Clinique Turnaround Cream

...a recent visit to the Clinique counter had led me to swallow the usual fabrications about the latest and greatest products and I was the proud owner of Total Turnaround Concentrate. According to the Oompa Loompa Orange lady, this was the much better than Total Turnaround because… well, she wasn't sure why. Just because. Allegedly it works more quickly according to the website. In order to look like a human being for work on Monday morning, I needed ...
.../> I've come to dislike Clinique more and more these days. Their alleged three-step has so many add ons that it is now a billion-step if you follow it to the letter. Their staff are not especially well trained, their prices are too high and they discontinue any product you come to love at the drop of hat. I've tried writing to customer services only to receive replies that not only offer no help but border on rude. I actually didn't want this to ... more

Last Saturday, The Boyfriend and I went to Best Friend's Christmas tree party in Hackney. (A Christmas tree party, for those of you not in the know, is a party where you bring a decoration for the tree.) We went via Topshop in Oxford Circus and the Turkish off-licence first and due to a longish afternoon and the fact we go to bed a bit earlier these days, we were starting to get a little sleepy on arrival. Luckily for us, Best Friend was at the back of her kitchen (in an up-to-the minute polkadot cocktail dress) hovering over a large cauldron of mulled wine*.

In any case, we had a an excellent time chatting to Best Friend and her new boyfriend, found time to admire the collection of pixie boots and Lily Allen style side ponytails among the young city professionals and left at 10pm (just as everyone else was getting there and we were starting to embarrass ourselves). From there, we endured a journey home that took until 2am. It normally takes just under an hour door to door. At the time I blamed the closure of the Central line and the freezing wait at Bethnal Green tube for the outbreak which subsequently occurred. About two minutes from Paddington, The Boyfriend leaned in as though he might kiss me and murmured quietly "you've got a massive spot." He was right. I spent the rest of the journey home using his head (he was asleep) to shield my fellow passengers from this atrocity.

Now, I've always had the occasional problems with my skin. It seems to break out at the slightest trigger and I decided a while back that alcohol might have something to do with it. As a result, I now only drink on special occasions and I've found that things have improved slightly.
The downside is, that after not drinking for a while, I didn't recognise my face in the mirror on Sunday morning. I rarely see myself in daylight since I started going to work at stupid-o-clock in winter and I was shocked. Not only did my skin look sallow and grey but it had broken out. Truth be told, this was almost certainly the result of alcohol. I would love to say that I took the dog for a walk in the fresh air and ate some fruit to detox, but I'll continue in my vein of honesty - it was raining and I had a fry up.

By Sunday evening I was feeling a little better and I thought a bit of pampering might help. I reached for my original Total Turnaround to discover the supply had been exhausted. Luckily, a recent visit to the Clinique counter had led me to swallow the usual fabrications about the latest and greatest products and I was the proud owner of Total Turnaround Concentrate. According to the Oompa Loompa Orange lady, this was the much better than Total Turnaround because… well, she wasn't sure why. Just because. Allegedly it works more quickly according to the website. In order to look like a human being for work on Monday morning, I needed something that did exactly that.

Here's the hype - "A high-performance cocktail of exfoliants prompts a renewal process that is multilevel, time-released. Speeds fresh, vibrant cells to the surface. Continually unveils brighter, more radiant skin. Leaves skin with a velvety feel, perfected look."**
The truth - a cocktail of chemicals made by a company that couldn't care less about its customers almost lives up to the PR.

I've come to dislike Clinique more and more these days. Their alleged three-step has so many add ons that it is now a billion-step if you follow it to the letter. Their staff are not especially well trained, their prices are too high and they discontinue any product you come to love at the drop of hat. I've tried writing to customer services only to receive replies that not only offer no help but border on rude. I actually didn't want this to work, I wanted to slate them.

I smoothed this on after cleansing my face and went to bed. The original Total Turnaround worked best this way too. The instructions dictate that you use it morning and evening, but then they would say that. Clinique would love you to use and therefore buy twice as much. Also, I've been told in the past that if you over exfoliate your skin you leave those 'new cells' with even less resistance to damage from weather, cold, heating and UV rays than usual. This makes sense to me. And your chances of winning a lawsuit against Clinique are pretty minimal.

The following morning I awoke to a slight improvement. From a scientific point of view, this could have been as a consequence of my liver being too overloaded to push toxins through my skin. Or it could have been the result of the gallons of water I'd drunk the previous day. So, not a fair test. Several days later, I can report continuously good results. Spots seem to go quicker, scars have faded and my skin has responded better to make up in the mornings. The biggest draw for me with the original Turnaround was the way my skin felt after using it. This doesn't seem to have the same skin softening powers, occasionally making skin feel a little hard and dry. (Possibly a good thing, I have to resist touching it - that causes spots).

Is it an improvement on the original Total Turnaround? - I don't think so. I secretly believe it's a toned down version of the old one. They've either realised that had the potential to cause skin damage or they've found cheaper ingredients***. This new concentrate doesn't have the same smell of PVA glue that clung to the old stuff, but it doesn't seem to give any better results.

The primary ingredients, Salicylic Acid, Glucosamine and Cholesterol Sulfate are the same as in the original Total Turnaround.. Salicylic acid is an exfoliator found in aspirin amongst other things****, Glucosamine is extracted from crab and lobster shells (nice) and Cholesterol Sulfate is found in bodily fluids (hence my title). I also suspect it also has those light reflecting particles that give your skin a bit of a glow, there's no way it can have real effect in minutes, yet your skin looks better straight away.

Now I've taken the mystery out of it, you'll be wondering how much these super-special ingredients cost. What will you have to pay for this miracle of modern science?

Clinique Turnaround Concentrate retails at £30 for 30ml.

I think a price like that deserves a line all of its own. Some among you will have noticed a discrepancy between my 99p store shopping^ and my skincare regime. The Boyfriend calls me 'rich' and 'posh' to tease me (I am in fact neither) and thinks my job pays loads. It doesn't, but I can see that he got this impression from the way my wallet drops open at the Clinique counter. I seem to scrimp and save in other areas just to buy this stuff. It doesn't last long either, 5ml is around a teaspoon, costs £5 and lasts roughly two uses.

So, is it worth it? In conclusion, I have to say that I suspect the placebo effect and the light reflecting particles do most of the hard work. It's not the best value for money and the company that peddle it are unethical and gain most of their sales through good advertising rather than worthwhile products or good customer service. I wouldn't suggest you go out of your way to spend nearly a day's wage on it, but I wouldn't jump in front of a bus to stop you. In order to avoid accusations of impartial fence sitting, I will recommend sparing use for an occasional pick-me-up. It never hurts to take care of your skin and I have seen an improvement in mine.

This can be bought direct from the Clinique website clinique.co.uk, House of Fraser, Debenhams, Selfridges, Harvey Nichols, Harrods, Superdrug, John Lewis and Boots.

Footnotes:

• Made from Lidl's finest and cheapest.
• *~As they removed all my listings from Ebay today for containing the brand name 'Clinique', they'll probably sue me for using their website as a source for that comment. Enjoy this review while you can.
• **I know Clinique are watching.
• *** I recommend trying an aspirin face mask, there are lots of great recipes for it on the internet and the results are as good as this to be honest.
  ^ A shameless plug for one of my other reviews.  

...less