Advantages None whatsoever
Disadvantages I still cry on a regular basis
I'm writing about this because I am sitting all on my own thinking about it, and I have nobody else to talk to about it!Most people on here who know me probably think I'm a happy person with no woes or worries. This is a good thing, as its the impression that I want to create. However, the reality is very different. I want to explain why, because hopefully if I do, I may start to come to terms with things. Its a part of my life that I generally block out, but I will try to stay honest and accurate at all times.
So. A while back (I'd rather not say when exactly if you don't mind) I had hit a bad point in my life. I had split up with the person I had expected to spend the rest of my life with. Of course, all my friends rallied round me, and I was going out an awful lot. One person in particular, Kevin, seemed to understand what I was going through. His girlfriend had been cheating on him with his best friend, and had left him for this person.We started out as friends, and used to talk, have a laugh and dance together to our favourite songs. After a while I realised that I had come to like him as more than just a friend.
Don't get me wrong, I'm the last person to have a one night stand as I generally don't trust any person enough to do so. However, with Kevin I felt that things were different, as we had both been hurt.We spent a night togrther at a friends house. It didn't go that far, just kisses and cuddles. The next morning we talked about what had happened and agreed that we didn't want a relationship, we just wanted to have some fun with each other! Was this wrong? I don't think so. We were both single, both been hurt, and wanted some affection and attention with no strings attached.
Anyway, a couple of weeks later, we spent the night together for real. Yes, it was nice, I enjoyed it, but a mutual friend (actually an ex boyfriend of mine from a long while back) was unhappy with what was going on, so we agreed that it would just be a one off, and that we would remain good friends but nothing more.It actually did me a favour, as I realised that my relationship wasn't asawful as i thought it was , and really deserved another go. Obviously I Didn't jump straight into it, I decided t give it a few weeks to think about it, just to make sure I was sure. How lucky it was that I did that.
I went to the doctors for a routine check up. I thought I should mention to her that I was feeling a little odd of late. A bit sicky, and tired a lot of the time. She suggested that maybe I could be pregnant, sent a urine sample away for testing, and then said that I could do a home test in the mean time, to get an answer a litle quicker, as their tests can take up to 5 days to come back. I bought a test that day, but as far as I was concerned there was no way I could be pregnant! WRONG!! The test was positive.I was at a complete loss for what to do. Yes, a part of me wanted the baby, because it was a part of me, and I loved it. But another part thouht that the best thing to do wouldbe to have a termination as soon as possible while I was still really early on, and then get on with my life.
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