A letter to my husband
I want to thank you for all the love and support you have given me over the years.
We met 20 years ago in July 1984; you were at your mum’s on leave from the RAF. You walked into the pub where I was happily getting a bit plastered with my mates. My older brother brought you over to our table telling you he knew someone who would like to meet you again. When you saw me you didn’t even recognize me did you Jim. I had changed so much, the first time we had met was 8 years before when I was at your family’s house at New Year, you were on leave then as well, we were introduced and I had my first ever kiss albeit a New Year one. I was rather plump then, but now I was a size 8 and looked completely different. We talked and chatted for ages and you asked me out to dinner the next evening.
At dinner you told me you were married but that your then wife had walked out on you and your 2 little boys when they were 1½ and 3½, you had interim custody of the boys and were awaiting a ruling from the court to say if you had final custody. We decided that neither of us wanted anymore than a friendly relationship, I had been hurt very badly in the past and didn’t want anything serious so just good friends it was to be. We saw a lot of each other over the next 2 weeks and then you went back up north to your home and RAF base. We were always on the phone to each other; your self esteem was so low, I wanted you to know you had support and make you laugh. You arranged other leave passes and came to your mums at weekends but you were always at my flat. In the October you turned to me one night ‘Carol’ you said ‘after this custody battle is all sorted out will you please marry me’, I didn’t even have to think about it did I ‘of course I will’ I replied. So much for staying just good friends!!My job since I left school was looking for people to take voluntary redundancies, after a lot of discussions we decided I would take it and move up north to be with you and help with the boys. The final court decision was to be in the January of 1985. Two weeks prior to the court hearing we got word that the judge who had heard your case had died without giving a decision on your case. We were devastated but looked on the bright side and hoped that everything would workout. Later we found out that everything had to go to court again and be heard in front of another judge. Two years later finally we got word to go back and a new judge heard all, 1 week later he gave his verdict and although full of praise for you and the way you had looked after your sons in the very last paragraph he said he felt children so young should be with their natural mother and not a substitute mother. We were reeling literally and could not believe what he had said; the boys had to be given to their mother within a week. By this time the boys were 5 and 7 years old. More shocks were to come when we found out 3 weeks later your ex had sold the house her, her boyfriend, their son and your 2 boys were living in and moved back to England, with no forwarding address.