Everything that starts with E ...

You cant help but cry...

I'm quite a tough guy on the outside and nothing usually upsets me, inside I am heart warming and soft and there's certain times and moments that just automatically trigger my emotions. I thought I'd share some of the most unusal things that just hits me and sets me off, you can say I can feel others pain...

Sudden Loss Of An On Screen Superstar:

Could be seen as a bit weird, but its something I feel strong about. If you follow a wrestler on screen for a long time (especially week in week out) and you've watched that superstar for years and years, it kinda feels like you know that superstar in person, that person has been lighting up the screen for years and been extremely successful and would just love that person to entertain for many more years to come. All of a sudden that superstar dies and it rocks the sport/wrestling world, you have a very emotional and upsetting tribute on the next show and all the other superstars are crying and paying their respects to a true great competitor.

Back in 2005, the wrestling world lost an amazing superstar in Eddie Guerrero, this guy was one of my favourite's and one hell of a wrestler...one of the best. What made it so shocking for me is first finding out he died by seeing a picture of him in the newspaper and saying that he'd died, I was completely in shock as i've only just arrived home from a course and wanted to kick back and chill out for the evening. I watched Eddie Guerrero wrestle for years and years and seeing him win the World Heavyweight Championship against Brock Lesner back then was one of the greatest moments in wrestling history.

It may seem a bit silly to cry over someone on the t.v, but I worshipped the ground this guy walked on and really loved seeing him come to the ring and do what he does best each and every week and that is put on the greatest performance for wrestling fans all over the world. He's tribute on the very next WWE Raw show was very emotional and upsetting and seeing other big superstars that loved him so much, crying and in pain over the loss was very hard to watch.

Dave Batista and Chris Benoit (both former World Champion who loved Eddie Guerrero as a brother) both uncontrollably crying and wanting their friend back in the ring with them was very deeply emotional. He was more closest to Benoit out of the two and when he was paying tributes to he's best mate in an interview in the back he was breaking up, uncontrollably crying, he was in bits...I've never seen Chris Benoit like that before...he's always shown no emotion in the ring and to see a ruthless superstar like Benoit break down as much as he did certainly set me off.

After the show I was even in bits, I kept thinking to myself "this is crazy...I can't believe I'm sobbing over someone I'm watching on t.v" it was sudden shock to the business, losing someone who meant so much to the company, the superstars and the fans. What else made him such a tragic loss was he's personality, Eddie was one of the most hilarious superstars with the biggest personalites. He used to make me laugh when he'd fall to the floor pretending to be knocked out by the steel chair, behind the referee's back he would bring in a steel chair, throw it to he's opponent and fall flat on the floor and when the referee turned around he would disqualify Eddie's opponent make Eddie the winner by DQ.

Even though Eddie had a past of drugs and booze addiction (which of course...didn't help) that didn't matter when he was performing inside the squared circle. I want to remember him has a one of the greats in wrestling, not for he's past outside the ring. It was Eddie's newphew Chavo, who found him dead in he's hotel room and was of course deeply cut up inside on he's raw interview tribute. At the time it was very emotional, a tragic and sudden loss that ripped part of greatest out of the Wrestling world.

When It All Got Too Much:

It takes alot to break me and I mean alot...I'm not going to hide it, I've had quite a rough ride with my family and It's been really hard to keep my sanity...especially for what's been happening in the last ten to twenty years. There's been tough times but the times I've had have been ridiculously insane, but I've managed to stay sane. Losing both my beloved nan's and my beloved grandad, my mum becoming ill and my dad being rushed in and out of hospital with heart problems and then there is...my uncle with agraphobia (frighened to go out).

Over the years, stress built up and built up and built up and I was trying to stay strong and keep it together because it seemed everything was happening at once. Even though my two nan's and grandand died years appart it was the whole uncle with agraphobia that really got all too much. Any little thing that upset him would get him keed up, panic and would lose he's temper by throwing things around and smashing them up, he would make us all suffer for this by doing things like waking us all up by calling all times of the night screaming and shouting on the phone...that is one of a hundred things he would do to completely stress us out.

If I could go through every aspect and time that he's done I would be writing for ever, there's just to many times to name, It would even cover several 500 page books. All through the way my uncle is, I and all my family have lost control at some time and he's made us feel at our lowest...I don't think anyone or anything else could of made us feel lower. One evening It all got too much...my family was visiting my uncle (it had already been that kind of day where everything went wrong and he was keed up round there) I wanted to chill out by myself back home, I couldn't sit round there listening to every little problem he had.

I decided to chill out with a couple of beers, I normally put a bit of music or watch the football...this particular day put me at my lowest and all I wanted to do was drink, drink and drink. For some reason I felt like exploding into rage...I had to let out all that stress and anger...I lost it...I started screaming like mad, uncontrollably punching the wall until my knuckles bled...I did throw a chair or chair two around the room, broke the top of the record player, smashed the louvre's...as soon as I exploded It was like I couldn't control it.

All of sudden, I found myself sat on the floor, up against the wall in the passage just sobbing and screaming like a madman...It was the night I just lost it. I did do something really, really stupid, something I certainly regret...I wont mention what I did...all I will say is...I'm really surprised and glad I'm still here. My uncle has calmed down a bit now, not because of me having a break down (he don't know that happened and it will stay that way) he just managed to calm down himself in general and has since made life alot easier...What triggered he's fear of going out was when he was younger he used to get bullied alot at school and due to him having twisted gums he had to have all he's teeth removed and that made he really self concious and afraid to go out, he's been like it for about twenty to thirty years now...the thing is it hasn't made life easy at all.

Emotional Endings to Films/Programs:

There are just some endings to certain films and programs that just make me teary and emotional, especially the ones you love the most. This is a most common thing for anyone to feel emotions over, following a story all the way through and then finding out one of the leading characters die and it becomes a very ending. I am very soppy when it comes to watching an emotional ending to a story in a film or soap, especially as well if you really like that particular character...that can just trigger it off for a start.

Of course...I cried at the end of Saving Private Ryan, I have deep respect for the soldiers that went out there and thought for our country and died for our country and seeing all those white cross gravestones of all the fallen and buried soldiers at the end was really upsetting. Tom Hanks lead the team throughout with Matt Damon as Private Ryan, only for the remaining survivor to be kneeled down beside the graves distraught at loss of the entire team.

Certain soap endings choke me up, death scene's in Hollyoaks and Home and Away are the most upsetting, they put their emotional scene's together brilliantly. When a long serving character you get used to suddenly leaves the soap and go out of it tragically that can be heart wrenching for the viewers watching as well as for the characters in the soap. Departing Eastenders scenes can be quite emotional as well, alot of them at the end I 've been a bit sad over...I don't completely cry me eyes out (that would be silly) but it does slightly play a bit on the heart strings.

*ThankYou for taking the time reading my review*

JasonJRogers