Coldheart Canyon - Clive Barker

...which Todd can recuperate – Coldheart Canyon. We are privy to his first encounter with the mysterious Katya, with whom Todd becomes obsessed. We just know that she isn’t quite what she seems* She introduces Todd to he ‘delights’ of the Devils Country, a strange reconstructed room originating from a strange east European monastery. This room has all sorts of strange powers. Katya also apparently hosted some pretty wild parties in the golden age of ...
...have remained as ghosts in Coldheart Canyon to continue their libidinous practices. The story progresses and gradually, after Barker has given full rein to his literary skill, filling page after page with some quite vivid and nauseatingly pretentious descriptive prose, we begin to learn the hideous secret of Coldheart Canyon and the mysterious Katya. I don’t want to give too much away - some of the protagonists who discover the truth live through ... more

I used to really enjoy reading Clive Barkers work, but gradually I feel myself slowly becoming more and more disillusioned with each book I read. I’m not quite sure why, although maybe penning this opinion may make it clearer to myself.

Todd Pickett*, a heartthrob film star*, poor boy made good*, an ‘ageing’ film star*, adored by millions gradually becoming less and less bankable*. He’s represented by a shrew of an agent* Maxine, and lusted after by the head of his appreciation society (not a fan club!) Tammy, an overweight (his words, not mine) not particularly good looking lady with a heart of gold*, who’s married to the no-good layabout Arnie*. The final main character is Katya Lupi, former silent movie, who mysteriously retains the body, looks and appetites that drove her fans wild with desire in the early days of the movies*. Various other characters including Marco, a sort of bodyguard come minder come confidante with a suitably shady history* weave in and out of the story.

Set in the present day, it tells the story of Todd Pickett, single, dashing, movie star whose contemporaries apparently include Cruise, Kidman, and Pitt amongst others. Todd loves his dog* and the lifestyle he leads, however his star is beginning to wane as age is catching up – his looks are going*. After some not so gentle prompting, Todd dithers about plastic surgery, and apparently the deciding factor is the death of his beloved canine companion, Dempsey (grief does funny things!), he visits a mysterious plastic surgeon*, who of course botches the job*, leaving our hero looking like he’s been hit in the face by a steam hammer. Not so good for the career then. To avoid speculation, a suitable location is found in which Todd can recuperate – Coldheart Canyon. We are privy to his first encounter with the mysterious Katya, with whom Todd becomes obsessed. We just know that she isn’t quite what she seems* She introduces Todd to he ‘delights’ of the Devils Country, a strange reconstructed room originating from a strange east European monastery. This room has all sorts of strange powers. Katya also apparently hosted some pretty wild parties in the golden age of Hollywood where anything, and I mean anything went*. I won’t go into too much detail but any of you into movies will recognise some of the late, great movie stars mentioned in here, although I guarantee you’ll not have seen them involved in such sordid, debauched behaviour* (In like Flynn?!) Incredibly (yawn,yawn) it seems that their carnal and often bestial desires survive after death, and they have remained as ghosts in Coldheart Canyon to continue their libidinous practices. The story progresses and gradually, after Barker has given full rein to his literary skill, filling page after page with some quite vivid and nauseatingly pretentious descriptive prose, we begin to learn the hideous secret of Coldheart Canyon and the mysterious Katya. I don’t want to give too much away - some of the protagonists who discover the truth live through the events, some don’t. I have to say that even on re-reading the ending of this novel, it is somewhat confusing and I’m not quite sure what (if?) there is some hidden pearl of wisdom in here or if he truly just wanted to get the writing of this novel over and done with – maybe this is just my cynicism shining through lol

Has anyone been wondering why the asterisks or counting them?? Okay, I’ll tell you about them – they represent clichés and these are just the main ones! The book is full of them, the gay failed actor turned critic (a fabulous interior designer too dahling!), the ugliest but most powerful producer in Hollywood, latent lesbianism, sinister and greedy priests, they are all here. I think maybe, just maybe, this is my problem with the book – there’s nothing new in any of the characters, the plot or I just can’t actually ‘feel’ anything for either. I have considered whether Barker means this novel as joke at the publics expense, if not, I really can’t understand how it came to be published – maybe it’s a case of I’m established, my public will buy anything I churn out? If you like Clive Barker, give this one a miss or buy it when it gets remaindered.

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