Advantages Beginning to fight seven signs of ageing as you cleanse
Disadvantages Several members' husbands will hunt me down like a dog
Sweary and tallulahbang goaded me into doing this beauty challenge. Why me? I know I'm not the most masculine of men. But I've always drawn the line at make-up. This is mainly because I fear I'd be too convincing in drag (it's the child-bearing hips).Maybe that's also the reason I prefer women with minimal make-up. I've been mocked in the past for my tastes: women scornfully assure me that they all wear some sort of slap. I'm apparently just too dumb to notice. Here's the proof:
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PERFUME?
I love the smell of Napalm in the Morning (by Givenchy), naturally. But apart from that, I'm as hopeless about this as I am about all these questions. I occasionally pass a comely local lass in town and think, "that smells nice." It's often just the aroma of the chips she's eating. But short of braving the orange ladies in Debenhams and trying all the testers, I'll never find out my favourite women's perfumes.
DO YOU USE A BODY MOISTURISER?
I swear by Virgin Vie 'Therapy Spa' Nip and Tuck Contouring Body Gel... No, actually I have a tube of this because it was on a bring-and-buy stall at my daughter's school fete. My wife bought it for 5p to help them sell the last remaining items. She chucked it away as soon as we got home. I rescued it from the bin and even tried smearing it on my torso, but I didn't like the sensation of gunk on my skin. If I ever find body skin flaking off, I'll just cover it with clothes. After all, who's going to see it?
In recent years, my face has unaccountably lost some of its youthful bloom, especially in winter. So I have begun slapping on moisturiser in the mornings. What a big puff I am. I use the Simple brand, so called because I am easily perplexed and also because it has no colourings or perfumes to upset my temperamental complexion.HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED THE NEW BODY OR FACIAL MOISTURIZERS WHICH INCLUDE TANNING INGREDIENTS? WITH WHAT RESULT?
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