Everything that starts with S ...
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Review of "Everything that starts with S ..."
It’s been a few weeks since I wrote a review so to get me back into the swing of it all again (and fill the mailboxes of those unfortunates who have me on alerts) I have decided to do a challenge. “Boo, hiss, complain” I hear you yell but don’t worry, it won’t do you the reader, any permanent damage unless you are hyper-sensitive or of artistic temperament. If that is your disposition, then look away now before it is too late.
1.DESCRIBE THE BEST FEELING YOU'VE EVER HAD.
With or without the aid or stimulating substances? Haar! The best feeling I have had was on my wedding day when I got to say ‘Yes’ in the surroundings and company that we both wanted. It was a small country church that we squeezed 156 people into. This included 15 2 year olds and 7 other under 10s who all stayed pretty quite throughout the ceremony.
There were a couple of palpitating points like when the vicar mentioned marrying my husband to a bottle of baileys during his sermon which stopped my heart as I wondered if he was cracking up on the job but it was only as a part of a theme on the things Rupert loves. During the “does anyone here know of any lawful impediment to this couple being married” bit the heavy oak church door opened and I did think… “it couldn’t be” but it wasn’t. Just merely a two year old coming back in after a fit of wanderlust in the church grounds.
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Mother, also Elizabeth known as Lily by all. Now that I am pregnant with a daughter (due March 20th!)I am going to give her the 2nd name of Elizabeth and she can carry this on if she wants.
When I do go to the countryside one of my favourite things to do on clear nights is to go and sit outside and watch the night sky. I think we all need reminding how insignifigent we and everything are every now and again.
3. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
I used to when I was very young and at the stage of having my whole life in front of me with no clear direction to go in. Now I am living in London and can only see a few of the very brightest stars at night and no shooting ones so it is up to me to make my wishes come true and not rely on random acts of nature.
It was really hard work and I have sweated less and used less muscle groups during a 10 hour shift behind a busy bar.
4. WHICH FINGER IS YOUR FAVOURITE?
My wedding ring finger as I wear there the wedding band that my husband made me. We went to a one-day workshop in Hatten Garden (London) to make each other’s and it gave me a huge appreciation of the work that jewellers do. It took us, two people, working for 6 hours all that time to make just two platinum rings from the base lumps of metal they started out as.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
5. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
I really can’t remember the last time I had a really good all out cry. I am more a simmering and quickly wiping type. I got a bit weepy when watching ‘Four weddings and a funeral’ last night during the reading of the WH Auden poem ‘Stop all the clocks’ to commemorate the passing of one of the main characters. It goes like this:
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
6. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes I do. It is neat, practical and occasionally artistic which totally muffles the true nature of the character of the person behind it who is disorganised, occasionally irresponsible, lazy and prone to obsessive-compulsive behaviour.
7. FAVOURITE LUNCHMEAT?
Am veggie. Don’t do lunchmeat. However I used to work in a supermarket delicatessen where we sold tons of the stuff every day, I used to read the food labels (even then) and they were full of water, salt, preservatives, additives, colourings oh and “meat” (3%) Even if I was not a veggie, I reckon this is the one meat I would not touch with a mile of bargepoles.
8. ANY BAD HABITS?
I plan rather than do. I am great at making lists but bad at doing all the tasks listed on them. This is great for the programming aspect of my job but not so good for all the administration stuff.
However I do try to get around this by making really long lists and only getting a percentage of the tasks completed which sort of works.
9. WHAT'S YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD?
No really embarrassing CDs but I do have ‘Push’, a Bros vinyl that I won in a ‘Number One’ (music magazine) competition.
I should throw it away as it really comes under the heading of worthless clutter but I think it’s bad luck to throw away things I won. Perhaps I’ll wait for the day they are selling for £100 a time on Ebay WITHOUT holding my breath!
10. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yeah, as long as I was the sort of person (not me) who was into cinema, babies, books, computers, swimming, keep-fit and travel.
As me, the person who was not me would have to be a good conversationalist, easy to get on with, funny and honest.Then we would have both have to meet, as me, I would have to be in a good mood. As not me, (s)he would have to be a good mood. We would have to be in close enough proximity to engage in conversation…
Ah hell, it’s amazing we make any friends as adults at all.
11. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
No and it is an enormous source of pride to me. I have let myself down on all sorts of things that I always promised myself I never would, done the dirt on someone, told a lie, stole something. Sometimes the fact that I kept my word (and stumness) on a confidence seems to be my only redeeming quality besides the fact I have never injured / maimed / raped or bitched about anyone.
Brain and looks are a winning combination and can take you anywhere
12. DO LOOKS MATTER?
My oldest friend Carol who I have known since I was eight is a 5”9 slim blonde with good teeth and gorgeous eyes. The attention that her looks get her do not seem to be worth the trouble they cause as far as I can see. This could be also an indication of the type of jealous men she dates so I guess my answer to this is –
Looks alone will get you only so far and pretty far into trouble as far as I can see
Being plain with a brain, as well a bit of Estee Lauder and a bit of confidence and you might as well have looks and brains.
13. IS THERE A POT OF GOLD AT THE BOTTOM OF THE RAINBOW?
If a rainbow is a journey and the route via a lot of work and a bit of shrewdness, then yes there is a pot of gold or something valuable at the end of it.
14. DO FISH HAVE FEELINGS?
No but cod has a pretty nice taste if cooked in milk and a little pepper.
15. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
The bottle bank. I go there and smash the glasses as hard as I can against the metal bar that runs down the middle of the containers. However if someone is really in my face and all I want to do is kick them in the shins (hard!) I start singing “somewhere over the rainbow” to myself and it always works. Sometimes it even makes me smile which has a way of disarming the most aggressive people.
16. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
My only home is here with my husband and son and daughter to be. Cork (see earlier reviews) is my spiritual home as it is the place I feel most comfortable and relaxed.
17. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE CHILDHOOD TOY?
A huge rag doll which was almost as tall as my eight-year-old self called Raggy Annie. She had real wooden clogs attached to long spindly black legs, red hair and a yellow face. Unfortunately I hugged her to death as her material wore away and all the sawdust she was stuffed with went everywhere.
18. WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS USELESS?
Learning is never useless and I think that anyone who propagates the idea that there are things not worth knowing are the useless elements themselves. If you know about pop stars and their private lives, write for a tittle-tattle magazine. If you study for four years to complete a degree in classical studies, give computers really interesting names derived from Greek and Roman literature.
If life gives you poo……
19. DO YOU LIKE SOPPY LOVE SONGS?
I like the type of love song sung by Tom Waits. Sad mournful and lived in. Anyone with a good voice can dress in the latest fashions, stand behind a microphone, have a hired orchestra play behind them and bawl out “I love her, she loved me but you got in the way – woo-ooo-ooooh” but it takes a gut honed on whiskey, fingers made long and slender from years of piano playing and the vocal raspiness which comes from using cigarettes as a food group to put the feeling into lyrics like:
Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you
'Cause falling in love just makes me blue,
Well the music plays and you display your heart for me to see,
I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you.
Now it's closing time, the music's fading out
Last call for drinks, I'll have another stout.
Well I turn around to look at you, you're nowhere to be found,
I search the place for your lost face, guess I'll have another round
And I think that I just fell in love with you.
(Tom Waits, I hope that I don’t fall in love with you, Album: Closing Time)
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV OR RADIO?
21. DO YOU HAVE A DIARY?
Yep and I write in it about once a week. I think a better question here would be “Would you like anyone to read what is in your diary and why” but since that is not what was asked, I don’t have to answer it, right?
22. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Only with people who know me as I realise that people who are not used to me can take sarcasm and criticism to heart but mostly I use it to be funny. When I heard that Paul Burrell was going to be in the Celebrity jungle thing, I reckoned now the Queen really had a reason to watch ITV and cheer.
23. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSHPIT?
No, although I did go to Glastonbury when I was 38 weeks pregnant and walked around the circumference of the fence as well as all over the grounds. The pastie and the groughnut makers made a fortune that year, I can tell you!.
24. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM NIGHT WITH THAT SOMEONE SPECIAL?
I have actually had this so I guess I am going to have to come up with another one but it went this way:
Wake up in Paris after a week of working hard
Early afternoon plane to London
Little light clothes shopping punctuated by the odd G&T (Summer) or Hot Whiskey (Winter)
Go and have an early supper in Palais du Gardin in Covent Garden
Go and see a show preferably Chicago
Home from West End in Black cab so we can snuggle and chat
25. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
I don’t have any outside of the Internet where anyone who has not met me in person knows me as ElizaF.
26. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Before I went to Australia a few years ago (with a three month old in tow) I would have replied ‘No way’ but when we were in the blue mountains there, I went on a train which was on an 80 degree angle going up the side of a hill, I was terrified and would have flat refused to get into the thing if I had been on my own but as I was there with my husband-to-be and surrounded by his cousins and aunts, I had to bite the bullet and do it. The next week I went in a glass fronted helicopter over the cliffs of the New Zealand coastline which dipped and dived in a very alarming way and I realised I wasn’t scared, not a twinge.
Before the end of the holiday, I had even had a go at zorbing (which must have curdled the old breast milk a bit) and now all I have left to do is a bungee jump which I’ll have a go at when no.2 (currently in internal incubator) is about a year old.
Never unless they are my baseball boots which are 15-holes so I have to untie them to get them off.
28. WOULD YOU EVER WEAR OVERALLS?
If I was doing a job that required it then yes I would. As a fashion statement, then erm, no.
29. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
Four and not an ounce of sense to back them up. Now THAT’S ironic!!
31. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST RIGHT NOW?
30. DOES ANYONE HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU?
If they do, they are very discreet and subtle about it. There is someone in my past who thinks that they love me (the one I thought was at the Church door) but it is just a silly infatuation brought about by a lack of a girlfriend. I notice when he is going out with someone, the emails and the texts dry up completely, not that I ever reply as I don’t want to encourage him, only to start again when he is single. There is nothing you can do when someone is convinced that you are the answer to everything when you haven’t offered to be except ignore them and hope it passes as soon as possible.
My son who is in nursery. I would rather be at home looking after him but he is getting so big now that he needs the entertainment and company of other children and we need the second wage. I am really looking forward to having him and baby at home for the few months before he starts school next year.
32. WHAT'S THE WORST CHAT-UP LINE YOU'VE EVER HAD?
“Nice moustache” Admittedly, I was dressed as Charlie Chaplin for a college tramps ball at the time but it was only funny when the first bloke said it to me. After the 15th, it did start to grate a bit.
33. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MARRIED?
I am and I thoroughly recommend it if you find someone that you love with all your being and know is right for you.
34. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TODAY?
Get up at 6am, have breakfast, check email, go to work, have a nice lunch, leave to collect son from nursery, come home, play with son on sitting-room floor (usually involves complicated lego structures) make dinner, welcome hubbie home, watch Corrie, put son to bed, do pilates, cup of tea and half an hour of reading Wodehouse before bed.
35. DID YOU ENJOY DOING THIS QUIZ?
It filled in the blank spaces in my working day very nicely.
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Manufacturer's product description
Listed on Ciao since: 05/10/2000