I am a dissatisfied Direct Line Rescue (ex)customer. I, like many others, took the time and effort to shop around for my motor insurance, when I got the lowest quote available on the market from ‘DL’, I was astonished to see that the premium was a LOT lower than the main rivals, so much so in fact, that upon speaking to one insurer to ask for a comparison, they asked who I had spoken to so far and the poor girl on the other end of the line could not get off the phone quick enough after the hearing the words ‘Direct’ and ‘Line’ in the same sentence.
The insurance was a dream - well at least the fact that I was comprehensively covered for less than most companies would charge me for Third Party Fire&Theft was a dream - I even had the good presence of mind to take up the very competitive breakdown cover that offered a REDUCING premium for non-usage...Fantastic
thought I.
Fantastic that is...until I accidentally bought a car that could only be described as a ‘pile of crap’.
The problem started when the car wouldn’t! Direct Line Rescue, very helpfully declined assistance on the grounds that I was parked outside my own house and I didn’t have the right type of cover, the only course of action was to upgrade my cover, which I did.
So, the next day, having had no means of transport for 24 hours whilst they made sure they were gonna get my money for the upgrade, I called again with my new policy number. “No problem sir, we will immediately despatch one of our EXPERT local garage representatives to your location so that we can help you out”
‘EXPERT LOCAL GARAGE REPRESENTATIVE’...Hmmm, perhaps the alarm bells should have started ringing about then, but I thought ‘no...a professional organisation like Direct Line, is not gonna employ a network of monkeys are they now?!’
Credit where credit is due, the monk...(I mean expert local garage representative) did arrive in under 30 minutes, I was impressed, so far I had courtesy and promptness (I don’t get that from my better half).
Unfortunately, our friend with the spanner was unable to give a proper analysis at roadside due to the fact that there were leaves on the line, or the wrong type of snow, or something like that anyway...
The terms of my cover stated that ‘in the event of one of our expert local garage representatives, not being able to get you moving, we will tow your car to a local garage of your choice’ - Very useful, if you know where all the garages are...strangely, I didn’t!!
The Expert Monkey, offered to very kindly take my car to his firms depot so that the rest of the zoo could have a look at it and try to find out what was wrong with my beloved automobile, to which I agreed, on the condition that they would provide me with a quote for the work required, I stated: “Please do not incur any costs in this respect as I don’t know if I will be able to afford to have the work done immediately, I might need to move it to my mums house, where it could safely rot while I raised the necessary funds”.
“No problem” shouted the expert as he downed another banana, scratched his arse and swung into the cab of his truck off a nearby tree!!!
About a week later, I had still heard nothing from my alleged distant cousins, so I phone the garage to see if they had found out what was wrong with it.
“Nah mate...we can’t work it out, it seems to be terminal, so you will need another engine, we can get you a reconditioned one for £1200+VAT!”
“But that’s about a hundred times what I paid for the car!” says I
“Well its that or scrap it mate, the going rate for scrapping cars is about a pound each!”
“WHAT????, I’ll have the car back then, I will of course need to get a second opinion”
“Okay mate, tell us where you want it taking and we will charge you an absolute fortune for giving your car back”
“no you wont”
“yes we will, and what’s more, you owe us £80+VAT for taking it apart and putting it back together again”
“I’m not paying that!”
“Yes you are...and until you do, we are gonna slap another £15 a day for storage”
And so...after a very vocal call to Direct Line Head Office, including threats of bad publicity in the form of getting a certain ginger Ms Robinson on the case, I was granted reprieve, I got my car back, and got it delivered to my mums house, where it commenced its rotting programme, unfortunately, I had to concede the point that the monkeys did have to dismantle the engine to establish the cause of the problem and it still cost me £80+VAT, but a small moral victory was won and I felt better about it anyway.
So...the moral of the story is, don’t let the big corporate bullies push you around and don’t get breakdown cover purely based on cost, at least with the AA, you know that their monkeys would be in with a chance of producing Shakespeare on a typewriter, the vans are nice and yellow and you get what you pay for...peace of mind.
Bad points - innefficient, no customer loyalty, no proper corporate image to convey, happy to overcharge without proper explanation, dress up in childrens clothes and drink tea all day in an amusing fashion!
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bravo bravo, totally agree with everything said! they are muppets I have had problems aswell with the monkeys! you must be a comedian!!
Xelavie 11.07.2001 10:34
That's the problem with insurance (of any type). They're so good in explaining the finer points as if it were all true. But when calling time comes you will discover the bad service and the fine prints of the policy or contract. Good caveat, a warning to would-be victims... Alex
GoldenBoy4001 03.07.2001 16:07
Brilliant op - it's great to find someone else in Ciao who has a sense of humour!! Cheers for your advice with the FPC thing - hopefully by the time the year is through I should have passed FPC 2 & 3... what can I say, I'm an optimist!!!!!!
Advantages: low tax and insurance, small, comfy, good petrol consumption, electric windows, cd player with controls on wheel Disadvantages: not a very smooth drive once you've had it for a year or so, no cigarette lighter or sun roof, everyone's got one!
Jun 21st, 2001
exceptional by (3%):
very helpful by (94%):
helpful by (3%):
