Everything that starts with C ...

...cooking , cleaning , doing everything for me and i was going to the hospital every day to see rob .Well he got better and was aloud home . Still my son looked after both of us, but it had done something to Rob he became very mean and he started arguing with my son. All the help he had given us,it was not on John didn't deserve this, so we moved back to Grantham,( where i still live) we moved in with his mum, who looked after us very well, this must ...
...in for a week as everything went ok. I asked Rob if he would be there this time but nope he wasn't, i had made my mind up if i was going to be on my own i might as well live on my own . So i told him the day i had my right leg off it was over.

He would not leave so i moved into a flat on my own and started to live my life the best way i could . I was going out every sat night with a few of my friends . I thought i would be on my own ... more

Hi there, I am 36 years old female, recently married to Keith Dolby, our wedding day was on the 16 July 2005 at 2 pm (The happiest day of my life). Well this is not about anything important to most of you and it has not been done for sympathy votes. Its more about me and my life and coping with a disability that i was not born with but was caused by a car accident.

I live in a bungalow with my loving husband and my loyal dog Pebbles,who i have for 8 years and been there for me in ways i can not say , i have a son, aged 21 who is a father of two, Tiffany and Joshua. I feel fortunate to have met a wonderful man like Keith as i am a double amputee, due to a car accident which happened 5 years ago at which time i thought my life was over.

How this happened was 5 years ago on the 31st of January 2000 at 1.30 am, my life changed for ever .
I was going home one night, it was cold and raining, the man i was seeing at the time was driving. He asked me for a cigarette, i was looking all over and could not find them . Then i looked up and there was car lights on our side of the road and before i could say anything the car had hit us with a big bang . I was knock out for a while, when i came round it was like a nightmare or a movie . The front window was near my face, i moved my right arm up to push the window from my face and i screamed in pain with my arm as it was broken in 5 places, there was blood every where . I looked at the driver, well i thought he was dead as the steering wheel was up in his face, his eyes was wide open and blood all over him (that image still haunts me). It was not long before the ambulance, police and air ambulance was there helping us.

I was talking to a fireman, his name was Simon, he asked me if i was in pain,i said i was sore down my right side, he put his hand down my side to see if there was anything there, when he lifted his hand it was covered in blood. My right side was bleeding very heavily, the hand brake had cut my side. I did not feel any pain at the time it just felt sore. They had to give me blood as they could not get me out of the van, i was trapped with the engine on my legs. The work the fireman did was so outstanding, they got me out as fast as they could, it was very hard for them because our van was trapped under the other car involved . I tried to move to help them free me but passed out with the pain, so i missed the ride in the air ambulance .I was taken to kingsmill hospital where i came round and a lovely nurse named Wendy was asking for any contact number, so she could ring my family for me, at this time they did not know who i was. I told her my details and gave her my sons mobile number and the drivers mums number . Then i was unconscious again.

I once again came round, this time i was in a bed with my sister, son and a few other member of my family around me.
I could not see what was wrong with me, as my neck was strapped to the bed, i asked for a mirror to see if my face was ok, it was normal apart from a few scratches. Then i was laughing and joking with my family, just like i always did . My son started to cry and i asked him why, i told him i was alive and that was all that mattered, he then told me it was hard for him to see me like this, as my legs were badly beaten . I asked the nurse if i could see them as i could not feel them . The left one had a metal tubing around it but the right one was three times its size and the foot was twisted right around so it looked like i had got two left feet. My arm was also in plaster, then there was a metal rod going into the top of my right leg.

The doctors told me not to worry, i would get better and it looked worse than it was . I believed them, how wrong i was to do so, I asked how the driver was, his name was Rob. They told me he was in a coma and it did not look good . They would not let me go and see him, so then i thought he was dead and they was not telling me . His mum Jean (bless her soul died a few weeks ago ) was there all the time she did not leave his bedside only to come and keep me informed .

Well time had gone by, I was having operations nearly every week to save my legs. Then i got the M.R.S.A bug, that was the end for me then i knew it . But still they did not tell me i may lose my legs . After 3 weeks they sent me home with no help.

My son John at the time was only 15 years old .Bless his heart he really did look after me washing , cooking , cleaning , doing everything for me and i was going to the hospital every day to see rob .Well he got better and was aloud home . Still my son looked after both of us, but it had done something to Rob he became very mean and he started arguing with my son. All the help he had given us,it was not on John didn't deserve this, so we moved back to Grantham,( where i still live) we moved in with his mum, who looked after us very well, this must have been hard for her as she was getting old herself.

I got transferred from kingsmill to Grantham Hospital and my new doctor was Doctor Halliday, a wonderful doctor, he told me that he wanted to take my left leg off as it was not healing with me having the M,R,S,A bug. I cried so hard i did not think i was going to stop, all the dancing, gone, all the jogs i used to do, gone, just like that in a second, what would i do how would i cope, who would look after me,? every thing went through my head.

I went into Grantham Hospital on 26th January 2001 to have my leg amputated, i asked Rob to be there with me as i was very scared,he arrived 10 minutes before i was due to go down to theatre, i was gutted, luckily my son and sister Cathy was there with me. I had a bad time in theatre as i thought i would be asleep for the operation, but i wasn't, i had to be awake as i had had to much anaesthetic through the year. when i came from theatre i was put on morphine, which i had a bad reaction to, which nearly killed me. I was in Hospital for two weeks, which was very hard, it didn't help me the fact that Rob was never there, i am glad my son John was also my sister Cathy,they were a big comfort they helped me keep smiling.

When i came home 2 weeks later i still had not looked at my half of a leg, i went into some kind of depression. My son was great all the way through but Rob wasn't, he was never in, always out . I had to cope with it on my own, I had family to help me and my best friend Sue came every day to clean my home and cook me a meal.It just shows who is around when you need them.

Well a year had passed, i still could not walk on my new limb as my right foot was still twisted. I went to see Doctor Halliday again, he said he wanted to amputate the right leg too as it would not heal, so this was planned to be done may 2003 . This time i was only in for a week as everything went ok. I asked Rob if he would be there this time but nope he wasn't, i had made my mind up if i was going to be on my own i might as well live on my own . So i told him the day i had my right leg off it was over.

He would not leave so i moved into a flat on my own and started to live my life the best way i could . I was going out every sat night with a few of my friends . I thought i would be on my own forever who would want to go out with a women with no legs, fat as well, as i had put a lot of weight on .

I spent most of my time on the PC in yahoo chat rooms, no one could see me in there i was normal . I was having a lot of trouble with my PC so i asked a friend of mine, a lovely lady, Tammy, if she knew anyone who could help me, she told me about her brother Keith who knew a lot about PC's . It was lucky he was on yahoo, so she gave me his I.D, we started to chat . He was very helpful, then we started chatting more and more, he sent me a few songs down in emails and i began to like him a lot. I could not wait to put my PC on to chat to him and most nights we did not stop chatting to each other until 3 am .

I went to my doctors again as i still could not walk at this time. He said it was my breasts, i was a 48DD and it was stopping me from holding myself up, so once again i had to have a operation to reduce my breasts from a DD to a D . Well i was so upset again, i just started seeing Keith we had not yet met in person but it felt like i knew him for years . I thought he would not want me with no legs and now my boobs had to go smaller, i was so unsure on what to do . Then one night around 2 days before i was due to go in to hospital i went round Tammy's, Keith's sisters house, i rang her up to see if it was ok, she said yes great we can have a chat . While i was there Keith came round i was so shy i had my back turned to him . He tried to chat to me but he was shy as well . Then i had to go to the toilet i had to crawl on the floor, well i was so ashamed of my disability . I thought then, that's it he will not want anything to do with me now he's seen me, he was very sexy, very neat and tidy, it was a shame . I was thinking at the time only if i had met him before the car cash .On the way home i felt so down in the dumps, why did he see me like this, i was like a tramp no make up, hair all over the place, i was a right mess . When i got home i put my PC on, there he was on yahoo waiting for me to come on . He said "i was lovely and he would like to see me again", then he said "my boobs was very big and it would benefit me to have them smaller but it would be a shame" that made me feel a bit better about me losing them . I was very happy i felt like i could walk a hundred miles and back again .A few days later i was in having my boobs off, he came to visit me with a card he had made on is PC and some flowers, i was chuffed to bits . I have never had a partner that brought me flowers before so that was great. He came up every day to see me, he asked me when i got out of hospital if he could stay with me to look after me, as i lived on my own, my son had moved out a few weeks before to move in with is girlfriend . I said yes and he did, he was a gentlemen as well as it was a while before he made any advances towards me, he was very understanding. Keith looked after me and gave me the strength to walk again, when i got my false legs.he came to every appointment with me and supported me all the time.

A year had passed, Keith took me away to have a rest with every thing i had gone through he thought i needed one. We went to Spain this year on 14th February, i was sat in a bar just waiting for our meal i had ordered, Keith was nowhere to be seen, i got a bit worried, i knew he would not leave me, then he came back, i told him it scared me i didn't know where he was. He put a dancing dog on the table that sang my girl, it was so lovely, when i had finished listening to it he ask me to marry him, i was so happy, who would have thought i would be getting married to a wonderful man like him, i could not wait till i got home to tell everyone. Everyone was really happy for us,they said we made a good couple. I got busy with all the wedding plans. Five months later the big day arrived,every girls dream. It was a wonderful day,and i did walk down the aisle.

Now i have two false legs below the knee and you would not know . I walk and dance and do most of the things anyone can do. Keith has made me alive again he gave me hope and helped me come to terms with my disability .So i would just like to say thank you my darling husband and to my son and friends for all the understanding and help you have given me you mean everything to me, my life i owe it to you, thank you my darling husband.

 

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