Citroen C4 2.0 16v Coupe

...was ushered into it that Citroen gave in and fixed it FOC. It also helped that the salesman in question had left (under a cloud, I shouldn't wonder?).

The 'Service' light came on as I drove away for the first time - this was put down to water in the 'lane-change warning' sensors* and was fixed FOC.

*They vibrate your left or right buttock if you stray over a white line whilst not signalling!

A few days ...
...'control the climate' when it needed warming up - the air-con contingent having given up. This was put down to the fact that the car hadn't been used for 5 months when I took it on, and you're supposed to use air-con frequently to stop the refrigerant escaping through dried-out seals. The air-con was recharged with gas FOC and had worked ever since.

It does indeed get through front tyres faster due to the extra weight of the engine. ... more

Now that I've had my C4 for over a year, I thought I'd add some footnotes at the end - nothing serious, but at least it allows me to comment on longer-term factors.

Now back to the original plot written last April...........

Well, its four years are up, and the honeymoon's over.

My trusty Toyota Yaris T-Sport, which I'd had from new in March 2002 hadn't skipped a beat, but the so-called 4 year/40,000 miles service, done at 30,000 miles in my case cost me an arm and a leg. I knew it was going to be dearer than all the previous £200-ish jobs, over £500 I wasn't expecting.

Of course, you could argue that I should have gone on to get some money's worth out of the last débâcle before parting with the car, but if I'm honest, I was getting a trifle fed up with the T-Sport

Why? Well, for a car with merely implied sporty pretensions (108 BHP and 0-60 in just under 9 seconds), it was just so darned hard-riding, so a combination of Hounslow's pot-holes and Ealing's speed ramps had made it literally a pain in the arse. I think this factor alone decided me to trade in what was essentially a great and pretty little car with lower than average mileage, and which was the apple of my eye when it was polished (and standing still!). It was either that or move.

So something that didn't feel too sluggish but is a nicer ride was ideal, and if it could throw in a bit more interior space, maybe even allowing me to close the tailgate when carrying a bike, that would be even nicer.

A Ford Focus comes highly recommended and indeed I've driven a few in Spain, but the newer model doesn't ring my bell like the older, more avant-gard one. Somehow, Fords have moved it back to the mainstream of blander styling, but then that's Ford for you - I'm surprised the cheeky little Ka's still going after they pulled the plug on the Puma!

The other problem with any Ford, no matter how good it is, is that it's destined to be as common as muck, and if this matters to you, then that's a big reason for not buying one!

THIS IS WHERE THE C4 COMES INTO THE EQUATION

Stylistically, the C4 comes in two body shapes; a 5-door hatchback and a 3-door 'coupé' hatchback, both with roughly the same cubic capacity. The latter has a rather curious blunt tail, comprising the usual sloping glass of a hatchback, which then plunges vertically with another vertical glazed panel.To me this looks like it could be a real liability when it comes to keeping it clean - sure there's a titchy 6" wiper, but nothing attracts dirt like a sawn-off rear - just look for a van with 'clean me' scrawled in the muck for confirmation. I'd also venture a guess that the tailgate of the coupé opens so high that you'd have to lasso it to get it down again if you're a short-arse. Likewise, care when under a low ceiling is advised.

There is a bar to separate the two glazed panels, which you might find an obstruction to the rear view, but helpfully, it comes just where other car's headlights are, and although you might think that peering through a letter box is limiting, the fact that it's vertical and glare-free makes it seem just as large as the usual acre of sloping glass with which many more conventionally-shaped hatchbacks are blessed.

I can't help feeling that there was a variant of the Honda CRX coupe looking a bit like this, at least from the side, or was it an Alfasud coupé?

What both cars share is a rather smooth aerodynamic front end, with the Citroën 'Twin Chevrons' built into the shape of grill - a return to the bygone days when you could tell the make without looking for a badge perhaps. The only practical problem I could foresee is that there's quite a lot of front overhang (see photos), and with my version having a deeper bumper section, I winced at the thought of approaching my first speed ramps. I needn't have worried - the ground clearance is excellent for its type - see photo of side view.

Yes, the Citroën C4 looked good, from most of my viewpoints. It was the right size, it got excellent reviews vis-à-vis the driving experience, and it wasn't a Ford Focus. Some critics even ventured to say that the C4 was ousting the Ford Focus as top car in its size range. Top Gear approved too, but I didn't let that put me off.

This was coupled with some very nice discounting going on at the moment, which also affects the pricing of 'nearly-new ones' too, especially on the 2.0 HDi diesel VTS 3-door coupé that I ended up with.

The Motorpoint supermarket in Derby had new petrol SXs for £9,999, and a search of Broadspeed.com revealed that you could get a dealer-supplied one for just £250 more.

In the end, I opted to buy a nearly new one of a much higher specification and with a 2.0 litre HDi diesel, mated to a 6-speed gearbox from Citroën West London, taking the sting out of the new car price even more than any supermarket can (a £18,000 car for £12,500 including a shed-load of further optional extras). They still gave me the balance of the 3-year warranty and 8-year anti-corrosion warranty anyway.

This way, I could trade in the Yaris for around £5,000 and use a Cahoot flexible loan to buy the rest - very slick, almost over the counter. Once I'd confirmed that money from Cahoot was in my bank account, I could use my Switch card to pay the balance.

THOSE "OH-SO-IMPORTANT" BOY'S TOYS

The VTS seemed to have most of what I wanted, and true to Citroën's ground-breaking, nay quirky, innovative reputation, one or two I wasn't expecting.

Along with the 'usual' Electric Windows, Electric Heated and Folding Mirrors, Power Steering ABS, Multiple Airbags, CD/Radio and twin-zone Climate Control (dial-a-temperature air-con/heating), you also get Cruise Control, which is a rare find in a mid-range manual car. This also doubles as a speed limiter for those that still prefer not to let their right foot atrophy.

Now for the really odd bit; a steering wheel centre that stays put when you grapple with those bends.

This isn't something that the boys back at 'Double Chevron HQ' have dreamed up just to be different (well, perhaps it might be, just a tad) but it makes a lot of sense if you are going to turn the steering wheel centre into a 'mini dashboard' - at least you know where the radio controls are all the time, rather than just when steering a straight line. It also means that they can optimise the shape of the air bag for the driver's side, since it won't be swivelling anywhere unlike the normal doughnut-shaped ones.

As you can imagine, the dashboard looks quite space-age (something that Ford lost in the revamp of the Focus).

The VTS diesel version has a 2.0 litre (6-speed manual) 138 BHP engine capable of up to 61 mpg - there are two other diesels, one with 92 BHP, another with 110 BHP.

Actually, many might think that setting cruise control for 60 mph might be the panacea of low fuel consumption, but only on a dead flat road. A human being (aka the driver) can see uphill stretches a mile off and let the car's momentum build up on the downhill sections to help with the cruising up next one. Cruise control will hold the car back on the downhill and then do its darndest to maintain that speed up hill too, flooring the accelerator in the process..

Mine comes with an 'Electrochrome' internal rear-view mirror which is capable of detecting glare from behind and darkening the mirror. Personally, this is my favourite gadget as it works impeccably.

Not exactly a boy's toy, but you also get aromatherapy cartridges to go in the air ducts - I suppose it's a less naff idea than fitting one of those clip-on air fresheners, but only just. Anyway, till I've seen the price of replacements, the car might just have to smell of Insegnante di Ciclismo instead (Cycling Instructor but the Italian sounds nicer).

PERFORMANCE - subtitled "Like Excrement Off A Teflon® Digging Implement" or maybe "Torque Is Cheap on the Street"

The 2.0 litre HDi engine, which is common to the Peugeot 307 range, is an interesting mill, especially, if like me, you've never owned an 'oil burner' before.

Some of the diesels in the range now come supplied with DPFS (Diesel Particulate Filtering System) - This gets over the last hurdle to make diesels greener than petrol. It's been known for ages that they have lower CO2 emissions, but this traps the soot too, long thought to aggravate juvenile asthma. There's also some kind of fuel additive reservoir, good for around 70,000 miles I'm told. This and the particle trap are designed to rid the air of black clouds that used to emanate from diesels on start up - it even smells curiously pleasant when first started.

In fact, this 138 BHP* diesel has lower CO2 output than the 90 BHP 1.4 litre petrol engine, combined with better fuel consumption and is 'EU4 compliant' with a VED (Car Tax) rating of £115 per annum.

(*Brake Horse Power - now commonly represented also as Kilowatts, their being 746 Watts to 1 BHP, hence 138 BHP would also be 103 kW)

Remarkably, the engine doesn't seem to have many of diesel's 'cons', in so much that the only time you're aware of its more, shall we say, 'industrial' heritage is when idling, especially from cold.

Then, OK I admit it, it can sound like a well-muffled black cab, but that's where it ends. Once cruising, you'd hardly know in any detrimental sense. Not only can this engine whisk the car up to the 60 mph mark in about 9.5 seconds (a gnat's crotchet slower than the 'sporty' Yaris) without any fuss apart from a hushed gruffness, but its ability to sustain a motorway cruise without a down-change from 6th gear when a long hill makes itself felt, sets it aside from its petrol equivalents. Where you really do gain with this diesel is the huge fistful of torque it delivers at fairly slow engine speed, say 2,000 rpm, enabling a lazy driver like me to surge from 50 to 70 without batting an eyelid, leaving those petrol heads behind wondering how I did it without delaying to change gear. 'Turbo-lag' seems to have been overcome since I last tried a turbo-diesel. As I see it, unless you really must prove a point in a traffic light drag race, by red-lining the engine to full speed, 2,000 rpm will do nicely for just about everything else in the real world of motoring.

Incidentally, there's no such thing as 'red lining' this engine - the tachometer display starts to glow red instead! This seems to be a very lightweight free-revving diesel capable of being taking up to a very high spin speed, making it feel like a petrol engine if you 'lead-boot' it.

However there's no need to flog the guts out of it.

By contrast, the equivalent 2.0 litre petrol engine has a few more BHP, 146 compared to 138 but far less torque; 148 ft/lbs delivered at 4000 rpm, compared to the diesel's 236 ft/lbs delivered at half that speed. I know all this 'talk of torque' can be confusing, but raw BHP (combined with a light car) is what produces those 0-60 times, whereas torque is more the engine's ability to exert a continuous pull at its optimum speed.

Summing up its straight line performance, its 138 horses puts it roughly in the same bracket as a typical 2.0 litre petrol family saloon, hence the only-to-be-expected 0-60 times, but that lovely 'twisty-turny torque' really is alarmingly useful for those who don't want to stir the gear stick through all 6 ratios all the time. I'm finding that on urban roads, you'll never really get to use 6th, since it needs at least 45 mph to stop it straining.

I've had a couple of casual passengers not notice it was a diesel till I told them (mind you, the radio was on at the time!)

Cornering is a slightly different matter. I can't help feeling that the extra weight (100 kilos approx) of the diesel power plant makes the front end handle a little more softly than a petrol version, but this is just surmise on my part, as I've not driven the latter. Anyway, I volunteered for a softer ride, remember? No doubt, it'll be tougher on front tyres too, but I can't prove that yet.

Having said that, any slight tendency to under-steer more than its petrol siblings (run wide on corners) is at least a safe characteristic that most drivers could handle, compared to a tail-slide in a rear-wheel drive car. No doubt Clarkson would disagree, but I take great pleasure in being at variance with him!

Surprisingly for what is supposed to be the 'sport' version, the ride really is smooth and a good compromise between soft and well-controlled. I like it - I like it a lot. This is a car I feel I can achieve some serious long distances in, and with an extra-urban fuel consumption of 61 mpg, it doesn't look like I'll have to stop too often either, what with its 60 litre tank (13 gallons approx) giving me well over 700 miles range on a good day (when all the hills point down and the wind's at my back).

It's also very quiet at speed, this being partly aided by 6th gear and the use of thicker laminated glass where the more normal safety glass on side windows would normally be expected. (Not on all models). Car thieves will hate it. Further sound deadening is achieved by being extremely smoothly shaped, and the door seals are doubled to help eliminate wind noise. Where possible, body cavities (the car's , not mine) have been filled out with plastic to prevent drumming.

THE GOODIES IN USE

I have to take my hat off to Citroën at producing such a well appointed car, even in basic LX form, where you STILL get that cruise control/speed limiter not to mention a fuel and trip computer and CD/Radio. Then there's that weirdly practical steering wheel boss that doesn't move. The speed limiter is interesting. It doesn't PREVENT you from going any faster than a pre-arranged velocity - it just adds a little more resistance to the pedal, so that you can rest your foot at a specific level without the worry of your speed creeping up. Apparently, the French police are getting very hot on motorway speeding right now, so anything that'll keep you within the law for hours on end on their A20 is to be welcomed - at least it means that you can relax and admire the view. I find it quite relaxing to set my cruise speed at about 1 MPH less than the car in front. Eventually, the road ahead starts to look nice and empty - give it to me straight, I'm not turning into a caravanner am I? Cruise control cancels after you touch ANY of the pedals.

Strangely, there's no provision for any form of opening sun roof, although a fixed darkened glass panel can be specified from new - our Smart's got one, and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, especially if you're folically-challenged. Anyway, what with my car being black, it really doesn't need any more encouragement to get hot in the sun.

The 2.0 litre diesel version is unique in enjoying a 6-speed gearbox. People who are still fighting to get to grips with five of the little devils will be aghast, but those of us who'll do anything to boast "Got 65 mpg out of her on the A11 last week" will love it. It's pretty slick compared to some I've stirred in the past, but the physical spacing between gears is very close, making first attempts to find 3rd gear a bit hit and miss, leading many a novice, including me, to select 5th instead. The engine didn't seem to mind though.

Incidentally, there's no special procedure for starting this engine - gone are the days of 'waiting for the orange light to go out' you used to get with diesels.

A single-CD player/FM radio is standard across the range but mine came with the branded JBL upgrade and an additonal Blaupunkt 5-CD/MP3 changer hidden in the arm rest.

The rain-sensing wipers could be a boon, especially when passing a truck on a wet motorway. They've also redesigned the wiper arms not to lift at high speed.

The very top versions also get that gadget that vibrates your bum if you stray over a white lane marker without signalling, presumably to make sure you haven't dozed off. You can turn it off before straying over the white lines becomes too enjoyable! It can also be triggered by those 'move over now' arrows where a dual carriageway narrows, which is no bad thing I guess. However, I'm not sure about gadgets that might encourage someone to drive when they're too tired - "oh never mind, the car'll wake me up", if you get my drift.

Still on the safety ticket, I queried why my tyre valves were metal rather than the usual rubber. This is because they are 'tyre pressure transponders', capable of sending a message to the dashboard should one or more tyres deflate below a safe pressure. The only reason I didn't know I'd got them was because all my tyres were pumped up, and I don't now feel like letting one of them down to test the theory! Using the spare will bring up a permanent message because it doesn't have this luxury, but since you're only supposed to use it up to 50 mph, a warning is no bad thing!

As an adjunct to that static steering wheel centre, the centrally-placed LCD speedometer display is translucent, so that, when the sun is in your eyes, light shines through it, maintaining your ability to see it - no more "sorry officer, I was blinded there for a moment".

Rear head-room is only OK especially in the so-called coupé, although to my mind, it's silly to call a car with three rear seats a coupé in the first place - whatever happened to 2+2s, or 2+3 in this case? It's of no consequence to me since I'm more interested in how much more floor space I've got to put a bike in there. This still isn't a car of Mondeo/Vectra proportions but then I knew that.

The 'NCAP' safety rating of the C4 in general is very good, of the best in fact with 5 stars. The low smooth front is about as 'pedestrian-friendly' as it could be for something that's about to mow them down. I notice that 'eldergill' who wrote about his own C4 found out that the bonnet lid, which is aluminium, is also well distanced from the engine, so anyone scooped up by the car is less likely to get hurt as the lid deforms and tries to take on the shape of the nearest sharp nasty bit of engine.

Mine's also got that throwback to Citroën's golden age of innovation, which culminated with the DS21; steerable headlights, or at least two of the four. These help with that blind-spot so feared in dark country lanes as you steer a sharp left-hand bend, lined with hedgerow, into oblivion, or so it seems till you straighten-up. It also makes it less likely you'll blind anyone coming the other way.

However, lest we forget, this is only a mass-produced car from a volume manufacturer. Extras don't make it a luxury car, although the great efforts to make the interior as quiet as possible do give that impression. Reviewers in the motoring press have commented on the fact that the build-quality is on a par with the Ford Focus, with which it is frequently compared. First impressions are that it doesn't rattle on bumpy roads, which is good.

PROS AND CONS OF NEARLY NEW

Well, on the 'pro' side there's vastly reduced purchase price - the way in which a new car's price plummets the moment you buy it are well documented, and buying a yearling takes advantage of this, with very little of the disadvantages, especially since I'm still getting two of the three year's warranty. I'm a low-mileage user compared to some (around 7,500 miles p.a. reducing to 6,000 soon) so the fact that this has got 13,000 miles 'on the clock' matters not a jot, since once it's three year's old it'll be low mileage again.

This way, you either get a cheaper car, or a higher-spec one than you thought you could afford. Being a bit of a gadget freak, it's easy to see which path I trod!

Even so, I still really only paid what my new Yaris did four years ago.

On the 'con' side, you take what's available, and in my case, I'm now the owner of a black one, which looks great when first clean, but unfortunately dirt is brown! Metallic silver would have been my ideal, but hey, that's life.

You also don't get to specify extras, like the sunroof, but sunroof apart, mine seems to have everything anyway. Having been the Citroën Sales Manager's car, it's hardly surprising that they would have had every gadget going, just because they could.

It would appear with a hint of hindsight, that the 'pre-delivery inspection' wasn't quite up to new car standards, as no-one had noticed that the climate control could only warm the car; the refrigeration aspect being dead-on-arrival on the first warm day. Also, the lane wandering warning system (the bum vibrator) was raising an error message on the dashboard.

However, teething problems like this are not entirely unknown on a new car either, and they've now been put right with no quibble (I had the '30-day bring it back if you don't like it' warranty to wave in the air). I prefer to judge a firm by how it fixes its faults, rather than how perfect everything was (which was probably a fluke anyway). They are also very nice people at Citroën West London, with a very attentive service department.

NIGGLES

I immediately noticed that there's no fixed rest for your left foot when not using the clutch, although all other ergonomics seem to suit me (6'1" with longish legs.) There seems to be plenty of room for your feet however, so the chance of not getting your foot on the clutch fast enough is minimal. Driver's headroom seems fine to me, even though I like to sit quite high, especially in cars like this where the bonnet lid disappears from sight. My version has adjustable seat height and lumbar support, the latter creating an increased arch in the small of the back if wanted.

The arm rest in between both front seats could be a problem if you let the passenger deploy it, since it makes making a grab for the handbrake a bit hit and miss - it's at times like this that you notice that this isn't a big car, despite the levels of appointment. No doubt, this isn't a problem on left-hand drive models.

The length of the doors in the coupé brings its own problems with it, in the form of seat belts that ride up your neck, there being no height adjustment on the 3-door version - I ended up buying a couple of after-market logo-embroidered pads which can be positioned where you like on the belt.

The brakes are EXTREMELY sensitive, making getting used to your new car a rather interesting experience for any passengers - what's more it has that facility to activate the hazard warning lights if you brake very hard, but then someone who keeps stamping on the brakes IS a hazard! I've read that some reviewers regard them as "over-servo'd", but as long as you're used to them it's not a problem.

Compared to the Yaris, which used every available space as some sort of cubby hole, there's precious little storage in the C4 for a car of its size, apart from a glove box that's too stylish for its own good, requiring you to lay the contents on the lid and then hope you can close it, a couple of door pockets and some nets behind the front seats. There is also a drawer under the passenger seat but it's so shallow that I can't put my first aid kit box in it. Sure you've got special money trays for parking and bridge tolls, but there's not even one identifiable flat area to rest a mobile phone, without it sliding under a seat.

The speed display in the centre of the dash has a VERY large MPH readout, even making it possible for the driver in the (police?) car behind to see it. I also find having 2" digital figures that change frequently a mite distracting in my peripheral vision - it's OK when cruising, but when altering speed it's noticeable. Being able to change it to KPH for a motoring holiday in France is useful though.

The only other major thing, which is more of a gnawing at the back of my mind, is that this seems like an awful lot of gadgets to go wrong, but longevity is the one thing car reviewers can't really touch on till it's too late. Early impressions from those longer-term reviews based on the last 12 months usage by a magazine 'staffer' don't seem to be unduly worrying, even for the upmarket VTS variant, despite the fact that French cars in general don't exactly figure in the top league for reliability. The car's large dependency in a central computerised CPU does bring advantages which hopefully outweigh any doubts I may have. For example, if you were to take in into your head to fit even wider tyres, you wouldn't have to put up with heavier steering for ever more - the car's electric power steering can be reprogrammed to take more of the load. Doubtless, there's even a 'go faster' tweak, but frankly, I'm quite happy with the performance as it is.

There seem to be a lot of people who are of the opinion that "Citroën + Electrics = Problem", but if these are also the same people who still think that Skoda are rubbish, and that Lotus stands for "Loads Of Trouble, Usually Serious" then I don't care. All I know is that my mother-in-law has had a Citroën since 'N-reg' was new without a problem and two people I know reckon the older ZX was the best car they've had (both diesels notably). My friend's Peugeot 405 diesel (more or less the same engine) is now fast approaching 200,000 miles without much in the way of trouble.

I admit that the worst car for reliability I ever had was a new Renault, but once the dealers took responsibility, it settled into early middle-age without a hitch.

Also, my Yaris was made in France, and that's been a diamond.

Oh well, there's always two year's warranty to fall back on!

OTHER DATA

My version weighs 1.3 tonnes and is allowed to tow a braked trailer or caravan of up to 1.5 tonnes.

Its roof-rack maximum loading is 75 kilograms.

As well as the customary front and rear bumpers being made of plastic, so are the front wings, which coupled with the aluminium bonnet lid goes some way to offset the diesel's extra weight.

WILL IT FIT MY GARAGE?

Curiously, nowhere on the UK Citroën web-site could I find the official version of the car's dimensions, so here's my tape measure's version.

Length - 4.27 m or 14 feet (ironically, the five-door is 14 cm or 5.5" shorter).
Width - 1.77 m or 5'10"
Height - 1.46 m or 4'9"

The length puts it midway between a 5-door Focus and the estate version.

IN A NUTSHELL

The Citroën C4 is an Astra/Focus sized car with either 3 or 5 door version. It has one of the best 'NCAP' safety ratings (5 stars). Engines range from 1.4 petrol, 1.6 petrol, two different 1.6 diesels of differing power outputs, a 2.0 litre diesel and two different powers of 2.0 litre petrol engines. Power outputs range from 90 bhp to 186 bhp.

Even base models (LX) are well appointed with cruise control, CD-Radio etc.

Best value-for-money is probably represented by the 1.6 petrol SX (£9,999 at car supermarkets), and official prices in general range from £9,695 for a 1.4 LX petrol to £17,995 for my version before any further optional extras are built in.

They are all good to drive, arguably being class-winners, and the C4 is currently the Top Gear Magazine 'Best Hatch' for 2005.

Three year warranties apply in the UK, the first two being internationally recognised.

Oh yes, and in common with 'Eldergill', I couldn't find the button to turn it into a 'Transformer' as in the TV ad either but then, it took me a while to find all the buttons to work all the advertised features.

That reminds me. I forgot to ask if it can run on Eco-Diesel without invalidating the warranty. I wonder if the local chip shop has anyone to take away their oil for free yet?

USELESS FACTOIDS

1. The origin of the Twin Chevron logo relates to the fact that Monsieur Citroën started out as an engineer specializing in gears, one of the most efficient of which is the 'herring-bone' gear, with chevron shaped teeth for extra grip.
2. No crash test dummies were hurt in the writing of this opinion, although my credit card was on first filling the 60 litre tank.
3. I can't touch the end on my nose with my tongue, but no doubt Citroën are working on a gadget that can - Le Lèche-Nez Automatique no doubt.
4. For those that like to spell things correctly, the "ë" symbol can be found in Windows Character Map, or by holding down the ALT key whilst typing 0235 on the numbers pad, then letting go.

NOW THAT I'VE HAD A FEW LONG RUNS

1500 miles down the road, I'm very happy with the C4 diesel's 'long legs' aka 6 gears. I set my cruise control to 70, and just steer for mile upon mile, with the dual advantage that I'm still doing 54 mpg and keeping my license intact! A couple of runs from west London to north Norfolk have convinced me that this is the way to travel, compared to my previous frenetic Friday night dashes to Bernard Matthew's land, and if I'm honest, it's only taking me 10 minutes longer, once you factor in unforeseen hold ups (Note: These NEVER happen). The firm but comfortable seats in cloth and leather/suede (yes both!) are very restful, and I'm raring to go when I get there.

Around town, I'm still aware it's a diesel until I get into third gear and floor the accelerator. Suddenly, it hits its 'sweet spot'; not only does the turbocharger cut in seamlessly here but it all goes uncannily calm too, like someone just lit the afterburners, but quietly!

FOOTNOTES - ONE YEAR LATER

I had a few minor niggles earlier on, but these were mainly down to poor PDI-ing of the car.

For example, there was a long crease and scratch on the passenger side door sill, and it wasn't till I pointed out that the left side of the car had always been parked against a wall whenever I was ushered into it that Citroen gave in and fixed it FOC. It also helped that the salesman in question had left (under a cloud, I shouldn't wonder?).

The 'Service' light came on as I drove away for the first time - this was put down to water in the 'lane-change warning' sensors* and was fixed FOC.

*They vibrate your left or right buttock if you stray over a white line whilst not signalling!

A few days later, I noticed that the Climate Control could only 'control the climate' when it needed warming up - the air-con contingent having given up. This was put down to the fact that the car hadn't been used for 5 months when I took it on, and you're supposed to use air-con frequently to stop the refrigerant escaping through dried-out seals. The air-con was recharged with gas FOC and had worked ever since.

It does indeed get through front tyres faster due to the extra weight of the engine. At 20,000, i.e. 7,000 miles after buying it, I needed new ones. Not the £137 each jobs as fitted by Citroen, but somewhat cheaper ones as fitted by Greenford Tyres after I bought mine on the net from www.mytyres.co.uk - see my opinion of Hankook tyres.

None of these are (hopefully) the kind of thing you'd expect from a brand new car, since you'd reject it and ask for another one. However, a used 2.0 HDi Diesel Coupé C4 is as rare as rocking horse do-do, so I decided to persevere, and in doing so made a close working relationship with the service manager!

It worked, and apart from self-inflicted wounds after forgetting myself and putting 19 litres of PETROL in it just recently, it's only cost me one service with nothing unscheduled in between. The good news is that it was 'only' 19 out of nearly 70 litres and it took from west London to Cirencester before it even objected.

It's a great car to drive, and in particular the coupé arouses quite a lot of favourable interest.

My one remaining niggle is that the leather seats creak!

I should have known; I've had them before, or it is nature's way of telling me to lose weight? 

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