Dixcel Kittensoft Luxury Bathroom Tissue

Author's product rating:   

Advantages:	It's soft and not too expensive .
Disadvantages:	The picture on the packaging .

Recommend to potential buyers:

yes

Full review

I had to do this one. I mean! KITTENSOFT!! Every time I see it, I think of that joke where the bear and the rabbit are side by side in the woods having a cr*p. The bear turns to the rabbit and says “Do you have a problem with sh*t sticking to your fur?”
“No.” the rabbit says. So the bear picks him up and wipes his *rse on him.

Let me just point out at this stage, that this op is aimed at the white one. Bathroom co-ordination in my house always stretches as far as white, which goes with anything. Plus you can double it up as paper hankies when you need to without being too obvious.

The Packaging. I bought the mega, can’t be bothered to go shopping that often, 12 pack. It’s predominantly shades of blue, with Dixcel written in an oval, underneath which is emblazoned KITTENSOFT. Under this is written ‘Soft on the outside. Strong on the inside’. Can we assume, ‘like a kitten’? But they’re not strong on the inside. They’re really quite fragile which is why you have to be careful handling them when they’re small. Hmm.

Okay, animal welfare issues aside, you then get ‘Soft White Bathroom Tissue’ and ‘Irresistibly Soft And Quilted’(? It’s not really my idea of quilted), and here’s the best bit, a picture of a cute, white, (no bears, obviously) fwuffy kitten wiv bwue eyes. Everybody say ahh! Unfortunately the effect is somewhat spoiled by the fact that the kitten’s either stuffed, in which case they haven’t done that bad a job. Or there’s a dirty great big Rottweiler snarling its face off just out of shot, in which case we’re back to the animal welfare issues. Believe me, this kitten looks riveted. Possibly to the floor.

The contents, and are they really kitten soft? Not quite as soft as the kittens you’d normally come across. Possibly softer than an ill fed feral kitten badly in need of some flea powder and a worm tablet, but definitely not the usual well cared for variety. It is soft though. Curiously it’s only soft on the outside for some reason. And frankly it’s not that thick either, but at least it’s not economy version thin (you know! The ones your finger’s likely to poke through). Somewhere in between really.

Maybe the kitten idea is trying to latch on to the popularity of the Andrex puppy. Or even compete with it. Perhaps the plan is for all the toilet tissue manufacturers to attach their tissue to their chosen mascot and then race them to see which empties the roll first. My money’s on the little known brand ‘Inter-continental Ballistic Missile Soft’!

Opening the rolls can be fiddley if there’s not enough overlap, but at least we’re not in video wrapping territory. The perforations are generally functional. That is, it tears where it’s supposed to tear. Super!!!

You get an average of 240 sheets per roll. Each sheet is 125mm x 110mm. That’s 12.5cm x 11cm x 240. I got a pack of 12 so that’s 12.5cm x 11cm x 240 x 12. So that’s….hang on….you carry the one…no wait, I’ll start again…..if you times the first two numbers by the…Oh to hell with! It’s a lot! OK! And it’s 2ply, so if any of you managed to work out the above sum, then you’ll now need to double it.

Value Pack, 12 rolls for £2.99. Work that one out! I get 25p a roll near enough. I reckon that’s quite good value really. It’s better quality than the economy brands. It is soft despite my ramblings on the subject. It’s quite good for blowing your nose on when you need to as well.

It’s widely available, but to be honest, the bigger supermarkets seem more inclined to stick to Andrex and Kleenex, which is a shame. I got mine at good old Kwik-save (rubbish shops, great prices. Sometimes!).

So all in all, it’s pretty good. And I got this far without once mentioning ‘pussy’. Bet Deano couldn’t have done that!

And finally, er….happy wiping!