During the early 1970s mr-zeeman was trained in the folkish skills of spinning and weaving. An essential part of the course consisted of being taught how to dye our own sheep … along with any other sort of earthy, naturally-formed fibres that might be turned into a rustic garment, furnishing fabric, handbag, or (if the item defied all other known definitions) *art-form*. The dying procedure wasn't for the feint-hearted though, as it involved boiling carcinogens in heavy cauldrons for hours on end, in an enclosed, fetid atmosphere. And being splashed with the permanent dyes resulted in long-term (but colourful) disfigurement of the unlucky participants, until the surface layer of their skin was shed (by the normal sloughing process that we all experience daily, often without even noticing).

Another major drawback to these amateurish attempts was that the size of the pan, rather than human desire, dictated what could and couldn't be dyed. A dull vest could be turned into a rainbow-hued fashion statement quite successfully; but trying to brighten a faded old duvet cover was entirely out-of-the-question. The problem was …way back then, we ordinary bods didn't actually own our own automatic washing machines. Just like the current cast of Eastenders, we relied upon the local launderette for our washing needs. Public dying was a very big social faux-pas, and hand-written notices described the horrific punishments that would be meted out to anyone brass-necked enough to misuse the machines in this way. So while some really hard-core aggressive dyers, intent on getting the best effects possible, unlawfully coloured their garments in the coin-operated machines, everyone else obligingly stuck to the pan/hob method of production.

Retailing for a mere £3.99 in Wilkinsons (but dearer everywhere else), a box containing 200g of the dye powder is enough to permanently colour 500g (dry weight) of fabric … which roughly translates as either: 1 pair of jeans; 2 shirts; a skirt or dress; or a bath towel. In fact one pack can dye up to 1250g of cloth, but a lighter shade than that indicated on the packet can be expected, so for *red* think *pink*, for example. Actually I've used one box of Dye No. 35, which is "terracotta", on four peach-coloured cotton bathroom mats, weighing 2kg, to achieve an attractive "burnt orange" effect … but generally speaking, if you're considering the prospect of dying something large (like a tent, perhaps?) then you'll need one box of dye for every 500g that it weighs.

Dylon Machine Dye is a chemical irritant and obviously should be handled and stored with a modicum of common sense. However using it couldn't be easier ~

Hmmmm … the instruction leaflet which is included with the dye insists that the dyer "wears rubber gloves" … although I'm not sure why, as at no point should you actually be handling the dye (unless something goes horribly wrong).

So, not only can life be put back into faded articles, but if you're hankering for a complete home make-over, towels, bed-linen, and curtains etc can be dyed a totally different colour for a fraction of the cost of buying new stuff. And if you spot a nice, but hideously-coloured garment at a heavily discounted price in The Sales you can render it wearable with the help of Dylon.

i) The colour of the powder is no indication of what the final outcome will be. For instance, I recently used Dye No.11 which produces a good dark brown … despite the fact that the powder itself is maroon.
ii) The final colour of your article will depend upon its original hue. For example, if you use a blue dye on a red fabric the end result will be purple.
iii) If your item is dark in colour, and you want to dye it to a lighter shade, you will need to first remove the original dye … preferably not with bleach: there are gentler products on the market, specifically designed for the job.
iv) Unfortunately some items made from natural fibres are sewn together with dye-resistant polyester thread … so when dyed, the stitching will end up being a different colour to the rest of the cloth. This can be a bit of a nuisance.
v) You can't obliterate the design on patterned material, it will just become a different colour.