... Do people just see what they want to see? Or is it real? Will we ever know?
We all have our stories of what happened, what it was like to watch someone taking their last breath, closing their eyes for the last time on a silent world. And when we think of those stories, the people, the ache, ... Read review
...up. And we don't know, do we? Maybe there is a great marshmallow in the sky waiting for me to snuggle down in to when these old bones have given up the ghost.
It's one of life's great mysteries, and I think, at the end of it all, all anyone can have is an opinon. A feeling, perhaps. A notion of what comes next.
There are of course all those people who have had near death/reincarnation experiences, who have seen their ... ...of a grey February morning. Do people just see what they want to see? Or is it real? Will we ever know?
We all have our stories of what happened, what it was like to watch someone taking their last breath, closing their eyes for the last time on a silent world. And when we think of those stories, the people, the ache, we know what we want. We want what we cannot have. We want them back. Or we want to be rid of the guilt that we feel ... more
My brother died when I was 17. He was 7. He'd battled with cancer since the week before his 3rd birthday. We saved up and bought him a postman pat mug and plate. He wasn't allowed them in his isolation unit at the hospital, but loved them once he got back home. He always found something to giggle over, and his smile would crack the face of the heavens open with light and joy and brightness.
He died at home, in his wee makeshift bed in mum and dad's room. Cosy, warm, with mum and dad holding him. When we went in the next morning, he looked just like he was sleeping. We said so. Very pale and peaceful. We were very brave, the perfect model of dignity, everyone said so. Even though our insides were broken up into so many tiny fragments we had no idea how we'd ever fix them all back together. He was buried with his teddies, in his red socks and his blue "I'm the Boss" tracksuit. And everyone came, so many people, hundreds. To say goodbye.
Dad was different. His was not an easy, slipping away sort of death. He clung to life as hard as he could, found it more difficult to just let go. He was buried to a huge turnout, everyone there to pay their respects to a good man, a family man, so kind, so honest. It was my 22nd birthday, and when we lined up outside the church to thank people for coming, people hugged me, said how sorry they were, and happy birthday.
I could not imagine not seeing them again. My dad, my brother. Even now, all these years later, I miss them.
Life after death.
People talk about it all the time, as though maybe there is a special flowery place somewhere up in the clouds that you float up towards when your' body stops working and your heart gives up. And we don't know, do we? Maybe there is a great marshmallow in the sky waiting for me to snuggle down in to when these old bones have given up the ghost.
It's one of life's great mysteries, and I think, at the end of it all, all anyone can have is an opinon. A feeling, perhaps. A notion of what comes next.
There are of course all those people who have had near death/reincarnation experiences, who have seen their grandmother, the one that died before they were born, walking down the stairs of thier student accomodation one crisp Easter week. The mothers who have heard their dead children calling out to them, reassuring them, saying it's all okay mum, everything is fine. The hand on the shoulder, the smell on a bus of tobacco, wrigleys spearmint gum, and imperial leather soap, a smell that could only be one person, one dead and gone person. The stories don't stop, there are hundreds of them to tell - almost everyone has them, don't they?
I watched on TV a few weeks ago of a little Scottish boy of maybe 4 years, who could remember his "Bara Mum" - and a family he had been part of on the Scottish Island of Bara years ago. Years before he was even born.
We all have our stories, you'll have them - I know you do. Of loved ones who we "see" again, or hear, or catch a glimpse of out of the corner of our eyes on a busy high street in the summer warmth of May, or a dark cold of a grey February morning. Do people just see what they want to see? Or is it real? Will we ever know?
We all have our stories of what happened, what it was like to watch someone taking their last breath, closing their eyes for the last time on a silent world. And when we think of those stories, the people, the ache, we know what we want. We want what we cannot have. We want them back. Or we want to be rid of the guilt that we feel for NOT wanting them back to go through it all again, the pain, their suffering, ours.
I think, for many people, the idea of there being something else, beyond this life, this here and now, is a way of holding on to the feeling that maybe the person who has died is still around, looking out for them, listening to them, understanding their whys and their wherefores. Taking care of them from some faraway place that's actually incredibly close.
Sometimes, when you've lost someone, it's simpler than all that, it's only that there's a deep longing to see them again, to make sure that wherever they are, they're okay, they're safe, they're happy. We want them to know that we miss them, we loved them, we're sorry. We have to believe that they are somewhere, and not just in a hole in the ground. Having something to pin those beliefs to, those warm, comforting beliefs, helps us, when we need it to.
But then you come to the idea that if something stays, if the spirit of a person "goes" somewhere, then it can come back too. I find this part hard to deal with, especially when it comes to mediums and spirit healers. The idea of a person who is quietly at rest being summoned to provide lottery numbers or the secret hiding place of Great Grannies secret horde of cash, is a little beyond my liking. I don't like the idea of dad or my little brother being summoned from whatever slumber they're in simply to satisfy my need for comfort, or reassurance. I don't need that any more, I don't think.
If the people I love are still around, still with me, I'd rather think that perhaps it's simply in the memories I have of them, rather than some tangible, smoke-like presence. That maybe the dreams I have of them, where I wake up in the morning feeling like I've spent time with them, perhaps is just my minds' way of dealing with the loss that never really goes away, that just becomes softer round the edges, and not so prickly to carry around every hour of every day. Perhaps we create the ideas that help us live each day as it comes. Perhaps across the centuries, people have built their faith and their ideaology around the belief that life does, actually, go on forever. A way, perhaps of dealing with our own mortality, convincing ourselves, we're actually, no really, actually immortal.
We will all know one day. We just won't be able to tell anyone about it. Pity, that.
Guess we'd all better just live for now, and make our heavens here, where it counts. The dead are gone - we don't love them any less for all that, but they're gone, and what matters, what counts, is what we make of ourselves, our life, our breathing in and breathing out. In and out. In and out.
Advantages: Life goes on Disadvantages: Maybe there's no end
...that she wasn't going to do anything about it nor tell my mum because she was afraid of hospitals. If my mum hadn't overheard this conversation she wouldn't have had the chance to persuade my Nan to have treatment. My Nan made a full recovery but never believed my mum's story about her out of body experience; she reckons mum was listening at the door.
As a young teen I was present at one of my mums paranormal experiences, it was quite amazing. My ... ...never know, but what I do know is my Nan never told a lie in her life. My Nan was born in 1918 and as a young child lived with her parents, 3 older sisters and 3 older brothers. They lived a couple of streets away from her grandparents.
The first experience she told me about was when she was about 7 yrs old. she had a vivid dream. In the dream she was running and playing in the woods with her brothers and sisters, they were all laughing and having ...
unquietmind 08.08.2005
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Do you believe in life after death?
Advantages: It's up to everyone to decide for themselves, no compulsion Disadvantages: Consequences
...myriad chemical reactions. Why do we appreciate beauty? Why does music engage us on such a multitude of levels? Why is there a need of God?
==== PURPOSE OF THIS PIECE ====
As you may have deduced by now, I am a Christian and I believe that when I die I will have eternal life in Heaven with God, a place where there will be no more sorrow or pain or tears, only joy, love and life. So why am I writing this here now, and what am I hoping to achieve ... ...'convert', not least because I do not think that 'conversion' in this sense is anything that I can bring about. What I hope to do is share part of my journey to this point, more particularly my thought processes in the crucial few days leading up to the most momentous decision of my life, one that took at 9.35pm in the Cambridge Guildhall on Sunday 16 February 1986. It was then that I became a Christian, and it was an event I remember more clearly ...
lobourse 02.11.2007
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Do you believe in life after death?
Advantages: Feel better for putting my feelings in writing Disadvantages: Brings back tears
...mam but I had to do it and she wasn’t well enough to travel back with me. On the day of my departure we were both very sad but both trying not to cry. “See you in three weeks’ time when I come back up for you mam”.
It was Friday when I left my mam. Phoned her every night as normal. Then on the fifth night after leaving mam I thought our phone call was strange. Mam sounded strange and put the phone down on me without saying “I love you” as we always ... ...her clothes and trying to do everything decently for her. My sister arrived from Canada and we sorted mam’s stuff out together. My family arrived for the funeral and we gave mam a very good send off. Lots of people attended and I was happy for her. I chose Celine Dion’s “Goodbye” track as it was the most appropriate one for my mam. It is all about a mother’s love for her children when she is dying. My brother rang me and said that he had been looking ...
Wearsidelass 24.05.2007
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Do you believe in life after death?
Advantages: Many ....( if there's an after-life ) Disadvantages: If there's nothing after we die, why are wasting our lives now.
...And only £1.50! That'll do for me…… dribble,dribble !.....make sure it's a rare one though, like to see the blood coming out of the center,….. The rarer the better!
At this moment in time there are about 20 other Ciao members sat around, writing about all sorts of strange subjects, but not about the latest Ipod MP3 player or new toothpaste, hehe! (I may update later with who's in here, if they don't mind a mention, perhaps from my buddy list)
Oh… ... ...thought we were ace,(as you do at that age) One of our group… a girl named Jane Hawkins, got herself a moped too. She was not a very experienced rider, and we used to take the piss, but worry about her also. I think she had the bike for about 2 weeks. On the night of October 28th 1977, she was on her way to meet us all at the youth club. She made a right turn into a road leading to the club. I don't know the exact details of the accident, but she ...
mr.blue.sky 15.02.2005
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Do you believe in life after death?
Advantages: I need to believe Disadvantages: I'm afraid not to
A year ago, I would have empathetically said yes, life goes on after death, many things happened in my childhood that I could not have put down to mere co-incidences. Over time, my beliefs have been questioned over and over again, leading always to the same conclusion. Today is the 1st anniversary of my mother’s death, mostly spent crying on my own and thinking back, but I am left without comfort. I need to explore this in stages.
My Childhood.
... ...at the Spiritualist church, only giving up when she was eight months pregnant with me. In later years, she often told me that in the early stages of labour, she was calm and happy; she used to see little spirals of light in the room. When the nurse came in, the spell was broken, it was a difficult birth and I nearly died. I was born with severe damage to my neck and a wound from the placenta. After two weeks, I was still not getting any better, mum ...
Elffriend 28.05.2004
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Thank you Deena for that lovely little chat!
Well fellow Ciaoers, I hope you pop along and read Deena's reviews and leave us both a message in the Guestbooks. Hope you enjoyed this getting to know you session with Deena and I look forward to more little chats with people. ...
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Advantages: another challenge to get to know me Disadvantages: you might know me too much
kcjack is the one creating this challenge. Jill Murphy answered it, and I thought I would do it too...
● Doyoubelieveinlifeafterdeath?
Yes. How doyou explain all the paranormal things? And that's quite cool... If you live afterdeath, you can do whatever you want... You don't work... you just relax...
● Should smoking be banned in public places?
Er... No I thing there should be 2 areas... non smocker, and smockers like in France... ok, you still can smell it a bit, but it is better than nothing...
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