Got some really nice comments on my last writing attempt so I'm afraid you're in for it now.....yep another one....last one for a while I promise.She stood there staring at everyone, her dad, her dad was crying, she couldn't ever remember seeing that before. There were five other people in the room with her and she looked at all of them, her mum's eyes were red rimmed, her sister's bright blue eyes brimming over. She turned to A he sat at the bottom of the stairs his head in his hands and his girlfriend S was approaching her trying to hug her. She wondered briefly what was wrong with her, shouldn't she be crying too? Her eyes were dry. Her dad took charge, there were arrangements to be made other people had to be told. She found her voice, or more to the point her voice found her, "You have to phone my boss tell him I won't be in" It seemed to her a strange thing to be thinking about surely there were other things she should be thinking about, other things she should be feeling.
She got home no sign of a tear yet, there were more people in the house, they knew, they looked at her with pity in their eyes. They wanted to talk, she didn't. She sat on the sofa while they discussed it, dragging deeply on one cigerette after another, she'd been allowed to smoke in the living room, she was usually relegated to the back garden. One by one people left, it was just her and her parents. She went to sleep. Sleep came easier than it should have, she tried to stop it, thinking she shouldn't but she lost. She dreamt mixed up dreams that it was all a big joke, that it wasn't true. She dreamt she found him.She woke up and the sun was shining, she leant back lazily in bed, she rolled over the bed was empty, she remembered. The smile faded but still the tears did not come. She had to tell people, wanted to tell people, maybe if she said it, it would be real. She phoned M, "He's dead" M was shocked having just returned from holiday "He killed himself" M came and brought the boys with her. They sat in the sunshine discussing their holiday, her phone continously beeped, people knew. She started explaining.
They'd been friends first her and him, she'd been almost sixteen when they got together. It was so happy at first. They'd eventually moved into his dad's together, living in one room, she was nineteen at this point. They'd started to argue, he became jealous of the boys and to a lesser extent her success. They'd started arguing a lot. She summoned the nerve to try and break it off and he threatened to kill himself so she'd stayed. They decided to move to her parents, they would have two rooms, more space maybe that would help. It did for a while but they fell back into arguing, he quit his job and she felt stuck in the middle of him and her parents. She tried to end it again, but he stayed living there and old habits are hard to break.She'd come home from work one day and he wasn't there. She tried phoning and couldn't get through, she got mad and went out with M and the boys.
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