Coolaskaha has authored this challenge, and Christianfilmcritic did a good version of it. In my twisted sense of humour, I saw opportunities to make my pals groan - so here we go.!
1. ITV or BBC? It was neither - I promise you - when I didn't turn up for church that week, I was genuinely sick, and I was not watching ITV or BBC, not even UKTV… I was really sick.
2. Sunny or Rainy? Of course its rainy at the moment.! How can you possibly ask if its sunny, when this is spring time in Ireland
3. Cat or Dog? I would be quite prepared to eat either actually, and think that I probably have at some time or other; but if you are offering them in a stir fry with crispy noodles, I think the cat may be more tender, thanks.
4. Cod or Haddock? I've been sitting on the beach for three hours today, and I haven't caught anything yet, so frankly I would happily land either a cod or haddock - frankly, even a sardine would do.
5. Hotdog or Hamburger?
Ooops, thought we were going back to question 3 again.! If you really insist that I tell you which I would prefer to sell if I lost my present job, then I would probably say, Hotdog - they are so much easier to cook, aren't they?
6. Crisps or Popadoms?
I don't think I would choose either of them as a name for my new grand-daughter, but if I had to I would go for Popadoms - it's a nicer sound... 'Come here to grandad, my wee popadoms' - Yes, that's it for sure.
7. Disney Land Paris or Florida?
I can't stand all those kids on holiday, so I would give Disney Land Paris a miss, and I would just go to Florida.
8. African or Indian Elephant? Well the photo was taken at the Maasai Mara, so it was not going to be a flippin Indian, was it ?
9. Chicken or Fish?
Yes I understand your confusion - most of these Lidl ready-meals are very hard to distinguish. Oh its got bones in it - probably cat then.!
10. Long Hair or Short Hair?
OK so you think you're funny do you.? If there is one thing I cannot tolerate, it's the constant spate of jokes that guys like me have to take about our follically challenged state. It is NOT funny, and how anyone can make cheap shots like this about a genetic deformity puzzles me.!
11. Big Brother or I'm a Celebrity....?
Well I am both actually.
12. Star Trek or Star Wars?
I don't like these celebrity contests, personally.... but I think I would prefer to see the celebs doing a Trek.
13. Teletubbies or Tweenies?
I do not think many people would say I look like a Tweenie, but if you are suggesting I look like a Teletubby, your hubby had better get the life insurance policies out of the cupboard.
14. Horse or Donkey?
This should follow question 3. I have eaten horse meat, and found it acceptable. As far as I know, I have not even licked an ass.
15. Shark or Dolphin? There's an awful lot of these weird foodie questions, aren't there? Dolphin would actually be tastier, but all these conservationists would make life unbearable, so I'll just have a shark steak please.
16. Clubbing or Romantic Meal?
If my wife gives me a hard time, there's no possibility of a romantic meal this evening - so it will be a clubbing, definitely.
17. Fire or Central Heating?
Yes that's what the Irish guy asked when I told him my dog was in heat.
18. Black or White?
That question verges on non-pc language - the only minstrels I eat, are chocolate ones.
19. Trainers or Killer Heels?
I have worn both, but think the heels look better when I'm in drag.
20. Tabloid or Broadsheet?
I'm not snobbish, and am perfectly happy getting my chips in the tabloid
21. Carrots or Peas? I've never tried blowing carrots through an empty bic tube - so I'll stick with the peas, please.
22. Lamp Light or Candle Light?
So long as they are not too heavy, I prefer to take the lamp on my fishing trips…. Candles are not so good on the beach, thanks.
23. Cola or Lemonade?
I haven't done a scientific experiment, but I would guess the cola would cause worse flatulence.
24. Hollywood or New York?
I have been to both, but Holywood is closest to where I live - just about 5 miles
25. Tap Water or Mineral Water?
What is this fascination of yours with my hair - I don't use tap or mineral to wash my hair - now give over.
26. Tomato or Cucumber?
I have never used either of them for my complexion, but would probably try the cucumber first.
27. C.D or Tape?
I said NO recording my interview - Listen, mate, if you dare to record this conversation - then whether it is CD, tape or even DVD - I'll get Mickey and the boys on to you - understand.!
28. Video or DVD? What part of 'NO RECORDING THIS INTERVIEW' do you not understand! Rough him up , there, Mickey - teach him a lesson.
29. Sofa or Chair? Mickey, what planet are you on - we don't have an electric sofa to torture our opposition on - use the chair.
30. Shoes or Bare Feet?
Mickey, what have I told you, a thousand times - the electric current won't work unless they are in bare feet.
Well, Coolaskaha - this was a weird and wonderful challenge - but hopefully I have made myself clear!
Pictures of Everything that starts with T ...
African or Indian
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
You are a very weird person. I do not understand how your wife puts up with you. You are also an animal murderer and i shall have my people deal with you. Now go and wash your back hair... : ) Great Review x x x
UKRushbrook 24.11.2006 12:12
That was very funny. Definitely worth another E from me.
Advantages: Whiles away hours of time otherwise unfulfilled Disadvantages: Most people choose to fill their life with TV, in my opinion a waste of time.
May 4th, 2006
(May 14th, 2006)
exceptional by (8%):
very helpful by (92%):
