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In all walks of life there are people that seem to think the world revolves around them and their whole being; this sadly results in them being either totally arrogant, or exceptionally bad mannered. Most could also be considered downright rude. These are not good qualities to have and do not make nice people. In my experience the arrogant ones often tend to be bullies too (whether they realise it or not).
Thankfully I had amazing parents that bought me up to say Please and Thankyou; they taught me NEVER to talk down to someone. To always show respect (until such time I was dis-respected). Never to think myself better (or worse) than someone. Just because I may not have been the most intelligent person at school, did not make me a lesser person among my peers. What I lacked in intelligence, I made up for in common sense, and hard work. Basic good manners involves things like holding open a door for the person that may be about to go through it behind you; saying thank you if someone has held the door for you. Not interuppting when someone is speaking. These to me are the basics and something that seems to sadly be lacking in society these day. Maybe this whole Me, Me, Me attitude is down to society as a whole. Kids are allowed to do pretty much as they please these days because parents just want an easy life (I'm not saying all; I know some wonderfully behaved children who are a joy to be around,
and who will make phenomenal adults - sadly I also know some terrors that are going to be a long, long way from even friendly adults). Maybe social networking can take some of the responsibility. It's easy to sit behind a computer screen and not give 2 hoots about whoever may be sitting behind their own screen, reading the words you may be typing. On here I have seen dis-respect from members to other members. This dis-respect is Bad Manners and they should ultimately be ashamed of their behaviour; alas they won't even realise they are like it, and pointing it out to them only then gets you accused of being aggressive (or abuse from the little minions that cling on to their every word and hope that somehow they will be able to get them a better standing among the community). It's very reminiscent of being back at school. If your face doesn't fit then you aren't worthy. Treating people in this way is Bad Manners.
I've noticed the ones that do it don't have any details about themselves in their profile. They don't share their photo. Why do you think that is? I myself have seen a member diss another one today, which is what prompted this post. I believe his bad manners in the way he responded to the reviewer are disgusting. If you don't like what someone (including myself for those of you that may want to reply to this) has to say, that's fine. We are all different and that's to be expected, but learn some manners and show some respect with your replies. I was taught that if you "don't have anything nice to say then say nothing". This is good manners. Critcise all you like but show some manners in doing so. Make it constructive. Don't diss someone purely because their opinion may not be yours, or because you don't like what they have to say. I've not agreed with some of the things I've read, so I've chosen not to comment. Where I have found someone's review to be great, but thought maybe it could do with some tweaking, I have shown them manners and sent them a private message, so that they don't feel they have been shown up in public. Deliberatly trying to show someone up is exceptionally bad mannered. Thankfully the majority of the population would see you for the rude person you are, but there would be some that would hang on to your every work; they would then think it's ok to treat other people in the same way. It's not. It's bad manners. I had a read through other comments this one person has made to other members, and it seems to be the norm for them. They appear to blatently put down other members with their comments and this is not on.
It makes me wonder if this person is the same in real life (rather than when they are just hiding behind a computer tucked away in their corner of the universe). Do they shut doors on people; barge past old ladies who are slowing them up as they walk at the fastest pace they can manage. Are they one of those people that talk over others; constantly rustle their sweet bags in the cinema so the people around them can't hear what is being said. These are all attributes to bad manners.
Maybe my post here could be considered bad manners for discussing it in the open, but I have mentioned no names, or given away anything to the details of not only this one person (but many others I have seen as I have been reading through reviews). What I aimed (and wanted to do) was highlight that being rude to people; showing agression; making snide digs without actually saying anything constructive is bad manners and totally uneccessary. I wonder how many people that may have ended up great reviewers and outstanding contributors to these pages, have been put off by other members manners.
I know a lot of this comes down to the individuals ignorance of anything or anyone in world but themselves, but if we all just took a step back and looked at ourselves, maybe we could spare a more considerate thought for fellow members and not have people made to feel like they are Stupid (yes I actually had another member call me stupid in public - alas this did nothing to me as I don't know the person, wouldn't want to and really don't give a monkeys what he thinks - but someone a bit more sensitive may well have been really hurt by such words). It's a sad world when we can't be nice to each other or try to help each other in a nice, kind and positive way.
Definitely agree with the sentiments here, but if you are giving constructive criticism I don't think there's any reason not to do it in the comments section (I am aware some people take ANY criticism as personal attacks but if it truly is constructive then the writer of the comment should not have to feel bad for writing it), especially as a lot of people never look in their private guestbooks! But of course if it's not construcitve that's a different matter, though in that case it should never be expressed at all. x
kevin121 03.05.2012 18:38
Sadly there's a sense of entitlement these days with younger folk that wasn't around in my generation. Pushing past people, queue jumping at bus stops, etc etc. Anyhow, who's got your goat on here?!
catsholiday 03.05.2012 17:43
I agree there is no need for rudeness, good for you.