Advantages BP are re-branding their petroleum company 'Be polite.' Ahem, no positives. (Gerrard at a push)
Disadvantages Green, sponsored by 'Anchor Butter.'
(Predicted score: 12 – 0) Good to start the World Cup on a positive and ambitious note.Here we are at match-side, well beside a telly, for the game of two halves between the Engerland team and the US of ‘A,’ team. The States are looking quite frankly like Scotland, with their navy blue shirts and red trimmed socks, lets hope they’ve been watching Scotland premiership games rather than the superior Engerland ‘premiership;’ packed with millionaires and surgery enhanced ‘Wags.’ I’ve been slightly concerned before kick-off that Obama had spoken to our ‘blue eyed boy Cameron at 4PM GMT; about the BP (re-branded ‘Be Polite’) leakage. Fingers crossed. Not yours Green.
1 min: Settling into my seat and looking out for sexy girls in the crowd! They’ve all got the horn.
2 min: Still looking for sexy girls in the crowd, and just realized the game has indeed started.
3 min: Given up at looking for sexy girls now. USA winger Jozy Altidore looks as if he’ll give Ledley King a run today.
7 min: Singing with glee, due to my excitement, I lost three minutes of play. Heskey has made an immediate impact, almost telepathic reading from the two legendary players, they must of done that plenty of times on the training ground. It was a master-class of ‘nearly falling down;’ majestically, sliding balls through and Gerrard gliding the ball into the net. Magic.10 min: Worrying times England goalkeeper Rob Green has had to do some work. USA’s Dempsey (Where’s Makepeace?) heads into the gigantic hands of Robert Green. Nothing is going to get through those gloves today.
12 min: Several corners from the USA, but ‘Stevie G’ has it all in order and the worry subsides into a jeer. Dempsey, go back to Californication? I say with a sneer. No-body heard me, Except for giant bumble bees it seems.14 min: Back to the action, still can’t see any ‘prize totty,’ I might press the red button for extra angles. England appears lackluster after their exhilarating start. Time for Heskey to fall down, I feel. Yea, right on cue!
16 min: Those vuvuzeles, I can’t hear myself sing. I must write to Sky about that, they’re spoiling my vocal enjoyment. It’s like having a giant bumble bee on valium in my ear constantly.19 min: USA had a chance, if you call it that. England had a wake-up call with a curling cross from Donovan, (that’s an Aussie name surely) – Go back into the Jungle!
21 min: Heskey seems to be creating all the moves at present, with all is faints and flicks. He’ll be too tired to fall down soon. Aaron Lennon took over the move with a drive into the box. Naturally cleared and danger subsides. Rooney almost got a foot on the ball then. Where’s he been then?
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