ultra ambitious junior researcher on the show and she loves her job. Part of her job is to convince the really crap mingers, clingers and blingers that they could be the next Chart Throb right before they are ripped apart by the judges.
HRH - The prince of wales. Calvin convinces HRH to enter Chart Throb to increase his popularity as most of the country thinks he's a blithering idiot
Shaiana- One of the few contestants to be able to carry a tune, a major clinger who wants it so much.
Iona- lead singer of Shetland Mist, they made it through to last year's live final, Rodney promised they'd be huge but since he dumped Iona romanticly he has done nothing for their career despite still being their manager.
Priscilla - Beryl's step-daughter, famous for being famous, Priscilla wants to be a star in her own right but her debut album has just bombed and she's been caught buying drugs resulting in another stay in rehab and another chance for Beryl to show the world her mothering skills.
There are quite a few other characters but the ones mentioned feature most in the plot.
The Cover The cover is simple yet eye-catching a blue back ground with Chart Throb written in neon lighting and a huge microphone. If you didn't already know what the book was about it would make you pick it up at least to have a read of the blurb.
The Author Ben Elton has had a vast career not only has he wrote award winning TV shows, Young Ones and Blackadder , to name a couple he is himself a hugely successful stand up comic. He has written three hit westend plays, Gasping, Silly Cow and Popcorn (based on his novel). He wrote and directed the film Maybe Baby (based on his novel Inconceivable) and written three stage musicals including We Will Rock You which he created with Queen.
By The Same Author Novels: Stark Gridlock The Other Eden Popcorn Blast from The Past Inconceivable Dead Famous High Society Past Mortem The First Casualty Blind Faith
Plays: Gasping Silly Cow
My Experience I saw Ben Elton talking about this novel on Loose women when it fist hit the book shops, I thought it sounded like a great idea for a novel but forgot about it until I was browsing the shelves of my local library. People who read this will make comparisons between the Chart throb and X Factor but Elton hasn't shied away from this and often makes references to it in the novel, for instance, Chart Throb is bigger than X Factor ever was, Calvin Simms is richer than Simon Cowell and Beryl has an ongoing rivalry with Sharon Osbourne. The novel isn't as amusing as I thought it would/could be but it's an interesting read nevertheless, it's quite easy to read but not compelling and only gets really exciting towards the end. As a fan of the X factor it did make me wonder how much of what we see is real and would it really be so easy to manipulate the contestants and the public. i liked the way the book was structured, each chapter mainly focused on one part of the competition or on one of the contestants. It is very un-P.C, so may not appeal to everybody. Overall this isn't a must read book but its an interesting and amusing satire.
Price: rrp £17.99 (hardback) cheaper from amazon or ebay , I borrowed a copy from the library.
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
good review! as you said its expensive at £17.99 but why not go in the library and get it? good idea x
marymoose99 01.11.2007 10:04
I enjoyed the book, but it is one of Elton's worst books. Dead Famous is similar in theme, but much better. My favourite is probably the First Casualty, although that is a bit more serious....
plod591 31.10.2007 21:48
Hate the X factor and despite the author and non pc, still not one for me. The review is very good.
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