Dolmio Slow Roasted Garlic and Tomato Stir-in Sauce

...to my flatmates protests that Dolmio actually know what they are doing and grab myself a tub of something or other.

'''Once upon a time in Tesco'''

Off to one of my magical mystery tours of Tesco I went, grabbing some four minute pasta (better than some men I know) a big bar of chocolate, and some Slow roasted garlic and tomato Stir in sauce. After being very good in not shouting at the cashier (who was talking to the one ...
...most of you will know, Dolmio is a company who make sauces for pastas, lasagnes and lazy people. I wouldn’t recommend eating lazy people though, they tend to be a bit chewy. Good in a pie though. Their catch phrase “when’sa your Dolmio day” will offend possibly every Italian who is easily offended but their adverts are rather comical when dubbed with some vile Scottish obscenities. They also sponsor “this morning” for which I will never forgive them. ... more

Expletives all round

I’ve been in one of “those” moods this month. You know the kind. You sit and growl at people, stay up way too late playing angry songs far too loud (with the occasional burst of “all by myself” by what’s-her-whiney-face to temper it all). All the Vodka is gone and the Malibu (that caused me to go over my limit on my bank along with an admittedly frivolous £6.66 of petrol) is fast following in its footsteps, being hindered only by the lack of mixers. I feel that won’t hold me back for long though.

Why is this of any consequence to you lot? The mood also means that I really can’t be arsed coming home from 8 hours a day of dealing with idiots (some people like to call it, rather quaintly, work) and cooking. For this very reason I decided to give in to my flatmates protests that Dolmio actually know what they are doing and grab myself a tub of something or other.

Once upon a time in Tesco

Off to one of my magical mystery tours of Tesco I went, grabbing some four minute pasta (better than some men I know) a big bar of chocolate, and some Slow roasted garlic and tomato Stir in sauce. After being very good in not shouting at the cashier (who was talking to the one next to her about how Jamie totally loves Candice but that she’s a bit of a tart and she’s going to deck her next time she sees her because she totally looked at Bradley the other week for like far too long the whole while she served me) I ran home and stuck it in my fridge to wait for the next night.

Bulls eye

As most of you will know, Dolmio is a company who make sauces for pastas, lasagnes and lazy people. I wouldn’t recommend eating lazy people though, they tend to be a bit chewy. Good in a pie though. Their catch phrase “when’sa your Dolmio day” will offend possibly every Italian who is easily offended but their adverts are rather comical when dubbed with some vile Scottish obscenities. They also sponsor “this morning” for which I will never forgive them. Not that I dislike seeing them making some local woman’s darts team look like women again. That’s a public service right there.

Can’t cook, won’t cook, Will work for food

Being a fairly decent cook, I hate the idea of stuff out of jars, tubs and tins. Home made all the way. This is why I was rather dubious about buying this stuff in the first place. So, is it worth it? For 80p you can get off your lazy arse and try it yourself. There are a few different flavours in this range but they all sound a bit too funky for me to try out. So I got myself this tub, while my flatmate opted for some other horrid flavour involving bacon and cats. The reason we got a tub each, other than the flavour, was due to a little hint my flatmate had given me. The pack LIES! DIRTY DIRTY LIES!! Ahem. It states that this tub will serve two. I would have to suggest that this tub would only serve two if the people being waited on did not want sauce with their pasta. One tub is just enough for one person and if they try and tell you anything other than that, tell them to bugger off.

Vegetarians with a side of gay?

Some guy just messaged me with his home phone number. I don’t even know him. Gotta love gays. I told him it didn’t look like his bank details and asked what he expected me to do with it. Just thought I’d let you know. It amused me. Now where was I? Ahh yes. Packaging wise it’s quite a decent product. It’s a small plastic tub with a foil lid in a cardboard sleeve. The Sleeve will tell you everything you need to know. For example you will find that a whole tub of this stuff is 202 Calories (about 10% of your recommended daily intake). That’s not too bad in my books. It also has no artificial crap in it. For crap see Colours, preservatives and flavours. It’s also suitable to be used with vegetarians, but I wouldn’t even try those in a pie.

Did you actually eat it?

Yes! Yes I did! And I was suitably impressed. Usually I find stuff of this ilk to be bland, not worth the money and a total waste of my time and pasta. This stuff, however, makes me stupendously happy. It’s actually just as good as home made sauce! It’s basically a bolognaise sauce (and it’s a nice red colour too, yay) and full of flavour. If you use a tub for yourself, it covers your pasta perfectly without there being too much or too little. The only cooking that is required is a quick stir through hot pasta and walla, you have an easy meal and a happy me.

That’s it, go get some

And that is all I currently have to say on this stuff. It’s brill, full of flavour, cheaper than chips and quicker than stuff that is really, really quick. Just remember that one pot may only be enough for one person and you will be fine.
 

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